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It must be so hard to see your mother like this, put please keep in mind that this is a part of her healing and this will pass. She will get stronger she just needs some time to realise that this was taken out of her hands and she had no control in the matter. She is in shock as she must have prepared herself for Jill to go first not young Abby.

I am so happy to hear that Jill and yourself have Penny to help you heal. I bet that you still think about Abby all of the time. As you know even though you can't see or hear Abby she still wishes you well as always and wants to see you happy.
 

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My mother is having a very hard and difficult time with the passing of Abby our 9 year old yellow lab that passed away from hemangiosarcoma back on July 19th of this year. We were not prepare to loss Abby so soon and from something that was so silent until it hit it's breaking point. My mother was always at home with the dogs, we have another dog 12 year old golden name Jill. We now have a new puppy a golden one that is 3 months old name Penny, but for some reason this isn't helping her much. I keep telling my mother that we did all we could for Abby that she was terminal. I keep telling her that Abby wasn't in much pain when she finally left us and that it didn't last that long for her. I mean I still grieve for Abby myself, but my mother is really worrying me a lot now. I want to help her so much, but I don't know anymore. I thought Penny would help because Penny has helped me a lot and has helped Jill as well, but my mother not so much. I hate seeing my mother like this. I want to help her so much more.
I'm sorry your mom is having a hard time, I know it's both sad and difficult for you to watch what she is going through.

The loss of a loved one or a beloved pet has a very profound effect on us all. I have compared it to having my heart ripped right out of me, the pain and loss was so great, so deep, and left me with a feeling of having a huge whole within my soul. It changes us forever, but also having that pet or person in our life changes us too. I feel the relationship with have with animals is also different for each of us.

Loss and grief is personal and it effects individuals differently, we each grieve in our own way, on our own terms and time frame. Your mom may need some additional help, you may be able to find some groups in your area that deal with pet loss.

Here is a group, not sure if you're familiar with Monty's Home-

Monty's Home

They offer Rainbow Bridge support and counseling-

Rainbow-Bridge | Monty's Home

My thoughts are with you all.
 

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Abby and Penny's momma
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It must be so hard to see your mother like this, put please keep in mind that this is a part of her healing and this will pass. She will get stronger she just needs some time to realise that this was taken out of her hands and she had no control in the matter. She is in shock as she must have prepared herself for Jill to go first not young Abby.

I am so happy to hear that Jill and yourself have Penny to help you heal. I bet that you still think about Abby all of the time. As you know even though you can't see or hear Abby she still wishes you well as always and wants to see you happy.
Yes, we were more prepared to lose Jill before Abby, because she was older than her and well Jill has a few minor health issues. Abby was so health up until she suddenly got sick from the fluid that built up on her heart. Thank you your words, I know Abby is watching over us and we always talk about her and about the things she did that is different from Penny and Jill. I know we gave Abby a good life and lots of love, it was just so hard to loss her.
 

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Abby and Penny's momma
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I'm sorry your mom is having a hard time, I know it's both sad and difficult for you to watch what she is going through.

The loss of a loved one or a beloved pet has a very profound effect on us all. I have compared it to having my heart ripped right out of me, the pain and loss was so great, so deep, and left me with a feeling of having a huge whole within my soul. It changes us forever, but also having that pet or person in our life changes us too. I feel the relationship with have with animals is also different for each of us.

Loss and grief is personal and it effects individuals differently, we each grieve in our own way, on our own terms and time frame. Your mom may need some additional help, you may be able to find some groups in your area that deal with pet loss.

Here is a group, not sure if you're familiar with Monty's Home-

Monty's Home

They offer Rainbow Bridge support and counseling-

Rainbow-Bridge | Monty's Home

My thoughts are with you all.
Thank you for the links! I will check them out, I feel my mom needs a group to talk. I feel that might help her more then me, she feels like she is the only one who loss a dog. I keep telling her that she wasn't the only one that everyday other dogs are dying from this terrible cancer.
 

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It is difficult to watch our loved ones grieve. Especially our parents. You have done everything you can to help your mom get over the loss of Abby. We are all different when it comes to length of time to grieve. You are still said but you have come to the moving on point. Sometimes the loss of a pet triggers not grieving for someone or something in the past. I once met a man that told be cried more when his dog died than when his mother past. Yet he said he loved his mother very much. The assumption there is that his dog finally brought him to griefs door, and allowed those sad feelings out.

