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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #1
since past few weeks i have been busy, didnt have enough time to play with my pup....so the pup was under my parents care. :( now my pup is avoiding me, doesnt come close to me or play with me even if give him treats or pet him. everytime he saw me he diverted his attention towards my dad or mom and whined, wagged his tail etc. no matter how much i call him or try to give him treats he doesnt come near me. he goes off bouncing towards my parents when i am around completely avoiding me. it is making me feel a bit depressed. i havent done anything to him to scare him off, just been busy and couldnt be with him as much as i did before. what should i do? >.> i do feel a bit jealous cuz he "shows" me he likes mom and dad more than me with his behavior. when i give him treats he takes them and bounces off at top speed towards my mom and dad. :(
 

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gone
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Sounds like you need some one on one time ........ you don't even mention his name in your post. How old is he? How much time did you spend before you got busy?
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #3
Sounds like you need some one on one time ........ you don't even mention his name in your post. How old is he? How much time did you spend before you got busy?
my pup's name is Yuki. the ticker below shows his age =/ i got him when he was 5 weeks old baby and took care of him 16 hrs per day since i was free. as he grew up i spent less time with him. 6-8 hrs or so. past few weeks i havent spent really much time with him just an hour or two per day. well i dont have any boyfriend or any friends just my pup and my parents. it kinda makes me sad when he avoids me. :(
 

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You just need to spend some one on one time with him playing and working on training with treats.
 

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he's just probably a little confused right now - he thinks you're just this person who comes into his life and plays a little but your mom and dad are the primary people who take care of him
If you play and give treats and lots of snuggles and kisses, he'll come round. Don't let him see you're hurt - he won't understand. Just give him the lovin and he'll soon give it back again.
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #6
thanks laprincessa. your post put my mind at ease, i was getting depressed about it and feeling hurt. i will try spending more time with him and hope he wags his tail when he sees me like before.
 

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My husband went through this with my dog too. I work from home so I'm with this pretty much all the time. My husband was just with him in the evenings and for awhile Ozzy pretty much ignored him. If my husband tried to walk him Ozzy would whine and try to get back home. As Ozzy's gotten older he seems to be willing/able to spread the love around and now they are much closer. Ozzy is excited to see him and is happy to go on walks with him.
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #8
today i played fetch with him and gave him few treats. when he was playing, he fetched the ball and ran towards my dad first, growled and wagged his tail. when dad tried to take the ball Yuki didnt give the ball to him instead he chose to come to me and gave me the ball. he waited patiently for me to throw the ball again. he did this 3-4 times.

when he first went to my dad with the ball i kinda felt sad and sat there thinking what to do...next minute i felt a wet ball being pushed onto my face and when i showed him my hand and said "give" he dropped the ball onto my hand and stood there waiting for me to throw it. it made me happy he kinda pulled me out of the gloomy mood cuz i thought he wouldnt play with me. :)

he always sits obediently and waits for me to do something before he responds =/ but he never obeys my parents and is very jumpy around them.
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
Vistador i kinda think the same too. his behavior towards me like being obedient and waiting patiently etc makes me feel like i am on another level than my parents in his mind. =/ it makes me happy and also sad. kinda complicated feeling. deep inside i feel really proud that my tiny pup has grownup so much. it was really hard to care for him and sometimes i have cried cuz he was so small and fragile, i worried over him a lot doing my best so he will grow up healthy. now when he is 4 months old, i kinda feel i did a good job. if only he doesnt ignore/avoid me i would be so happy. truth is i kinda feel like my little birdie just flew out the nest....leaving mommy bird alone. its such a stupid feeling lol.

here are Yuki's pics :) just wanted to share his recent ones:




 

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Well, maybe the confusion is not Yuki but you. We are all parents, as far as our dogs are concerned. They look at us as the source of their safety and well being. Not as their playmates. I think Yuki has a normal behavior towards you, as the guardian. You may be internalizing Yuki's behavior in human terms. Since I am not an expert, may I suggest you find a dog trainer to help you?
 

