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Discussion Starter · #61 ·
I'm sorry for your loss 😢 I just read through the thread today from the beginning and was feeling extremely positive that Jaxon was going to be fine and going strong until your post that he has passed... Even so, all the words written in this thread touched my heart and served as a learning process for me. I thank you and Jaxon for sharing this experience and giving me time today to reflect and appreciate the special moments my golden retriever has given me so far.. And most importantly to cherish them... Rest in peace Jaxon....
Thank you! Cherish every day ❤
 

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Discussion Starter · #63 ·
I'm truly sorry to hear about Jason's passing but I think you handled it just right. Making the most of those 65 days was the best thing for both of you.
Thank you, I needed to hear that. After he passed I naturally cried and felt very sad but I also realized that I have spent these past 65 days loving him, spoiling him but also grieving, waiting for the storm to come and a little fearful of how everything would play out in the end. I’m so thankful we were here to help him transition. I have no doubt he felt safe in my arms. It’s just going to take time to heal. He definitely took a piece of our heart with him, but we know they always do 💔
 

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I am so sorry. As terrible as these things go it sounds like you gave Jackson the best scenario possible.
 
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Discussion Starter · #69 ·
I'm so sorry for your loss, but so happy you and your partner got those 65 "bonus" days with your handsome boy. Sending hugs and peace for your hearts 🕊🐾💕
Thanks so much MushyB
I am so sorry. As terrible as these things go it sounds like you gave Jackson the best scenario possible.
thank you cwag, I want to think so.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you could be with him - he would have felt comfort from that.
 

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I was thinking of you and Jaxon just a few days ago. And then- your post. I was was so apprehensive to read. What you described was the most loving graceful passing. Jaxson was so lucky to have you as his parents. He had a life WELL LIVED. You let Jaxon tell you and gave him his final permission. You listened to your heart and love for him and you "knew". The pain and void they leave behind is crushing. Wishing you lots of care and peace during this difficult time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #72 ·
I was thinking of you and Jaxon just a few days ago. And then- your post. I was was so apprehensive to read. What you described was the most loving graceful passing. Jaxson was so lucky to have you as his parents. He had a life WELL LIVED. You let Jaxon tell you and gave him his final permission. You listened to your heart and love for him and you "knew". The pain and void they leave behind is crushing. Wishing you lots of care and peace during this difficult time.
Thank you so much for those words. I hope he knew we did all we could to help him. Today was the first time in over 10 years I left for work without saying “have a good day boy. I love you”. Dreading going home since he will not be there to greet me with a shoe, a toy, etc. All those “first” are especially hard. His leash and harness hang by the door and now his collar & tags hang there with them. I thought maybe I should put all his things away but for now I can’t. Emotionally too raw.
 

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Thank you so much for those words. I hope he knew we did all we could to help him. Today was the first time in over 10 years I left for work without saying “have a good day boy. I love you”. Dreading going home since he will not be there to greet me with a shoe, a toy, etc. All those “first” are especially hard. His leash and harness hang by the door and now his collar & tags hang there with them. I thought maybe I should put all his things away but for now I can’t. Emotionally too raw.
Totally understand and empathize ten fold with you . Only those who have loved and lost and walked this walk understand. No words can really help right now. This is you and your partners path to take. I will say - it does get easier with time -
Lots of time. Nothing is wrong at this point. Baileys toys are still in his basket next to my side of the bed and it’s been eight months. I find with all my dogs that pass there are steps that I can release items. The food and shampoos go first to a rescue. (I kept filling his water dish for at least a week). Slowly I can put his bed and bowls away. We cry a lot and each time it brings us back to why we love them so much. Then the memories will soon bring smiles and laughter. I make a scrapbook of photos and anecdotes during my grief process that seems to bring some comfort. My heart is with you❣…………..You knew -
Jaxson knew…………….Please never doubt yourself (although we all do when we are hurting ) You gave him permission to run free and that was truly the most generous act of all. XO
 

