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People so often say "You'll know when it is time." I wish that were true, but I have the hardest time. With some dogs, I've kept trying to deep them alive, and regretted making their last days miserable. With others, I've made the decision to let them go while they were still able to enjoy their last day and then wondered If I had jumped the gun too soon.

All I can tell you is that I have most regretted the times I tried too hard to keep them alive. Better to let them go a week early than a day late. I've been fortunate in never having to make the decision to euthanize a dog under anesthesia at the vets. That would be horrible. I believe I would have done what you did and brought him home. I always want to be with my dogs when they go, preferably at home.

I'd make the appointment with the mobile vet, even if there is a risk that he could become critical before the appointment. If you think the risk is too high, find a vet that will yet you be with him when he goes.

It's the worst thing about having a dog you love.

Kelly
 

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Bailey was a lucky boy to be so loved. "Our decision was based on the biggest fact - He would not ever get better,...". That hit home. We had such a wonderful day today with Jaxon. He had a great appetite and brought me Simba (one of his 999 stuffed animals) to play take away. He even let us know that he was ready for a walk this afternoon. He seem so much like himself today that it would be easy for me to slip into denial and think he might get better. I had to have a reality check and remind myself that he will never get better. The tumor/cancer is not going to magically disappear. But just being able to spend today with him and seeing him enjoy life meant so much. We may never get another day like today but I am so thankful at least we had today.
You and Jaxon are in my thoughts. It is such a gut punch to the soul. My Vet once said " if only LOVE could keep them alive, they would live forever" With that said Jaxson will live forever at least in your heart and mind. Just keep doing what you are doing and enjoy every minute. When the time is right may you find peace with the decision. He must be an amazing boy.
 

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Thank you for sharing your experience. I had to read it thru tears. I've told Jaxon that we will be ok so he can go when he is ready. what I didn't tell him was how our lives will always feel a void without him here. Who will greet me at the door with a toy in his mouth when I get home from work? Who will sense when Im feeling down and come cuddle with me? I can't imagine ever going thru this again but I also can't imagine not having a Golden to share our lives with. I wouldn't know how to live in a house without Golden hair floating around 😊

Im reminded of that Garth Brooks song "the dance" where it says........ "I could have missed the pain but I would have missed the dance". The pain is real but I would not trade anything for the 10 years Ive had the joy of dancing with Jaxon 💔
And I also got teary reading your reply. It's such a sad time to go through, and I so clearly remember those moments when I would have to leave my dog in the morning and not know if she would still be alive when I got home (I had a dogwalker and it was such a relief everyday when I would know she had come and gone and I didn't have a phone call from her with bad news). She wasn't suffering, but she was very sick. And I was very afraid that because we were so connected, that she would struggle to hold on if I wasn't home. Thankfully, that didn't happen.

When she did let me know (there was just a look in her eye, and she had done something the night before which suggested to me that she was saying goodbye to her surroundings), my vet could not have been more caring. They carried her gently inside and I had all the time I needed (and I needed a lot). They sedated her so that she was not in pain, and I sat with her for a good hour before I could bear to let her go. And after I did, they let me sit with her for a couple more hours. I just couldn't leave her. When I finally did, they told me not to worry about payments or anything that day, and my vet walked me out to my car and hugged me. They called me the next day to see how I was doing and they kept her at the vet until I had decided what I was going to do in terms of burial or cremation. I felt so grateful to them. It was the saddest day but it could not have been better or more peaceful. I hope you have the same experience when it is Jaxson's time. I do believe he will let you know. You might still feel guilty and question the decision (I did), but hopefully you will know you did the best thing for this sweet soul who you loved so much.
 
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We had to have our senior lab girl put down on December 29th. I did not have the experience of just knowing it was time, and I evaluated based on her condition and ability to enjoy the things she had loved. We were able to schedule a vet who came to our house, and I'm glad she could be home with us. Bailey had become scared of going to the vet in her last few years and I wanted her to be able to be as comfortable as I could make her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #26 ·
I'm so sorry. Its obvious you loved Bailey very much! I totally understand where you are coming from. Jaxon gets anxious when we go to the vet. I want Jason @ home but most vets that offer that service require a 24-48 hour notice. I just have to believe it will work out. I just know I'm not going to let Jaxon suffer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
And I also got teary reading your reply. It's such a sad time to go through, and I so clearly remember those moments when I would have to leave my dog in the morning and not know if she would still be alive when I got home (I had a dogwalker and it was such a relief everyday when I would know she had come and gone and I didn't have a phone call from her with bad news). She wasn't suffering, but she was very sick. And I was very afraid that because we were so connected, that she would struggle to hold on if I wasn't home. Thankfully, that didn't happen.

