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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello - hoping people can tell me if they experienced this: I got my new puppy at 12 weeks old and he has been with me for about 10 days. He could not care less about me despite everything I try with him. He gets very excited when he sees the daycare people, people on the street etc but with me he won't sit near me or show any affection. He is fine with me petting him etc but will not ever sit with me, rarely comes to me etc. I'm not sure I've even seen his tail wag at anything I've done with him yet. How long did it take your puppies to warm up? I have always wanted a golden because they are so loving and mine doesn't seem to have that classic personality and it's heartbreaking. Please let me know if you had this with yours and what I can try!
 

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Theo's mom :)
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That is so sad to hear. :(

Our Golden pup Theo licked my face for a good 30 seconds the first time I held him in my arms. He always gets excited when I talk to him or come near. He'd run to me when I step away. Overall, he is one very affectionate pup.

Do you pay a lot of attention to your pup? Have you tried training him, feeding him treats, playing with him, etc.?
 

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Mia was that way when I brought her home. I just figured she was getting use to everything. Pretty soon you will get your face licked off and have a lap dog. Mia won't leave me alone now and always has to be right by my side.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi Aleksa,

Yes, I'm tried everything. I'm really hoping he's still just adjusting but it's getting sad when I can't even get his tail to wag! Thanks you for taking the time to reply though - your pup is adorable!
 

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Mia is 2 now but I would say the first few weeks. She was just so busy being a puppy and getting into trouble she didn't have time for me. Now I can't watch TV with out her wanting to sit on my lap. I go outside, she has to go with. I can't take a bath without her throwing her ball in the water and wanting to play. Just get ready for a face licking, lap loving, and at times pesty golden.
 

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Theo's mom :)
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Hmm, I'm reading about that online and people seem to recommend taking puppy classes (if you aren't already) in order to bond with him. Apparently it takes some dogs time before they'd start showing their owner(s) affection... in their own way.
 

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Riley
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Zelda was pretty unaffectionate with me from about 8 weeks to 3 months. She wanted to be close to me, but she didn't want me to pet her or anything. There's just so many more cool things going on, and he sees you every day - you're not fun and exciting, you make rules. ;) I believe he'll warm up. Just give him time. Now, at 5 months, I can't get away from Z - she comes to the bathroom with me, searches the house when I "disappear", and sits on me ALL. THE. TIME. It will come!
 

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Kate
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I think probably the biggest thing to keep in mind - especially as you're asking this question.... you are going to get lots of different answers, because people raise the puppies differently (no daycare, more time at home, more experience as dog owners, etc).....

Biggest thing I have to ask is don't compare your dog to others - especially as this is your first pup and you are going to be learning with him. Enjoy the time you have and take every day with a good sense of humor.

My feeling is that with puppies that I bring home....

The first few weeks, what I'm looking for is a puppy will learn that my voice and hands mean good things. I'm not yelling or grabbing or holding too much. I jabber and play with the pups and keep my hands soft and let them come to me and go as they want. Sit on the floor so they can climb in my lap whenever they want without me having to pick them up (I rarely to never carry puppies). They learn that they can come for snuggles and won't have to squiggle and fight to get away.

What I hope to see is a pup who follows me around outside, comes to me when they are not sure about something, and puppy piles with me at night. Means they look to me as their pack leader.

With puppies like that, it means by the time they are 5-6 months old - they are forming that very strong "heart dog" bond with me. Meaning you could have exciting food or play related things going on around the house with other people, but the dogs are piled up under YOUR feet.

But THAT SAID..... not all pups are like that. We had a boy who right from the time he came home (6 weeks) was intent on running off and doing his own thing. Wanted to sleep under the bed. And about the only thing he did was come running when he wasn't sure about stuff. Everything else, according to him he was the man. :) Over time, he became more golden as far as worshipping the ground every family member walked on - even though, I don't think ever formed that very strong bond with anyone. If he did, his "heart dog" bond was with our other golden at the time. That dog was still very special.... one thing he did that neither my current boys do.... Danny had a way of just vibrating with excitement when you came home. He would wing his ears out, "smile" if he didn't have anything in his mouth, and he would run around making all kinds of "grr" noises because he was so happy to see you. And he would do this if you stepped outside for 5 minutes and came back in.