You are a good daughter for helping & your concern. Try to be the example and enjoy Jill and the new puppy.

Your mom will come around. You don't need to stay said. Your Abby girl is still with you in
Spirit. I wish you a better today.
 

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Thank you for this post. For anyone in my situation... I lost Cara 6 weeks ago and I am in what is numbered no 4. (I skipped the lashing/angry part) It is true that it is hard to be with people who think that or assume that you are on the road to recovery when you are sitting in your kitchen looking at old photos and still catching yourself thinking to call out to your 'Girl' that you'll ' be back in a few so don't worry'.......and then it hits you within a 1/2 second..... I have also suffered a few stress related minor illnesses that I am prone to when my body reacts strongly to something. The only thing that has helped somewhat is 'making myself' continue exercising. I always ran a lot but now I am running some times 12 miles 4/5 times a week. I come home much calmer and too tired to think about 'my loss of Cara' for a number of hours. If you don't exercise...now might be a good time to try something simple...like starting with simple aerobics for 10 mns a day working up to 20 mns or swimming/elliptical.. and building it up. As I said....it is the only thing that has helped me since she pased 6 weeks ago. I thought I'd share this 'coping mechanism'
Jud
 

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Mel & Mimi´s Mom
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I am at stage 2. Not bad for being only 10 days without Mel. I´m keeping up my work out as well since my exercising time is something Mel didn´t accompany me so it´s easier. My 85 year old mother suffers too so my husband and I are starting to plan a trip abroad to take my mother to visit her brothers while they are still alive. Also something we couldn´t do while Mel was with us. And most definitely, this forum is the coping mechanism.
 

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I am at stage 2. Not bad for being only 10 days without Mel. I´m keeping up my work out as well since my exercising time is something Mel didn´t accompany me so it´s easier. My 85 year old mother suffers too so my husband and I are starting to plan a trip abroad to take my mother to visit her brothers while they are still alive. Also something we couldn´t do while Mel was with us. And most definitely, this forum is the coping mechanism.
I think it's a great idea to take a trip. I know how hard this Christmas must have been for you, although it's so upsetting that they're are not with us, they certainly gave us some really wonderful memories, of course so many of them at holiday times like Christmas. Hugs sent to you and your family.
 

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I feel like I go through all these stages multiple times a day, ha. It's the worst. It's been about five months since I went through this loss and I still struggle with it daily.
It's a very hard process that many of us understand. It will get better it just take time; differing amounts for each person.
 

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I feel like I go through all these stages multiple times a day, ha. It's the worst. It's been about five months since I went through this loss and I still struggle with it daily.
Grief isn't a linear process, I think its pretty common to feel that way. I've certainly felt that. Its been a couple years since I lost my Mae, but there will still be times when I'm overwhelmed with feelings about her. There isn't a right or wrong way to feel <3
 

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Just lost my two Goldens, 17 days apart. My first boy I knew was going because he had thyroid carcinoma cancer and survived but the cancer came back a little over 2 years later, late summer, and went to Rainbow Bridge last month, before Thanksgiving. His brother, who I had no clue was sick, started going downhill quickly days after his brothers death. It was so sad! I went to the vet then another vet, and just couldn't take it anymore. He was so confused, bumping into things hitting his beautiful head, and hardly got up anymore. It was and is very heartbreaking. I think about them all the time.
 

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It's been almost 9 years since I posted this here.I did it after I lost all 3 of my girls over a 6 month period back in 2010, a 12 , 4 and 17 year old. I wasn't sure I would get thru it. The loss of JOY, my Heart and Soul dog, overnight to Hemangiosarcoma was the worst thing I ever had to go through .But recently we took Jordan and Penny to the beach for JOY's rose ceremony. It's been 9 years since I lost JOY and I can finally say that the anger is gone. Now I feel lucky and grateful and blessed to have had her in my life. I will always miss her and the grief has filled up the hole that losing her made in me. It is a part of me now and in a strange way, keeps her close. I will never get over losing her but I honor our love by loving Jordan and Penny now and trying to give them the same wonderful life that Joy and I shared. She was an Angel here on earth. This beach is where I decided to keep puppy JOY after I rescued her from the pound. Life goes on, somehow it just does. Bless all of you going through you own loss now, it's the price we pay for loving them so much.
 

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