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Hello my name is Linda & I need some help please, I am 47yrs old,been with my husband for 26yrs. I wasn’t able to have children because of ovarian cancer so in Dec 2004 I meet the most precious,lovable,clumsy little Golden Retriever. She stole my heart & my husband wasn’t an animal person but I talked him into letting me get her. She was 6wks old & we named her Jasmine Ann Ware but we called her Jazzy. Through the years she stole more and more of mine and my husbands heart. She was an indoor baby,only went out to walk,use the bathroom,go to the doctor or go riding with us. On June 27,2017 @4:19 PM my baby went to Heaven. My husband and I had to have her put to sleep. She had cancer and could no longer use her hind legs. This was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. She was always right with me. She would stay in the kitchen with me when I cooked and when it was time for bed she would sleep with me or on her bed beside me. I have never felt such a loss in my whole entire life. She was my baby.best friend..companion, and protector. As it is coming up on a year of her passing I am still grieving like it was yesterday. People keep telling me that it will get easier but it hasn’t. I have hit a bad depression. I don’t want to do the things that I did when she was here. I can’t get myself motivated because I feel like the only thing that I had to live for is gone. I have never felt a love so strong as I did with my baby. Even when I’m riding in the car my thoughts always go to her. I need some advice on how I can move past this. Not forget her because I could never do that but just how I can start living my life again. This is so hard because my heart breaks every single day. I wouldn’t bring her back to the pain for anything but I would love to have just one more day with my baby. Please if there is anyone that can give me some advice please let me know what to do. Here is my email in case I I don’t have a chance to get back on this site for a few days [email protected] Thank you for any help that you can give It will truly be appreciated.
 

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Karen
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Dear Linda, I'm so sorry for your loss of Jazzy.

I found a lot of help here on the GRF, reading about the grieving process that others have journeyed through.

Some threads that I turn to...

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/golden-retriever-rainbow-bridge/475370-poems-those-grieving-loss-their-pets.html

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/rainbow-bridge-grief-support-section/90666-stages-grief.html



You might also look at a couple of other websites

Rainbow Bridge, Pet Loss Grief Support, Monday Candle Ceremony

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/

Hugs.
 

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Hey Linda!

I lost my heart dog almost a year ago too (7/13/17). Anniversaries are hard for me. Something I learn after my Dad passed is that grief doesn't really lose it's intensity. When it hits it'll feel like it was yesterday. But over time, the grief hits less often (in my experience). I went to a couple pet loss support groups after Bear passed but it didn't really feel like it was helping. I've been working with a therapist for a while now and she advocates letting the feelings come without attaching judgement to them. And to use "i feel" instead of "i am" as a way of creating distance between feelings and identities.

I feel sad vs I am sad. I feel makes it seem like the emotion is temporary versus taking it as a mantle of identity. IDK if that will help you. But it's worth a shot, right?

Are you at a stage where you can share about your Jazzy? I wish you peace. *hugs*
 

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I am so sorry for your loss of Jazzy. I still sometimes cry for my heart dog Honeybear who died in 1998. I hope this isn't offensive but have you considered getting another dog at some point? I know no dog can in any way replace Jazzy but I have found, when I am ready, a new dog fills the hole in my heart in its own special way. When my house is without a Golden Retriever my world is just not quite right. I wish you peace.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss, and I understand how deep and persistent grief can be after the loss of a beloved dog. Perhaps a grief therapist can help you work through this difficult time, and help you consider if another dog might be right for you and your husband. I agree with cwag, you can never replace your lost one, but when the time is right you may fall in love with another dog with his own personality and wonderful qualities. My home is filled with pictures of our beloved Goldens who have left us, and we're looking forward to adding another later this summer. If we didn't have that to look forward to I think the sadness would be overwhelming. I hope your heart begins to heal soon.
 

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Dog Lover
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I'm sorry to hear about your sweet Jazzy...I know exactly how broken your heart is..I've lost 2 Golden's so far, 6 mos. Apart...it was not easy..my daughter was getting a puppy 6 weeks after my boy Nitro passed... I was not ready to fill my heart or home with a replacement for Nitro... while going to pick up my daughter s pup, another pup was put in my arms..he slept there for an hr..and yes, I fell in love again with my Neeko...I wish you the best..we ve all lost our heart dogs, but there was room in my heart for another dog...
 

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So very sorry for the loss of your precious Jazzy. I lost my boy three years ago this September at 15. I knew in my heart he didn't have much time left, he too was having alot of trouble getting up and in general with various other senior issues. I tried to prepare myself as best I could for "the day" that would eventually come by looking at him and trying to memorise every part of his dear old face. I can totally understand when you say you'd just love one more day with her. After Barnaby passed I was exactly the same, even now I look at his photo and say if only I could see you one more time because I felt so overwhelmed with sadness that I felt that I never properly said goodbye even though I told him how much I loved him the day he left.