You will find over time your pup will love just fine and show his own personality his way.
 

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I know this must make you feel sad .
Can I ask you some questions ?
Are there any other people in your home ( Adults or children) ?
How much time are you with your puppy during the day ?
Where does he sleep at night?
Your puppy may be a very timid puppy, feeling a little insecure and may need
some extra coddling to make him feel comfortable in his new home.
Try playing with him very often. Participate in training classes.
Soon enough he will be your shadow giving you lots of sloppy kisses.
I see you are in Ct. I'm not far Dutchess County NY
Where did you get your puppy?
 

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Rocky, Golden Retriever.
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Give your puppy some time. Our previous Golden, Chewy, did not want pets for several months. We used to say, "Why doesn't Chewy want pets?" But she got over it and became very affectionate, and would follow us everywhere.
 

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My roommates lab, Bauer, was the same way at first. Your puppy could just have a more curious, independent personality. At about 3-4 months he started becoming more affectionate with both my roommate and I. Now he is fiercely attached to my roommate and though he does like to cuddle it's always on "his" terms! My Flynn on the other hand has been a snuggle bug since day one and although he is definitely a Velcro dog he does not have as intense of a bond with me as my roommate and Bauer. I honestly am not sure that Bauer would survive if he ever had to be rehomed for any reason, at the very least he would be severely depressed. In my non expert opinion I believe there are lots of different types of bonds that can develop and grow based on both your personality and your puppy's. Your bond may not look like any other bonds between puppy/dog and owner but I feel pretty confidant you will find it! Enjoy your puppy!!


Sent from Petguide.com App
 

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I sold a puppy many years ago who was my favorite in the litter. He was beautiful. He was the puppy that when I fed them, came over to me for petting before he ate.. His new owner called and said that they were not bonding with him(my words, not theirs). They had given him the run of the house and surprise surprise he was not house training... They interpreted behavior that he showed as not being into them... By example, taking him to baseball games and being insulted when he "turned his back" on them...seriously, he was just looking at something else...in any case, I offered to take him back at three months. They declined. I got him back at ten months. At that time, their complaint was that he was too affectionate... Oh well. Not passing judgment, just want to say that some things take time and flooding a golden puppy with too much info can make it turn off...
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. I think you are right and he is just taking his time and our bond will form in his time. You read about Goldens and that they are instant best friends but I'm sure each one is different and mine is likely very sensitive and we are still new to each other. Thank you again!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
It's just me and Jerry in the house and he has to spend the day at doggy day care. He seems to like it very much and is excited to go back but I see that it reduces our time together, especially at first. I got him from Wisteria Golden's and he had a long trip to CT. They were very kind at the breeders and I'm sure he misses it. Training classes are a great idea and we will start next weekend!
 

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Ashleigh
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i wanted to chime in that my golden boy was not very affectionate until he was about 4-5 months old. he was not a cuddle bug. he was (what i would imagine human parents describe) as a typical busy little boy. very puppy ADD. he was always on the move. always wanted toys, wanted to play with his toys, lay on his dog bed or the cool tile.. but he did not want to be held, picked up, or cuddled. i gave him all the space he wanted and eventually as he got calmer he wanted to settle near me and now he is a velcro dog. he sleeps in my bed and is always in my sight. in the beginning he was just a busy busy puppy. he liked to be petted and loved other people and wasn't the least bit afraid, but he still just didn't want to be held or etc.

but as others suggested, doing training/ puppy classes and all positive experiences may help your bond!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Good points, Sally's mom. I am a new puppy owner and I should focus on not being so sensitive and being a good leader. I think he misses the breeder but if I treat him right he should warm up to me. I will never give him back and will do whatever it takes!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Ashleigh, Jerry is a lot like that. he loves his toys, loves to sleep and is just very happy laying around on his own. He doesn't seem unhappy at all, just VERY sleepy! It helps me to hear that other golden owners had puppies that took time to warm up to them like yours did. He loves being petted (I think) but isn't big on more than that as it sounds like yours was.
 
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