When she did let me know (there was just a look in her eye, and she had done something the night before which suggested to me that she was saying goodbye to her surroundings), my vet could not have been more caring. They carried her gently inside and I had all the time I needed (and I needed a lot). They sedated her so that she was not in pain, and I sat with her for a good hour before I could bear to let her go. And after I did, they let me sit with her for a couple more hours. I just couldn't leave her. When I finally did, they told me not to worry about payments or anything that day, and my vet walked me out to my car and hugged me. They called me the next day to see how I was doing and they kept her at the vet until I had decided what I was going to do in terms of burial or cremation. I felt so grateful to them. It was the saddest day but it could not have been better or more peaceful. I hope you have the same experience when it is Jaxson's time. I do believe he will let you know. You might still feel guilty and question the decision (I did), but hopefully you will know you did the best thing for this sweet soul who you loved so much.
Isnt it amazing how much they can tell us thru their eyes. I love that saying "if you don't believe dogs have souls, you haven't looked into their eyes long enough". It sounds like your vet is a very compassionate and caring person. What a gift! When we picked up Jaxon on Tuesday from the Specialist to bring him home, instead of allowing them to put him down, I called from the parking lot to let them know we were outside (we weren't allowed inside). The first thing they said to me was that they needed to get my payment for the balance.
 

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My girl Tawny had "the look" when it was time for her to go. Its not always clear but with her it was. I called it an I'm done look. Her back legs had quit working completely. When I called the vet he actually answered the phone and I sobbed out that it was time. He was so sweet and said he would come by in a few hours after my adult kids had a chance to come say bye. We fed her a bunch of zucchini bread. It was as peaceful and as good as possible and I never second guessed it with her. He never mentioned payment and when I did he said just wait, we'll send something later. Just typing this out has caused a whole torrent of tears to pour down my face. It's just always gonna be hard no matter the circumstances.
 

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We found out from an Ultrasound that our almost 10 year old Jaxon has a tumor on his left kidney. The only sign we had was noticing how much more water he was drinking. We took him to a Specialist yesterday and had more blood work and a CAT scan done. She called me to tell me that he was having some internal bleeding so surgery was not an option. She really wanted us to let them put him down while he was under anesthesia. I had minutes to make a decision. He was fine when we dropped him off so we had no idea there was the possibility we would not see him alive again. I made the best decision I could. I told her not to euthanize him. We where not allowed in the building due to Covid so we could not see him or be with him when he passed. I could not live with that. I told her we wanted him to be in our (his) home where he feels safe when transitiones and we can be holding him and loving him when it happened. Today he is eating and drinking and acting like himself. I know there's no hope of him surviving this and every second we have with him now is such a gift. i do not want him in distress or suffering. When he passes, I want him to be at peace. I need to remember him that way. I just don't know when to say it's time. I've always heard they will let you know because they will stop eating and drinking. My gut feeling is that doing it too soon would be better for him than doing it too late but its hard to imagine doing it when he is acting like a healthy dog. Any words of wisdom?
It has now been seven months since we lost our beautiful, beloved eleven -year- old golden girl Savannah to osteosarcoma that started in her left front leg. We went through surgery and then chemotherapy keeping her alive for eighteen months. At the time we were doing the treatment we thought it was best for Savannah but now I really believe we were selfish and kept her alive for us. The cancer spread to her liver after surgery, and with much grief we bid her farewell. My advice is, without going into much detail is as you monitor Jaxon daily, he will let you know when it is time to say goodbye. Give Jaxon a big hug for all of us. Bless you.
 

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I’m not sure if this has been mentioned but if you have an animal hospice in your area please give them a call. We had the same situation with our Angel Maddie. Hospice put her on yunnan baiyao to help with the internal bleeding. She had 3 good weeks eating whatever she wanted. She told us when it was time by isolating herself and not drinking.
Hospice came that day and we had a peaceful goodbye. I’m sure Maddie and Jaxon will get along great when they see each other.
 

