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hey everyone, my name is tim and i am new here. my dog - my beautiful, loving, best friend - passed away on sunday afternoon and i am having such a hard time.

i'm a 21 year old junior at the university of arizona, but i live and grew up in allendale, nj, and i found out that my little girl died over the phone.

penny was truly, truly my best friend. she followed me everywhere i went in the house, and when i came home she would always come and greet me regardless of how deep her sleep was. friends and family were amazed at how much my dog loved me, and being so close to my dog was something i took such pride in. she wouldn't start her day until i woke up, and whenever i ate, drove somewhere, or just relaxed around the house you could count on her being right next to me.

every night before i went to sleep i would always lay right next to her, hold her head, and whisper to her that i truly loved her more than anything, and that she was my best friend. i would then kiss her goodnight and go to sleep. now i know she never understood what i was saying, i always liked to think she did. she would always look up right before i did it as if she was waiting for it, and as i walked away she would just watch me go and just look so content.

ever since i got to college it's been so hard not being with her everyday, but coming home for breaks was so special because we could finally hang out and it made us both so happy. but now that i know that she spent the last month of her life and even died without me is tearing me apart.

i miss the way she would play with me and her stuffed animals, i miss the way she wake up in the middle of a nap and look up at me with that scrunched up and sleepy face, i miss the way she'd get so excited when i'd come home, i miss the way i would feel when i saw her. but most of all i miss my best friend. there is such a huge hole in my heart right now, and i don't know if it will ever be filled.

i just hope that as she was going out she was thinking of me, and now that she's taking a nap right next to God's bed i hope that she is thinking about her life and that it's making her happy. i hope i meant half as much to her as she meant to me, and i really hope that she knows just how happy she made me.

i miss you penny, and i love you so very much.
 

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I'm so sorry :( I found out my childhood dog Josh died over the phone as well.. and it tears me up inside that I was never able to say goodbye to him. Losing a pet is never easy.. but it does help sometimes to share stories and talk about them. And one day, when you are ready, you can open your heart to another dog. Welcome to the forum Tim.. do you have any pics of Penny?
 

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So sorry you have lost your special friend and companion, I'm sure Penny will watch over you and will wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge.RIP Dear Penny.
 

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Old Gold is the Best Gold
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post really touched me. One thing I do believe is that they know they are loved. Whether or not they know the words we say, they know the feelings. Dogs are so in tune to our moods and thoughts.

Welcome to the forum- even if it is under very sad circumstances. We'd love to hear more about your wonderful friend Penny.
 

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Tim I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Penny. I think she knew how much you loved her and she will be waiting to see you again someday at the Rainbow Bridge.
 

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"GO TARHEELS!!!"
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Greetings Tim and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Mandy and I share a very similar relationship, one that I hope will never end.
Rest in peace sweet Penny.
 

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Owner of a Bailey Girl!
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I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Penny. I promise you that she knew how much you loved her and "understood" every single time you told her. I hope you will find this site to be very helpful during this time, and hopefully you'll stick around to tell us stories and show us pictures of Penny when you're ready! Welcome to the forum and we're all here for you during this difficult time!
 

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Mom to 9 :)
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I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, would like to think that our four-legged friends know how much we love them and try to tell mine often. May your memories of Penny comfort you in the coming days. I don't know who to credit the following poem, but it is my favorite.

Never Gone, Never Far
In My Heart Is Where You Are.
Always Close. Everyday.
Every Step Along The Way.
Even Though For Now We Have To Say Goodbye,
I Know You Will Be Forever In My Life
Never Gone.
 

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Kim & Flora
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Tim, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. :( I was fortunate enough to be home from college when my Carmella died last summer, but I almost wish I hadn't been there - it was extremely difficult.

Reading what you wrote brought tears to my eyes. Penny was truly blessed to have a family as loving as yours sounds, and I know she is up at the Rainbow Bridge playing happily with all the other dogs. Rest in peace, sweet Penny.
 

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Now Caue's Dad Too!
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So sorry to hear of your loss. Many of us here on the forum know the pain you are feeling right now. I'm afraid that only time can begin to take that ache away. We would love to see some pictures of your treasured pup.
 

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Tim, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it hurts that you weren't there to say goodbye, but Penny surely knew you loved her. They may not understand the words, but they understand the love you share. Keep her always in your heart and I hope time eases the pain and it gets easier to just remember the good times.
Hugs from my boys.
 

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Missing Selka So Much
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It is so difficult to lose one of our beloved goldens. They are our best friends and Tim, it sounds like Penny knew how much you love her and is loving you from Heaven.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please share pictures of her if you can.
 

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In the Moment
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Oh Tim, I am so very, very sorry for your loss of your heart dog Penny. It is so evident how much you loved her.... and she you. I'm sorry that you were unable to say goodbye... that makes it harder to have closure. Time will help to ease the raw pain you feel now, and although you'll miss her, the smiles of memories and her spirit will always be there to help you through the pain. And perhaps someday, she will help lead you to another gentle soul who will love with every fiber of their being..... Penny will never be replaced, but I believe she would be greatly honored by caring for another. And, know that many of us have been down this path and we will always be here with ears to listen and shoulders to lean on. Hugs to you, Tim.

BTW, Tucson is one of my favorite of places. I was raised in Phoenix and most of my family are UofA alums ( yes, I was the black sheep and am a SunDevil!). Even though we've been in Dallas for many, many years, my heart is still in the desert. AND.... my heart dog is a 5 1/2 year old red girl named Penny.
 

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Tim, so very sorry for your loss of Penny. Just because Penny is no longer with you in body, the bond that you had will remain firm and fast in your heart, and she will always be walking with you on silent paws.

Run free, play hard and sleep softly Penny
 
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