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I think Vistador may be onto something here. And you know what, you should be proud of Yuki, that he's sort of venturing away from you a little, that he's secure enough to do that. You took a baby who was way too young, and you've helped him grow into a confident, and quite beautiful puppy. I'm proud of both of you!
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #14
well, there arent any dog trainers near my place. the pet training center is pretty far away. when i had my previous dog i had called them so i could join but they flatly refused me saying that i wont be able to go there daily due to the distance and told me to use the net/forums or books and train my pet myself. it was a complete let down.

guess i am the one who is confused. this forum has been a lot of help for me. every time i get confused or worried i post here for help. i have no other choice available :(

i am not internalizing his behavior in human terms. its just that his behavior towards me changed so suddenly (by the time i noticed it felt that way) when i had little time to play with him or be with him. i was stuck with "omg, my pup is avoiding me cuz i was busy all these days...what happened?" kinda thinking. 4 weeks back it was hard for me to get him off of me. he was always either holding my leg chewing my pants/shoe or when i was sitting he would be beside me with his head on my lap. he always used to come to me running if i called him and pounce on me, greet me happily with his tail wagging etc. anyone would be surprised or bothered if the pup's behavior changed like that right? thats the reason i posted for some help.

as other posters said me and my pup need some one on one time =/ i am trying to increase the time i spend with him and play with him as well as train him. he has already learned a lot of commands so i may start with new ones now. i will start feeding him myself and brushing him etc. thanks everyone for your help. :) glad i joined this forum.
 

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Wyatt Earp
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I think it is strange that if you raised him and now just because you have been busy he is avoiding you. If in fact you did raise him.....and I find it strange that you said you will now start feeding, brushing him......
Most dogs are crazy happy to see their owners when they return from long trips.....so yeah I do find it odd JMHO.

There must be other trainers in your area.....he refused you because you couldn't be there daily? I have never been enrolled in a daily class. Once or twice a week for us.....I find that odd also.....
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #16
i think i already said in my first post that i had been really busy these past few weeks, Yuki was under my parents care. previously i was free and had nothing to do so i was the one feeding and caring for him since i got him. these past few weeks my parents have been feeding and caring for him cuz i wasnt around as much as before. my pup's behavior, it IS kinda odd =/ it is confusing me and making me feel a bit depressed.

my previous golden Saya, many times i had left her with my mom for 3-6 months (i went to another country where my dad works) and when i got back she would greet me joyfully and i would spend 30 minutes or more cuddling and petting her before she calmed down. we both would soon go back to our daily routine of playing, training, feeding etc.
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #17 (Edited)
There must be other trainers in your area.....he refused you because you couldn't be there daily? I have never been enrolled in a daily class. Once or twice a week for us.....I find that odd also.....
sorry but i live in india. there is lot of difference. in my city there are 2-3 training centers. all are pretty far from my house. i contacted the closest one which is a couple miles away and was refused. =/ the woman on phone told me "maam since you live so far we cant be sure you can be here for group classes on time, you could search online or get books and train your dog yourself." <--quoting her exact words. also my city is pretty populated and getting from point A to point B on my city roads is a gamble since there is too much traffic. many places like gyms, training centers etc dont take in people who live farther than a mile.

as odd as you may find my words, i am not making any excuses. i am looking for help. i want to understand what went wrong and what to do. sorry but i am really confused and worried here.
 

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She's also going to pick up on your worry and confusion and that will make her want to avoid you. I know it's hard to do, but if you can be calm and happy with her, it might help a lot.
 

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Yuki's mom...Syd
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Discussion Starter #19 (Edited)
yes =) i have started working on it and calm myself before i spend time with him. today we had some snuggles and cuddles :) he licked my nose lol we played fetch and now i am training him to play catch but he lets the ball drop. guess things will get better with time.

i was asked to go with my dad to another country again but i have declined cuz i want to spend more time with my precious pup. dont wana leave my baby right now.

btw i made a mistake in one of my previous post about when i got him. he was 25 days old when i got him =/ less than 4 weeks old. i cared for him 16 hrs straight everyday until he was 10 weeks old.
 

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I have had dogs in the past that went through periods of wanting nothing to do with me even though I was the one feeding them adn brushing them and taking them outside. As soon as they saw my mom or my sister they would forget me. Yes it is hurtfull but you keep doing what you were doing and they come around. Sort of like a child that clings to aunty or grandma instead of mommy or daddy.

Yuki is 4mos old and spreading his wings. He will come back around especially when you spending extra time with him.
 
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