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My real name is Sandy
Joined
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2,375 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This will drive you nuts!
>
>
>
>
> Is it no wonder we have trouble with speaking and
> reading.
>
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>
>
>
>
> THIS IS GREAT!!!
> Read all the way to the end.............. This
> took a lot of work to put together!!!
>
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> You think English is easy???
>
>
> Read to the end . . . a new twist
>
>
>
> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>
>
> 2) The farm was used to produce produce .
>
>
> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
> more refuse .
>
>
> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>
>
> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead
> out.
>
>
> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
> the desert.
>
>
> 7) Since there is no time like the present , he
> thought it was time to present the present .
>
>
> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the
> bass drum.
>
>
> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
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>
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> 10) I did not object to the object.
>
>
> 11) The insurance was invalid for the
> invalid.
>
>
> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how
> to row
>
>
> 13) They were too close to the door to
> close it.
>
>
> 14) The buck does funny things when the does
> are present.
>
>
> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
> sewer line.
>
>
> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught
> his sow to sow.
>
>
> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the
> sail.
>
>
> 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I
> shed a tear.
>
>
> 19) I had to subject the subject to a
> series of tests.
>
>
> 20) How can I intimate this to my most
> intimate friend?
>
>
>
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
> There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger; neither
> apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
> invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats
> are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
> meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its
> paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing
> rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
> is it a pig.
>
>
> And why is it that writers write but fingers
> don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers
> don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
> isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese.
> So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't
> it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
> get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
> it?
>
>
>
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
> praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
> humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
> speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
> verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play
> and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
>
>
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
> while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to
> marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
> house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
> form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
> going on.
>
>
> English was invented by people, not computers, and
> it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
> course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars
> are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
> are invisible.
>
>
>
> PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with
> 'quick' ?
>
>
>
> You lovers of the English language might enjoy
> this.
>
>
> There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more
> meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is
> 'UP.'
>
>
> It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward
> the sky or at
> the top of the list, but when we awaken in the
> morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a
> topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the
> officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
> secretary to write UP a report ?
>
>
> We call UP our friends. And we use it to
> brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm
> UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock
> UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At
> other times the little word has real special meaning. People
> stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP
> an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one
> thing, but to be dressed UP is special .
>
>
>
> And this UP is confusing: A drain must be
> opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP
> a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
>
>
> We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
>
>
>
> To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP
> , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
> dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and
> can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP
> to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways
> UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but
> if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a
> hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is
> clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is
> clearing UP .
>
>
> When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes
> things UP .
>
>
> When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry
> UP .
>
>
> One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP
> , for now my time is UP , so........it is time to
> shut UP !
>
>
> Oh . . . one more thing:
>
>
>
>
> What is the first thing you do in the morning &
> the last thing you
> do at night? U-P
>
>
 

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Angel Gage's Grandma
Joined
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8,017 Posts
As I have watched my adopted daughter (from Russia) learn English these past 4 years, the difficulty and inconsistencies of the English language have amazed me. Trying to answer some of her questions about spelling or pronunciation has often caused me to tell her "I don't know" why something is as it is. I studied Latin for 4 years in high school, and Russian for 2 years in high school and 4 years in college. Both of those languages are FAR more logical and consistent than is English. I'm surprised anyone who is not a native speaker of English ever learns to communicate in it.
 

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Registered
Joined
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22,569 Posts
I get all caught up when I write because every word gets stuck in my head in every tense and spelling.

The Prophet would love to make a profit.
 

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Registered
Joined
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16,316 Posts
For me being a German in the beginning it was hard to learn, now it's like ok I can do this. I learned a lot thought my kids growing up in school, but I have to say I still make up my own words sometimes..LOL
 

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reputation: spotted
Joined
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2,472 Posts
Gotta love the English language. I think it is far harder to learn English as a second language than another foreign language.
They do say that English is the toughest language to learn as a 2nd language.
Nah. It's relatively easy. English is like a simplified version of German with a bit of French and Latin mixed in (Saxons, Normans and Romans, I guess :)). It has very simple grammar, that's why it's relatively easy to learn for people worldwide.

Its simplicity is also what gives it its beauty. I like English because it is precise and to the point. It allows you to say things with fewer words than you would need in German or French or Spanish. That's why it lends itself so well to poetry and science.

(now, if only people would figure out the difference between to lay and to lie...:D)
 
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