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Discussion Starter #1
I lost Chance 5 months ago. I still cry every single day for him. I feel off balance and lost. I miss him so much and still can’t believe that I’ll never see him again, touch him again, tell him I love him again...:crying:

I’ve accepted that this is my new “normal” and that my heart will be broken forever, but when will I be able to remember him with a smile instead of tears? I just want him back...
 

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I'm so sorry you're feeling sad, I know exactly how you feel. It took me a long time to accept losing my boy, gradually I started to smile thinking about him and all the things he did that made me happy. What helped me enormously was to keep talking and posting about him. Little things here like entering The Photo Contest helped too.

We're all different and grieve in our own ways, I promise you will smile again, it's never going to be the same as it was when your precious Chance was here but you will carry on with his love and memories in your heart. Three and half years on I still cry too but that's what makes us normal, be kind to yourself, I'm sending you a hug.
 

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Sometimes I still cry for my Honeybear who's been gone 20 years. Not often and I can remember her and smile it just takes a long time and is different for everyone and every dog. I know a new dog will never replace Chance but it can help fill the emptiness. Have you thought about it at all? I went 4 years without a Golden after Tawny died because of circumstances and it became unbearable. I finally found away to make it happen. I am so sorry. Many of us know that extreme pain. I wish you peace.
 
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Kate
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Many years... even when you have other goldens who give you smiles and comfort.

I lost Jacks around the same time and my heart really hurts. I have tears coming down right now just thinking about him. <= And I'm not allowed to cry because Bertie doesn't like it. If I didn't have Bertie, I don't know what I'd do. :(

 

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I'm not sure the sense of loss ever does go away. But at some point it transforms into something that you can pack up and carry with you in your heart.



Duster came to me about a year after I lost Ruby, at a time when I was still angry at the universe for taking her away. I almost didn't get another dog. People who knew I was dogless offered wonderful pups but I could never quite bring myself to say "yes", and it was only when I decided to break a lifelong habit and get a male dog instead of a female that I gathered up enough courage to move forward. I'm glad I did. Duster is about as different from Ruby as it's possible to be, and he's been exactly the right dog to bring me back to life. I'm not tempted to compare him to Ruby, and have been able to give him the place he deserves in my life and my heart.


I still haven't unpacked the wooden box containing Ruby's ashes, but I will, one day soon. Perhaps next month, on the fourth anniversary of her death. Or perhaps not.



There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
 

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Puddles
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I'm so sorry for the heartbreak. When I lost my 1st golden, Annie it was almost 20 yrs before I decided to try another golden. She was my world, my large oil company had adopted her as the company mascot and welcomed her on all our volunteer adventures. She was a therapy dog and came to work with me on our volunteer days. When she died there was a terrible hole at home & at work... then dropped from the therapy group which made it even worse.
When I lost my last girl Mollie a few years ago it was obvious at my age I didn't have another 20 yrs to mourn. My Sipsy was born the day I lost Mollie and took that as a sign :) I've never gotten a new pup so quickly after a loss but must admit because Sips was so sick there wasn't too much time to think about much else. I saw glimpses of Mollie in my Sipsy every day and was really surprised at how much it helped me move on. It's like she was still with me and helping me let her go. Both Mollie & Annie will always be in my heart but Sipsy was such a blessing.
I'm not advocating a new puppy, just sharing the pain we have all felt. Sipsy helped me find my smile and allowed me to remember without tears.
 

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Kristy
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I still can't believe Chance is gone.... you all have been such a fixture here for so long. I think it may be years till you can really smile over memories, or you may never honestly smile. It just will be that you are able to not cry. I think it is absolutely normal and ok to cry daily over this loss, it's major. But I do have some concern for you that it is approaching 6 months and you are still in tears daily. Are you able to get out of the house and participate in any of your hobbies or activities that normally make you feel happy? If not, getting some therapy or talking to a counselor may help. Depression is something that can take over sometimes and it is ok to get help to get some relief.

I have always had only one dog at a time in the past. The grief over the death of a special dog would be relentless for me until I brought home a new puppy to love and focus on the future with. I would grieve over the loss of the individual dog but I would also just be miserable living without a dog in my home. Dogs are an integral part of my life since day one.

Puddles' experience made me start thinking that sometimes grief becomes a part of your life and is hard to shake until you make a choice to focus on the future and make the most of the time you have left in this life with the love in your heart being shared. Have you considered that starting a new chapter might be a way to help your heart heal?

Please know that I am sorry for your heartbreak and don't expect you to stop missing Chance ever. But I don't like thinking that you are still crying daily. I hope you will start thinking of taking steps to get some help or maybe working on ideas of things that might help you feel happier.
 

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We're all different and grieve in our own ways, I promise you will smile again, it's never going to be the same as it was when your precious Chance was here but you will carry on with his love and memories in your heart. Three and half years on I still cry too but that's what makes us normal, be kind to yourself, I'm sending you a hug.
This is the best advice :)

It takes time; a different amount for everyone. On March 2 it will be 7 years since my heart-dog crossed Rainbow Bridge; I'll miss him every day until I meet him again. The anniversary of his passing isn't as painful as it was for the first year; many, many tears that day. But I will tell you that *every time* I think of my darling boy, I smile. I'm smiling even as I type this. The sadness will pass in time, and you'll have all the loving memories of your dear Chance, and you will smile.