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We found out from an Ultrasound that our almost 10 year old Jaxon has a tumor on his left kidney. The only sign we had was noticing how much more water he was drinking. We took him to a Specialist yesterday and had more blood work and a CAT scan done. She called me to tell me that he was having some internal bleeding so surgery was not an option. She really wanted us to let them put him down while he was under anesthesia. I had minutes to make a decision. He was fine when we dropped him off so we had no idea there was the possibility we would not see him alive again. I made the best decision I could. I told her not to euthanize him. We where not allowed in the building due to Covid so we could not see him or be with him when he passed. I could not live with that. I told her we wanted him to be in our (his) home where he feels safe when transitiones and we can be holding him and loving him when it happened. Today he is eating and drinking and acting like himself. I know there's no hope of him surviving this and every second we have with him now is such a gift. i do not want him in distress or suffering. When he passes, I want him to be at peace. I need to remember him that way. I just don't know when to say it's time. I've always heard they will let you know because they will stop eating and drinking. My gut feeling is that doing it too soon would be better for him than doing it too late but its hard to imagine doing it when he is acting like a healthy dog. Any words of wisdom?
I do hope that you have gotten a second opinion. There are several things that you have mentioned that don't make sense to me. No, I am nit a vet but an R.N and a nephrectomy patient myself. My M. D. made more than one mistake in my diagnosis. Good luck to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #32 ·
Thank you. So sorry about Maddie. I know she was well loved ❤ When we left the specialty hospital after getting the bad news last week, they sent us home with a days worth of yunnan baiyao for the bleeding. I was not familiar with it. We checked with our vet about getting a prescription for more but he said he wasn’t real into herbs so didn’t really recommend it. He was willing to give us a prescription but we just trusted his opinion. I’m sure it’s like dealing with medical doctors, they all have differing opinions. Reading this makes me wish we were still giving it to him. We have had a wonderful week with him but of course would love as many days as we can get. I have to catch myself because he acts normal and looks normal, I find myself pretending everything is still normal. Then I have to come back to reality 🥲
 

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Hello there. I just lost my beloved "Chance" a little over a week ago. Even my vet said, "he is a one in a million dog", and of course I couldn't agree more. Oh my goodness do I miss him. But he lived a long life, and knew it was time. Chance walked outside, and just sat down, looked at us with the "I have had enough" look. We carried him to the car, and took him to the vet. We were with him to the end, and it was all very peaceful.
Like many, we have been through this multiple times, and it never gets easier. Each time, we knew our dog was ill, and time was short, so we gave them the best life we could, keeping them going as long as we could, but stayed on top of their condition so they never suffered.
(Quite honestly, we should be so compassionate to our human loved ones!)
So sorry for your loss; I am there with you. Such as very sad time.
 

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It’s a heart wrenching experience for us leading up to making a decision like this. Nobody wants to play God and have to make that call. If it’s feasible I would get a second opinion to rule out any doubts. I did. Maybe a little different set of circumstances for you however we wanted to make double sure our girl was truly in renal failure. Although she eventually succumbed to this terrible disease she squeezed every day she could until she would no longer eat. That is when we knew it was time. I don’t know all your circumstances or the effects the tumor has, or if that would cause pain. Renal failure I’m told isn’t painful like other sinister aliments can be. Towards the end we got creative and fed her whatever she wanted and she was happy. When she stopped eating altogether that was her signal to us. We had the vet come to our home and it was most peaceful for her yet incredibly sad to see her go after 14 years.
It was the right thing to do.
 

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I’m so so sorry for you and your Jaxon. I lost my golden very suddenly in January, and struggled with the same questions. As some folks have suggested, you may not have to choose between saying goodbye at-home or at the vet, if they’re both willing. I brought my Abby into the vet on a Monday morning, where they diagnosed her with pericardial effusion, and advanced hemangiosarcoma (a tumor on her heart burst). There were no earlier signs - I was stunned, as you were.