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Discussion Starter · #74 ·
Totally understand and empathize ten fold with you . Only those who have loved and lost and walked this walk understand. No words can really help right now. This is you and your partners path to take. I will say - it does get easier with time -
Lots of time. Nothing is wrong at this point. Baileys toys are still in his basket next to my side of the bed and it’s been eight months. I find with all my dogs that pass there are steps that I can release items. The food and shampoos go first to a rescue. (I kept filling his water dish for at least a week). Slowly I can put his bed and bowls away. We cry a lot and each time it brings us back to why we love them so much. Then the memories will soon bring smiles and laughter. I make a scrapbook of photos and anecdotes during my grief process that seems to bring some comfort. My heart is with you❣…………..You knew -
Jaxson knew…………….Please never doubt yourself (although we all do when we are hurting ) You gave him permission to run free and that was truly the most generous act of all. XO
Thank you for sharing this with me. It helps to know that what I’m feeling is normal. Walking in from work today was as bad as I expected but that’s one day behind me. Every time I walk into the kitchen my eyes naturally check Jaxons water bowl. The scrapbook is a good idea. I will leave jaxons toys, leashes, etc… where they are for now and know it’s ok. There’s no doubt Bailey was a very special boy and loved so, so much ❤
 

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I'm so sorry to hear about your Jaxson. It sounds like his final days were just about perfect and he left on his terms after hearing you give permission.

Please give yourself time and don't put his things away until you feel ready. A confession: I still have my heart-and-soul dog's collar hanging in the closet and I touch it every time I reach in to get Chumlee's leash - and she's been gone almost 25 years! I still use leashes that belong to my Bridge dogs because it feels so good to keep that connection and feel like they are still part of my everyday life.

And if I were in your shoes, I definitely, definitely would still say out loud,
“have a good day boy. I love you”.
Every. Single. Day.
Nothing wrong with that. Wishing you peace. 💗
 

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Thank you. Im about to read the link that you shared. I really want Jaxon to pass here at home. The only problem I am finding is that most mobile vets that offer that service require a 24-48 hour notice. If he takes a turn for the worse and is obviously in pain, I can't let him suffer that long. At the same time, if I schedule it 24 hours from now and he is happy and pain free like he is right now, I would have trouble going thru with it. I have to figure that out.
He’s already been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Dogs don’t always show when they’re in pain. Most have a high pain tolerance, so he could be in pain and not show it. Please don’t wait until he shows he’s in a lot of pain. Prepare yourself now. Get ready to say goodbye in a few days. Then, give him a loving, dignified, and pain-free death. Keep him in your arms and constantly pet him. Tell him he’s a good dog. I truly understand what you’re going through.
Three weeks ago yesterday, I had to free my dog. Although I had her for several years, she became my comfort dog when I was diagnosed with incurable cancer last July. She just knew. Before, she was my husband’s dog. Within days after my diagnosis, she voluntarily became my dog. She was by my side every second. Letting her go was tragic. Since my diagnosis, I’ve thought about how I want to die: with dignity, respect, compassion, and without pain. When my love got to the point where she needed my help to move on, it was so hard. I loved and needed her, but I was determined to give her the death I want for myself.
She’s now in a wonderful place and getting everything ready for my arrival. She’ll be there to welcome Jaxon, too. Please give Jaxon a comfortable, loving, and dignified death. You won’t regret it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #77 ·
I'm so sorry to hear about your Jaxson. It sounds like his final days were just about perfect and he left on his terms after hearing you give permission.

Please give yourself time and don't put his things away until you feel ready. A confession: I still have my heart-and-soul dog's collar hanging in the closet and I touch it every time I reach in to get Chumlee's leash - and she's been gone almost 25 years! I still use leashes that belong to my Bridge dogs because it feels so good to keep that connection and feel like they are still part of my everyday life.