I'm so sorry for your loss; I truly know how you feel, and I hope your heart feels peace soon. {{{hugs}}}}
 

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I can't believe it's already been 5 months since sweet Chance left us. Your long-time signature picture of Chance with little Lucy sitting on his back made me smile every single time I saw it.

I agree with the other posters - grief has no timeline, it's a very individual thing. I also hope that you are able to find joy in other parts of your life. Depression can sneak in if you don't take good care of yourself.

Please come here and talk about Chance often - he was and is a beloved part of the GRF family. Chance would want you to be happy. And how is dear Lucy??

When the time feels right, I think Chance will help to guide you to another dog to love.

Sending warm thoughts.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you so much everyone for your support. &#55357;&#56856; I doubt there will be another dog in my life. Chance was absolutely perfect for me. We were a team, beyond best friends. I can’t even come close to describing how special our bond was. I’m sure everyone here knows what I mean. I quit thinking of Chance as being a dog many, many years ago. He was my companion, my balance, my light. He was my world.

Lucy is doing well. She became my daughter’s ESA almost 2 years ago. They moved to Seattle this past September, 1 week before Chance passed. I almost asked for her back, but she loves my daughter so much and my daughter feels the same way toward Lucy. They are virtually inseparable. I included a picture from Christmas.

Again, thanks everyone for your support.
 

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Ouch! I'm so sorry for your loss of Chance. Trust me, I do know how it feels. We lost our gentle giant, River 12/15/18. It was hard to breathe for days. The hole these amazing dogs leave in our hearts when they pass is really hard to get past.

We also lost our 15-year-old cat, Sven during this past Memorial Day weekend. Sven was really my wife's cat, but she loved me too. A few months after losing Sven, my wife decided she wanted to get another cat. In time, we found a rescue kitten in our local shelter, so we adopted Bella, and brought her home. Immediately, the atmosphere in our home changed from sadness to total joy. Having a kitten put smiles on both of our faces as soon as she grabbed our hearts.

Fast forward to 12/15/18...After an eight-month battle with cancer, we had to put our Golden, River down. Oh man...That was a really bad day for me because River was my dog from day one. I swear, River hung on every word I said, or at least he made me feel like he did. :) Like your Chance, I felt River was the finest dog anyone could ever want. Then, at age 11, he was gone...I couldn't talk about him withing breaking down. I had such a huge hole in my heart. Like you, I felt like I never wanted another dog again. The pain of losing them is almost too much to bear.

Then, after discussing with my wife, we realized how much joy Bella brought back into our home and lives. So, we decided to begin the search for another Golden Retriever pup. I fully realize a new pup will never replace River. We almost decided to get a different breed simply because of the concerns that we might always be comparing the new pup to River. Then again, Goldens do have such an amazing personality that in all honesty, I don't think another breed could ever come close to the love a Golden can give. So, we decided to get another Golden puppy.

As soon as we began our search, my feeling of loss soon began to ease as each day passed. Just yesterday, we selected our new puppy from a litter of nine pups. We get to bring our new pup, Brody home next weekend. Smiles are back on our faces now and while we will always have a special place in our hearts for River, we're both excited about having a puppy in our home and lives again.

I realize each person, just like each dog is different. I only share this story with you to let you know that once you smell the fresh scent of puppy breath again, your pain and feeling of loss and despair can, and will ease. Likewise, when you consider the years of joy your Chance gave to you, well, for us, as painful as the experience of losing River was, we feel the years of love and joy he provided out weights the pain we experience when we have to say goodbye.

You will know when the time is right for you. Don't give up on the thought of a new pup or dog. Think of how great a life you gave to Chance. There is another puppy or dog out there that needs you in his/her life as much as Chance needed you. God Bless! Keep us posted on the future...
 

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I don’t think it goes away. I still get sad thinking about my lab who lead us to my golden we lost in April. And I still find myself sad when I see or hear certain things that remind me of her. I love my golden puppy (7 months) a whole heck of a lot but my first Golden was my heart dog. And I think it’s because she was my first golden. But I see so much of her in my puppy. I honestly joke that Stella is Ella reincarnated. People keep saying, “How could you go from an Ella to Stella? Doesn’t it make you sad?” Definitely not the same.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss of Chance. You’re right the grief doesn’t go away but it does change. It’s like waves in the ocean. Sometimes there are no waves and all of a sudden a wave comes out of nowhere. Then there are times they seem to come in sets one right after the other. Be gentle and kind to yourself and hopefully one day your wonderful memories of Chance will bring you a little bit of comfort.
 

