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Sophie's Mommy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hey everyone,

so i just need to vent, and i think this is the place where i feel i can do it! basically we have sophie's spay appt. made for two weeks from today, and i am having major anxiety about it. this isn't unusual, i'm a normally anxious person and of course when it comes to the well being of a loved one it becomes even greater. now, the thing is my parents moved to florida about 3 years ago which was hard b/c we've always been a close family. so, we traveled down there every christmas for the last few years, but this year, something prevented that - sophie! i still don't think they completely understand, although they've always had dogs, but i told my parents that i didn't feel comfortable putting her in cargo on a plane, and i don't feel comfortable leaving her with someone at such a young age. she's still in training, we're just about finished w/ her puppy class, and i'm afraid she'll regress b/c other people (my cousins offered to watch her) may not keep up with her training, and besides that, the change in routine can't be good for such a young pup, i'd imagine.

so now, this was the first christmas ever we were apart from my parents b/c they didn't have off from work and couldn't come up this way (i'm a teacher, so i've been off this whole week). so now my mom decided that she's going to come visit in the middle of january b/c she doesn't have required work days at work. i've told her many times, for many weeks that we were planning to get sophie spayed the weekend of martin luther king jr. day b/c i knew i'd have that extra day to spend with her. so my mom has been playing a guilt trip on me for weeks, saying well i guess i'll just stay at a hotel then. (mind you, my sister lives 10 minutes away in her own apt.) but yet my mom keeps asking if she could stay here, and i guess i wasn't clear enough because again today she asked if she could stay here those days. and again i told her, we're getting sophie spayed that weekend and i don't want extra excitement for her. she's never met my mom so i know how she gets with anyone, let alone new people. she thinks everyone wants to play with her and she doesn't sit still for long. so i feel like having a house guest for that time period with hurt her recovery b/c she'll be too excited to play with "grandma."

now what ticked me off the most was that my mom actually asked her vet in florida and he said, sophie will be out of it for the first day but then she'll be fine. what???? have you ever met my dog? do you know how energetic she is? or how she reacts to new people? i thought that was a lot of nerve for her to ask, and unprofessional for him to even answer.

so basically now my mom is mad at me b/c again i told her no, it's not a good time. we have a week off in february so i keep telling her to come then, but, she doesn't know about her required days for work. which i understand, but, then stay by my sister's instead!!

am i wrong for being so rigid? i mean i feel like i know my dog best and as it is i'm having a lot of anxiety over this, having another person hovering over me is only going to make it worse for me, and i feel that sophie's recovery time will be compromised with a house guest. does any of this make sense?
 

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Breathe. I don't think there would be any problem with having grandma visit unless she is a high strung uncontrollable adult that would throw the house into total chaos. I get that you're wanting to do everything "right" by your pup, but be careful that you're not shielding her too much & being overprotective which is just going to create a nervous dog with anxiety.
 

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Why not change her spay date to Feb when you have a week off to be with her. Maybe just me but it does seem kind of rigid to turn you mother away for that. Couldn't she be crated in your quiet bedroom? (Dog that is)
Young dogs are tough, I had a hard time keeping Tilley from running and ripping like a fiend right after being spayed. Vet said let her lead a normal life after a day or 2 of quiet, within reason.
 

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Breathe. I don't think there would be any problem with having grandma visit unless she is a high strung uncontrollable adult that would throw the house into total chaos. I get that you're wanting to do everything "right" by your pup, but be careful that you're not shielding her too much & being overprotective which is just going to create a nervous dog with anxiety.
I agree. While it might not be the most ideal time for a visit, it can work. :) Maybe your mom just misses you since they didn't see you for Christmas, you know? Maybe a little more crate time for Sophie could work out while she is recovering. Or, maybe you could even switch her appt. to the week you are off in Feb?
 

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Nancy
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Breathe. I don't think there would be any problem with having grandma visit unless she is a high strung uncontrollable adult that would throw the house into total chaos. I get that you're wanting to do everything "right" by your pup, but be careful that you're not shielding her too much & being overprotective which is just going to create a nervous dog with anxiety.
I totally agree.

When Maggie was spayed she spent that evening in her crate, after that she continued life as usual. We just didn't let her run up & down steps, chase balls etc. With kids + friends, our house was always chaotic back then. Heck, even now at times it's chaotic with our grandchild living here.

My Hank is almost 6 months, during the holidays we had 5 parties, he stayed in the gated laundry room when guests were here. His routine was off, but he adjusted and nothing was loss. Don't shelter your dog, she needs to learn to adjust to different situations, people and schedules.
 

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Sophie's Mommy
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
we didn't plan it for february b/c we're hoping to start the next level of obedience classes by then
 

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shadow friend
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Well, I disagree with everyone else thus far and completely think you are right. Could grama come and not throw Sophie in a tizzy? Maybe. But there's the most important thing that I haven't seen considered. It's not just Sophie's mental health that you need to consider- it's your own. It sounds like you would also be much more relaxed if you didn't have to deal with an extra unknown and that is what most matters. I know if it were me, I'd feel the same way and there's nothing wrong with that. Dealing with choosing to cause your beloved pet a world of pain is a very stressful thing. It needs to be done, and yes, it is better for her in the long run but the now part is so very hard. I think that if you think it is better for your dog and your household not to have any extra energies, then it is better.
 

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I was also very anxious about Bailey's spay. It was yesterday and we got her back just a few hours after the surgery. The entire afternoon she was just so out that she was just laying around and sleeping and also in the evening she was mostly sleeping. She barely could walk outside to go potty. I don't think she would have done anything if a visitor would have come because she was just so out. Today she's back to normal and I try to keep my son away from her, because he always starts to run around and she's going after him. With your mom I am sure it would be just fine as she would for sure be more understanding of the spay - my son doesn't get it at all and when he saw the E- Collar, he said "Bailey has Polka " there is one episode of The Backyardigans (one of his favorite shows) and it's called Polka and there is a big Tuba in there.
good luck with whatever you decide on doing.
I personally would maybe not postpone the surgery as you never know when they go in heat.
 
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