It will get better I promise you, it won't be the same as goldens bring us so much love and happiness it's hard to imagine not seeing them everyday, but you will smile again thinking of her, it's just part of the journey of grief. I haven't got another pup yet for various reasons but I hope that one day I will. Maybe when the time feels right you'll ll be able to open your heart to another just like you did with Jazzy.

Please keep posting here when you are able, you are amongst friends who know exactly what you're going through.
 

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Welcome to the forum, I'm very sorry for your loss of Jazzy, my heart goes out to you.
I've lost 6 dogs over the last 20 years that have lived into their upper teens.

Each loss was different as each dog held a very special place in my heart and life just as Jazzy did in yours.

The grieving and healing process is different for everyone, it's a long hard journey to find peace. Everyone grieves differently, in their own time frame and in their own way.
Take the time you need, if you need help with the process, members will be here to help you by listening and giving you support.

It does get better with time, but it does take time. Take each day one at a time.

Be kind to yourself..

My thoughts are with you.
 

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Hello,

Grieving the loss of a dog is so hard. Is there any other time in our lives when we share such uncomplicated love?

I have lost several, four of them before the age of 9. There are moments when I can still burst into ugly tears over any one of them. But you know the secret for me? Those tears are such an expression of love. How wonderful for us that we have loved in such a big way - we are so blessed. Now when I feel my eyes start to burn, I’ve practiced thinking, “Oh, dang, the love is leaking out again!” ;)

As has already been suggested, when it’s time, maybe consider a new pupper. You won’t be cheating on Jazzy (I have worried about this myself), and no other dog will take her place. But another dog can absolutely nip around the edges of your broken heart until it nestles right in with one of those big dog sighs.

In the meantime, know you are in very good company, as you are surely not alone in how you feel. Please seek out whatever support you need to help you find those sunshiney days again.
 

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Dog Lover
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Jazzy

I am so very sorry about Jazzy! I know your pain, we have lost six dogs.
The only things that ever eases the loneliness and pain for my Husband and I is adopting another dog.
We never replace them, but give our love to another and that eases our pain.
I sent you an email. I've added Jazzy to the Rainbow Bridge list. My Smooch, Snobear, Munchkin, Gizmo and Mimi, will watch over her.
 

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I'm so sorry for the loss of Jazzy. So many of us here can totally relate to how you feel. I too have lost 6 dogs over the last 20 years and the pain never gets easier. I understand how lost you feel, I've felt the same. Even now I feel pain from the first dog I had. I've also learned to smile and laugh when thinking of all the special memories. I lost for 11 1/2 year old and my rescue dog (not sure of his age, but around the same) both over the past 8 months. That was a double hit and double arrow to the heart. But I learned that I can't go through what you are. I now have 2 new pups (1 - 15 weeks old and the old 2 years old). They don't replace the dogs I lost...they provide me the opportunity to share the love I can no longer give the 2 I lost. All dogs are different and very special in their own way, I know my dogs would want me to be happy and to give homes to dogs that needed them. I still miss my 2 every day and wish they were here for one more visit, and they are..they're in my memories and in my dreams. Try grief counseling and maybe just meeting some new dogs..not saying you have to get one. Just spending time away from your environment may help. My heart and prayers are with you.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Hello everyone,thank you all for your kind words & advise.I am sorry that I am just now getting back to you all but I have had a tough week & weekend.Today has really been bad,I have cried so much.It seems like my life will never get better now.I have talked with my therapist & she said that I need to adopt another animal& I really want a kitten but my husband is not ready for another animal.I have so much love to offer another animal,but I still miss my baby as if it were yesterday.She will always be my heart.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Hello everyone,thank you all for your kind words & advise.I am sorry that I am just now getting back to you all but I have had a tough week & weekend.Today has really been bad,I have cried so much.It seems like my life will never get better now.I have talked with my therapist & she said that I need to adopt another animal& I really want a kitten but my husband is not ready for another animal.I have so much love to offer another animal,but I still miss my baby as if it were yesterday.She will always be my heart.
 

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Hello everyone,thank you all for your kind words & advise.I am sorry that I am just now getting back to you all but I have had a tough week & weekend.Today has really been bad,I have cried so much.It seems like my life will never get better now.I have talked with my therapist & she said that I need to adopt another animal& I really want a kitten but my husband is not ready for another animal.I have so much love to offer another animal,but I still miss my baby as if it were yesterday.She will always be my heart.
Maybe fostering an animal would be a nice middle ground? You get to love on an animal in need and be it's caretaker while it prepares for it's forever home, and your husband gets the security of knowing it's not permanent. :) Fostering really helped me when I was craving specific traits from Bear like the leg leaning, and the velcro-ness, etc.
 

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Dog Lover
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Jazzy4

Both times my Hubby and I have lost dogs, I've always been ready for another dog before him, and when we did adopt, my Hubby was very happy. Hope that helps. I would stress to him how important this is to you and your well being.
 
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