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I lost my first dog way back in '56 an English setter pup i had gotten 5 months earlier for my 11th birthday Lost her to distemper. Since then I hve lost 6 English setters, 2 Irish setters, 6 golden retrievers, and 2 Great Pyrenees , the last was our Pyr Sir Moose on Dec. 5,2018 Each loss shattered my heart But it was always mended....a scar was left, but it was no longer in pieces It took a dog to mend it. Humans couldn't


I lost Honey 8-13-14 (adopted golden) to lymphoma at 13+ and then adoptee Pyrenees Shaggy at 7 to hemangiosarcomi 1 month & 10 days later on 9-23-14 We lost our last golden (adopted) also to hemangiosarco 10-12-16, just shy of 13 When we lost Sir Moose (adopted at 11 1/2 to liver disease on 12-05-18 I told hubby no more dogs We had lost 4 in just 4years 4 month My heart couldn't take another loss


Guess what! Jewel a 9 1/2 year old Pyrenees we adopts last weel from the Texas Pyr rescue wll be brought to us Sunday is our 3rd Pyr from then Nobody frond her to do home visits for the neatest golden rescues (all are 200 miles or more) so they will not let us adopt Our two adopted goldens..one came from a local all breed rescue, the other from her owner. Luckily there is a woman to do home visits in our small tow & the farms and ranches around here for the Pyr rescue
 
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5 months is a drop of time. Your grief is still fresh and new. I cried over Bear for months and month. I still get chocked up talking about him. Having Lana helps, cause I see so much of his joy in her; but she is different enough that it's not like I replaced him. We're like 20 months from when Bear died and I smile more than cry when I see his picture.

Be kind with yourself. I know it sounds silly but have you considered a pet loss support group? I went to a bunch after Bear died. It was cathartic. And supportive. I think it helped me work through my feelings so I could reach acceptance.
 
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Today was my day to smile....I lost Sophie 10 months ago (she was 11)..I miss her every day and every day she comes up in a conversation. Today we had a person in to give a quote on new flooring...he saw the chewed off section of baseboard in our living room. Someone must have been hungry he joked. I smiled to myself knowing my little girl had done it....12 years ago. I could never bring myself to fix it..i called it Sophie corner. It always will be Sophie corner but I have many wonderful memories and keepsakes. Will I cry tomorrow..maybe..but that's ok, she is in my heart and mind and always will be. And Chance will forever be in your heart and your memories. Hold tight and be kind to yourself. Pet grief sessions are very helpful, you can talk (if you want) and you can listen to others share their stories. In my case, it actually helped...i knew i wasn't alone. And coming here is the same...I never feel alone as long as I'm around the many golden lovers, who are also wonderful people, who come here. My thoughts for peace and comfort are with you.
 

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I am sorry to hear of your loss. We humans will always mourn our fur buddies. We live so much longer than them. So we will feel the loss many many times. Our hearts will break when we think of their passing.


As long as we keep them in our hears and think of them, they are never truly be gone from us. I still think of the silly girl I had, Eden who would always nudge the off driver in the car and then look away, as if to say it wasn't me. But I still want you to pet me. When my wife was driving Eden would nudge me constantly, unless I was sleeping. Silly girl dog.


Eden still lives in our mind and memories. We compare Paige to her every day.


As long as you remember Chance he is never gone. He is always with you in your heart. Just as my Eden is with me every day.
 

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Puddles
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My heart hurts for you :-( It takes as long as it takes, there is no magic formula for grieving and everyone does it in their own way & time.

But to answer your question "when do the tears turn to smiles" they answer is simple, when you let it. Nothing easy about the process but when you are ready to embrace all the love you have for Chance and open your heart .... the pain slowly fades into warm memories that will make you smile.

When the time is right for you another pup will find its way into your life. You will see certain special things that only Chance would do. That's Chance smiling at you! It won't be the same of course but once you take this leap the process of healing has begun.

I never thought another golden could warm my heart, but in many ways Sipsy is the best parts of my 3 heart dogs I've been blessed with over the years. I see them through her every day and just watching her makes me remember them and smile.

Everyone here has felt your pain and please know we support you during this process no matter how long it takes you to get through it. I'm pretty sure Chance is trying really hard to find a way to ease your sorrow so he can see you smile again. I have had some wonderful dogs over the years but must admit a golden doesn't just fill your heart, they find away into your soul.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
It was 6 months on Tuesday and I feel like I’m getting worse. I even had an animal communicator “read” Chance. Crazy, I know, but I will do anything to connect to him somehow. She was a coworker and offered to read him. I had wanted to do this so I said yes. Now I’m not so sure it was the right thing to do...

She said things that were nice, (he loves me and misses me), but then she also said that he said he doesn’t want to come back yet. She said he visits me all the time, but he’s happy where he is, (rainbow bridge), and that it’s okay to move on and I could get a dog. I can’t get by this. I love that he’s happy but at the same time it makes me feel even worse that he said it’s okay to move on. I don’t care about another dog. I don’t want to move on. I just want Chance back...:crying:

My brain tells me to take this with a grain of salt but my heart tells me something else. What do you guys think of animal communicators and have any of you used one?
 
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