Given the prognosis, we decided not to drain the fluid, which gave her days (at most). They let me bring her home and schedule an appointment with “Lap of Love” (a hospice service in our area that also does in-home euthanasia). But they also said I was welcome to come back into the vet at anytime if she deteriorated rapidly before the at-home appointment, and they would put us at the top of the priority list. And they gave us contacts for emergency vets in the area, and promised to call ahead and let them know to possibly expect us if she made it through the day to closing time. I felt more comfortable making the at-home appointment, knowing that if things got bad in the meantime, we had good alternatives and she wouldn’t suffer.

And it was really hard making that appointment, because she was her happy joyful rambunctious self even as I made the phone call - and that never stopped, even to the very end, even as her body failed her, her spirit did not. Which while wonderful for her (isn’t that what we all want for our dogs?), made it so much harder for me, to say goodbye.

Good luck with your sweet Jaxon and I know you’ll make the decision that’s right for him and for you. Everyone here has you in our thoughts and hearts. <3
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
It’s a heart wrenching experience for us leading up to making a decision like this. Nobody wants to play God and have to make that call. If it’s feasible I would get a second opinion to rule out any doubts. I did. Maybe a little different set of circumstances for you however we wanted to make double sure our girl was truly in renal failure. Although she eventually succumbed to this terrible disease she squeezed every day she could until she would no longer eat. That is when we knew it was time. I don’t know all your circumstances or the effects the tumor has, or if that would cause pain. Renal failure I’m told isn’t painful like other sinister aliments can be. Towards the end we got creative and fed her whatever she wanted and she was happy. When she stopped eating altogether that was her signal to us. We had the vet come to our home and it was most peaceful for her yet incredibly sad to see her go after 14 years.
It was the right thing to do.
So sorry for the loss of your girl. heart wrenching is right! :cry: Jaxon still loves to eat so he gets scrambled eggs for breakfast and a little serving of Blue Bell ice cream before bedtime 😊
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
I’m so so sorry for you and your Jaxon. I lost my golden very suddenly in January, and struggled with the same questions. As some folks have suggested, you may not have to choose between saying goodbye at-home or at the vet, if they’re both willing. I brought my Abby into the vet on a Monday morning, where they diagnosed her with pericardial effusion, and advanced hemangiosarcoma (a tumor on her heart burst). There were no earlier signs - I was stunned, as you were.

Given the prognosis, we decided not to drain the fluid, which gave her days (at most). They let me bring her home and schedule an appointment with “Lap of Love” (a hospice service in our area that also does in-home euthanasia). But they also said I was welcome to come back into the vet at anytime if she deteriorated rapidly before the at-home appointment, and they would put us at the top of the priority list. And they gave us contacts for emergency vets in the area, and promised to call ahead and let them know to possibly expect us if she made it through the day to closing time. I felt more comfortable making the at-home appointment, knowing that if things got bad in the meantime, we had good alternatives and she wouldn’t suffer.

And it was really hard making that appointment, because she was her happy joyful rambunctious self even as I made the phone call - and that never stopped, even to the very end, even as her body failed her, her spirit did not. Which while wonderful for her (isn’t that what we all want for our dogs?), made it so much harder for me, to say goodbye.

Good luck with your sweet Jaxon and I know you’ll make the decision that’s right for him and for you. Everyone here has you in our thoughts and hearts. <3
Im so sorry. There's no doubt Abby was very loved. I reached out to a couple of friends that had their dogs put to sleep at home this past year. One of them also used "Lap of Love". When I called them to get information, they were very helpful and understanding. If we have the opportunity to do it here at the house like we would prefer, I will be using them. Like you, I feel less anxious knowing that we have our vet as a back up if needed. I understand completely what you mean about how difficult it would be to make that call and decision when they still look and act like they are not ready to go but you know if you wait, you may have to watch them suffer. If we had wanted to have surgery to remove the tumor, there was a good chance he would not have survived it. Even if he did, the best we could hope for would be a year. He would probably spend a good part of that year just trying to recover. We just didn't want to put him thru that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
I've had 3 Golides and had to decide for each when 'it's time'

"And it seems that I can often hear, time's winged chariot drawing near."

I only know one thing - Love them like crazy and be thankful for every minute you get to spend together.
So true! We are cherishing every moment of the time we have left to show Jaxon how much we love him.
 
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