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Beware of Nestle Purina
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Why would you have to give up fostering?

I am a foster failure myself and I can still foster (cats).
 

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I have a max # of dogs I can have at my house, I can't imagine not fostering anymore, so no I would not adopt a foster if it meant I could not foster any longer.
 

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I can honestly say that I have had some fosters recently that I absolutely adored and would have adopted in a heartbeat because they fit in so well in my home and with my pack. But I didn't because I can only (personally) do 4 dogs and my three are permanent and the 4th slot is for fosters (or trainees). I can't give any more than that emotionally, physically or financially.

It broke my heart to have them leave my home, but I have to be able to keep fostering. The last one that stole my heart completely was Virgo:

 

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Yes. I would be a foster failure if I ever gave it a try. I get attached to animals pretty quickly. I'd like the cat or dog and want to keep it around permanently.

That's not an option at this point anyways. We have two cats and two dogs now. The addition of the last kitten seemed to make the house shrink, lol. No more animals until we get some land.
 

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Due to a severe case of foster failure, I'm on hiatus....I can't say that I've given it up, just that there's no room in the inn for the time being.

I'm at three dogs right now and that is my personal limit, however they are all seniors (my weakness) and I know that our time together will be shorter rather than longer. When that sad day arrives for one of them I'll be back at it and welcome in a new oldie.
 

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Mom to 9 :)
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I don't do well fostering goldens as I fall too hard for them. That said, I have failed more than once and have never regretted adopting any of them. There are lots of other ways to help with rescue--we do a lot of volunteer transports (goldens as well as all breed) and so far (knock wood) I haven't failed one of them although sorely tempted :)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
A little background: Joseph was rescued 8 months ago from a kill shelter, he had been picked up after being dumped and he was reported to be terrified of people. Through an assessment with a certified behaviorist we found that Joseph had way more problems than just people (shows signs of being abused- flinching, or ducking at certain hand movement or approaches, running and hiding if you raised your voice, or he 'thinks' he is in trouble) - he was/and is terrified of and highly reactive to new dogs and the world in general scares him. We have worked long and hard with him, building his confidence, expanding his comfort zone, and helping him learn that the world is not so scary. There is no 'cure' for Joseph issues - just lifelong management and reinforcement of the skills he has learned and will learn - it is a process.

On the upside, once Joseph learns to trust you, he is an amazing dog, loving, loyal, devoted,obedient, and happy beyond measure in an environment he feels safe in. We love him, and truly only want what is best for him, there could be a perfect adoptive family for him, but in six months that he has been available for adoption - that family has not come forward. Joseph does deserve a second chance and a forever family that will love him for who he is and give him the life he deserves.


time out[1].JPG
 

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He is beautiful and is lucky to have you as his foster family!

The deciding factor for my adopting both Jasper and Daniel was that the adoptive home would have to be a better home for them than my home. With both of them, I had absolutely no doubt that I was the best home for them. Jasper because of his very sensitive nature and his bond with me and Danny because he needed the kind of exercise and training that I was willing to commit to.

Good luck with Joseph and your very difficult decision.
 

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He is beautiful and is lucky to have you as his foster family!

The deciding factor for my adopting both Jasper and Daniel was that the adoptive home would have to be a better home for them than my home. With both of them, I had absolutely no doubt that I was the best home for them. Jasper because of his very sensitive nature and his bond with me and Danny because he needed the kind of exercise and training that I was willing to commit to.

Good luck with Joseph and your very difficult decision.
This is my measuring stick too. Bless you for taking in a hard case and working with him, his life is better because of you, it's all too possible he would not be here without you.

I am acquainted with fosters who feel pressured to adopt a foster dog because it will be hard to find a new home because the dog has special needs in one form or another. I always feel bad for those fosters because they put in so much effort and work with the "broken" babies, I feel like they should be able to choose to a dog they want who has all the characteristics they prefer, not feel forced to keep a dog who has issues that may not be their ideal dog.

I hope that makes sense. I'm not saying that's where you are in this situation, I know you love Joseph and want the best for him. As you said, there is the right home for him out there and if it is yours, you both win.
 

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I hope to try my paw at fostering a golden some day, and unless i have a golden puppy of my own, i may end up adopting. I got my current dog right now when a friend was fostering her, and i visited often and fell in love with her and had to take her home with me :p Thats how i ended up with a pit mix instead of the lab or golden i had wanted as a first breed haha
 

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Discussion Starter #12
This is my measuring stick too. Bless you for taking in a hard case and working with him, his life is better because of you, it's all too possible he would not be here without you.

I am acquainted with fosters who feel pressured to adopt a foster dog because it will be hard to find a new home because the dog has special needs in one form or another. I always feel bad for those fosters because they put in so much effort and work with the "broken" babies, I feel like they should be able to choose to a dog they want who has all the characteristics they prefer, not feel forced to keep a dog who has issues that may not be their ideal dog.

I hope that makes sense. I'm not saying that's where you are in this situation, I know you love Joseph and want the best for him. As you said, there is the right home for him out there and if it is yours, you both win.
Thank you! It makes perfect sense and that is where we are right now. We MAY be Joseph's ONLY hope at the life he deserves. We may be 'forced' by circumstance - to give him a home for life - whether we adopt or keep him as a 'permanent foster', and I suppose we can only hope to get him to the point where we will be able to foster again.
So begs the question: what do foster homes do with the 'unadoptable' broken dogs? We take them in with the hope and promise of a better life for them, we owe it to them to keep that promise, and it is not an option to say - 'you are not good enough, you are not the dog I would choose, you are too much trouble - you have to go' and 'going' means 'dying' because I don't want you and no one else does either. It is just not a choice I could make.