And if I were in your shoes, I definitely, definitely would still say out loud,
Every. Single. Day.
Nothing wrong with that. Wishing you peace. 💗
Thanks for all of that. Today has been a harder day for some reason so I needed This. ❤
 

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Discussion Starter · #78 · (Edited)
Right now I feel such a range of emotions...... sad, angry, confused, guilty, etc... We lost our sweet Jaxon May 12. Instead of going with my gut feeling and burying him in the backyard, we opted to have him cremated. We are in our 60's now and not sure we could dig a 4 ft. deep hole thru all the rock we have here. In hind site I could have hired someone to do it for us.

When we dropped off Jaxon on May 12 at our Vets office, they said the cremation company would pick him up that day. They asked if we wanted his ashes back and we said yes and paid the charge for getting the ashes returned. We were told 5-10 days. Tomorrow will be 21 days. We made 2-3 calls over the past 3 weeks and got the "should be any day now" from the office. I just went by the Vets office in person to find out why we still had not been notified that he was ready for us to pick up. The tech made a call to the cremation company. She said that he was actually out on the delivery truck and would be delivered to the office sometime today. Maybe Im wrong but I think they got confused, cremated my boy and disposed of his ashes. My guess is that they are going to find some ashes to throw in a box and drop off at the Vets office.. I don't think I can ever feel like I have Jaxon back home with us. Theres no way I will ever know for sure. The thought of his ashes just being thrown in a dumpster kills me.
 

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Oh my goodness! This is unacceptable and so tragic! I had a similar situation 20 years ago with our first golden, Carmen.
She had cancer in her snout and lived about 6 months after the diagnosis. When we decided that she had had enough, we needed to let her go and the vet's office "forgot" to have her picked up in a timely manner and they kept her in a freezer for several days. I was so upset and was I was livid! They finally got in contact with the cremation people and got it worked out and within a week we got her ashes. But I do remember the anguish and upset that caused and so I can certainly understand your anger. It is something that will stay with you, but regardless, you did what is right for Jaxon, and he is now running free! I absolutely believe in the rainbow bridge, and know that doggy heaven is where all four of my goldens are running around together. It brings me some peace.

When the day comes that you can talk about him and laugh, you may be able to bring new golden love into your life. We've had to do that so many times in the past 20+ years. It never goes away, but a new love helps. Our Jackson is our current big guy, and I hope we have him for many many years to come. He's not quite 17 months old, and will be a big brother in 2 more weeks when we travel to Wisconsin to pick up our new little puppy. And yes, we know that one day we will need to face the pain of loosing them but they give so much to our lives that it's (almost!) worth the pain.

Best wishes to you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #80 ·
Oh my goodness! This is unacceptable and so tragic! I had a similar situation 20 years ago with our first golden, Carmen.
She had cancer in her snout and lived about 6 months after the diagnosis. When we decided that she had had enough, we needed to let her go and the vet's office "forgot" to have her picked up in a timely manner and they kept her in a freezer for several days. I was so upset and was I was livid! They finally got in contact with the cremation people and got it worked out and within a week we got her ashes. But I do remember the anguish and upset that caused and so I can certainly understand your anger. It is something that will stay with you, but regardless, you did what is right for Jaxon, and he is now running free! I absolutely believe in the rainbow bridge, and know that doggy heaven is where all four of my goldens are running around together. It brings me some peace.

When the day comes that you can talk about him and laugh, you may be able to bring new golden love into your life. We've had to do that so many times in the past 20+ years. It never goes away, but a new love helps. Our Jackson is our current big guy, and I hope we have him for many many years to come. He's not quite 17 months old, and will be a big brother in 2 more weeks when we travel to Wisconsin to pick up our new little puppy. And yes, we know that one day we will need to face the pain of loosing them but they give so much to our lives that it's (almost!) worth the pain.

Best wishes to you!
I’m sorry you have lost so many but I know they were all loved so much! That’s obvious. Congratulations on the new family member! ❤ I find myself looking at golden puppies online and researching some breeders. It’s only been 3 weeks so we have to make sure that we are not just trying to get jaxon back by getting a pup.💔
 
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