I am a 'foster failure'- adopted my boy Charlie, a rescue with problems who had been abused and rehomed too many times, and had all but given up on the human race.Without a doubt - this adoption was 'meant to be' -it has been a fantastic journey with no regrets. So I do know that these 'broken dogs' can and do become fantastic friends and family members, and sometimes we don't get to choose 'who is family'.
 

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You could have been writing about our first "failure", Buddy. We ended up adopting him because his chances of adoption were 0. Our hope was that one day he would learn to enjoy life and just come to accept us and others. It took a LONG time, but we now ask, "where's our old Buddy?" He has totally turned around and is an amazing dog. Yes, he still has his quirks, but they are part of what makes him so special. He will still bark at some folks when they first come up, but usually accepts them and goes about his merry way. Some folks, like his Aunt Ava who has seen and helped him through this process, he adores and will go to them for attention. He pouts for about a week when someone new comes in, but then seems to realize that he is still going to get his share of loving and food/treats/toys and goes back to being "Buddy".

It sounds like you have been on this journey before with Charlie and that YOU are Joseph's right family, even it means you are at your max. You obviously have the right "touch" and patience. And you're absolutely right, sometimes we don't get to choose 'who is family', but I believe God has a hand in leading someone to you and there was a reason behind Joseph being placed with you.

Good luck with your decision and I hope to be reading soon that Joseph has found his forever home; if it is with you, I think he will be very happy and will reward you over and over with his undying love.
 

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Thank you! It makes perfect sense and that is where we are right now. We MAY be Joseph's ONLY hope at the life he deserves. We may be 'forced' by circumstance - to give him a home for life - whether we adopt or keep him as a 'permanent foster', and I suppose we can only hope to get him to the point where we will be able to foster again.
So begs the question: what do foster homes do with the 'unadoptable' broken dogs? We take them in with the hope and promise of a better life for them, we owe it to them to keep that promise, and it is not an option to say - 'you are not good enough, you are not the dog I would choose, you are too much trouble - you have to go' and 'going' means 'dying' because I don't want you and no one else does either. It is just not a choice I could make.

I am a 'foster failure'- adopted my boy Charlie, a rescue with problems who had been abused and rehomed too many times, and had all but given up on the human race. Without a doubt - this adoption was 'meant to be' -it has been a fantastic journey with no regrets. So I do know that these 'broken dogs' can and do become fantastic friends and family members, and sometimes we don't get to choose 'who is family'.
It's not a choice I could make either. Like you have experienced with Charlie, sometimes the perfect home is the foster home and they do become wonderful family members. I don't think that's bad! I just want the dog and the people to be happy!
 

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I was recently in this position. I had been fostering a very shut down puppy mill breeder mama (Izzie) who aside from going to the bathroom and eating, lived a life as a statue--no spark in the eyes. I'm set to transfer to Alabama for another assignment this Summer and I was beginning to get worried that the "perfect" home for her did not exist. She had been with the rescue for over a year and I was her 2nd foster of nearly 8 mos. While the rescue was set to provide her another foster home upon my departure, I wanted to ensure she wasn't going to a home to be "managed"...I wanted her to continue to blossom. In the meantime, I picked up a temp foster over the holidays, who was set to become golden #2 (Sam) in the family. My own golden is also out of a puppy mill and while she's come a long way, she's not without her own baggage which is why I wasn't looking to add another mill girl permanently. Sam on the other hand aside from some minor issues is "normal". Although it was a tough & emotional decision, I was prepared to let Sam go in order to provide a furever home for Izzie and then as fate would have it, a retired couple came along who already have their "normal" pups and were head over heels in love with Izzie, didn't see her as "damaged goodgs" and were prepared to continue the journey. Izzie's mom contacted DVGRR who has provided a wealth of resources with the rehabilitation process. I couldn't have created a more perfect family. I don't envy your position.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Adopted!!

We have decided to give Joseph his forever home. I think he 'knew' it all along, from the moment he stepped from his transport crate, he put his life in our hands, he did not react to us, he did not bark or run away - he came to us for the love he so desperately needed. He put his trust in us, and bonded with his foster dad, and has made some huge strides in coping with the 'real world'.
It is these 'special needs' dogs that rip your heart out, that take every bit of patience, understanding and love that you can give them, and return it a thousand fold. Having been through this process with my boy Charlie, I absolutely know the 'honor' of being 'chosen', trusted, by a fearful dog - a 'gift' beyond measure and betraying that trust is not an option.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have fostered,(and will do it again, when the time is right) and have a hand at saving lives, but the time has come to do the right thing for THIS dog, this rescue whose life was in limbo, and who has come to mean so much to us.

'Until there are none, rescue one.'
 

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That's wonderful news you adopted Joseph! Congratulations on being a "foster failure" again! :)
 

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Your post brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for adopting him.
 

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Congratulations Joseph, what a fantastic home you chose for yourself.

Charliethree, thank you for caring so much and giving him a wonderful future.
 
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