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Discussion Starter #1
My dad has been battling cancer for a few years now. We've beaten it three times already but then it shows up somewhere else. Currently, his colon cancer metastasized to his lungs and liver. When my Dad came to visit for Thanksgiving, he sat my brother and i down and explained that if the cancer doesn't respond to treatment, they plan on taking him off all medications. My step-mom warned us that this might be the last time we would see him alive.

Well, last night I called him and he told me that there's been a change in his status. The cancer hasn't responded to the chemo in 6 months, so they are taking him off and trying radiation in a last ditch effort.

At this point, I'm not even sure what i want. I absolutely want the cancer to disappear and I want him to live for at least 20 more years, but i doubt that is realistic.

Im not ready to say goodbye. And this lesson is one i don't want to learn.

Thank you for listening.


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So sorry to read of this, our thoughts are with you at this tough time
 

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So sorry, i know what your talking about, my husband has stage 4 cancer,it also has spread, two different types of chemo,it did not help.
 

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Thanks everyone! I feel so helpless and small right now.

I wish i could take care of him, but realistically, that would drive him crazy and I'm too far away. :(

Reality sucks big time.


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I'm so very sorry, I will be praying for your family! I went through this with my dad so I understand that helpless feeling in the pit of your stomach.
All you can do is love him and be his strength. I knew the end was near for my dad but still that didn't stop the total devastation that I felt. It's been 7 years and I still feel that way.
Don't let words go unspoken. That's my best advice.
{{{Hugs}}}
 

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So sorry, i know what your talking about, my husband has stage 4 cancer,it also has spread, two different types of chemo,it did not help.
I'm so sorry!!!! I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you and your husband!!!

My dad's is stage IV as well and terminal. :( He's been on more drugs then I can remember. I'm having trouble coping with this. I find there are days that I mourn and grieve as if he's already gone. My BFF told me, its s coping mechanism for those dealing with long term illnesses and terminal diseases.

I want to hang on to him with every fiber in my being, but i don't want him to suffer. On Thanksgiving, it was obvious that he's tired of being here. Tired of the fight. I think a lot of it, he's hanging on for our sake, which is wrong for us to expect. We've had a bumpy past and I've only reconnected with him 10 years ago, my brother took longer to get over his anger. What I wouldn't give to have the missing 16 years back.


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I remember when my dad got cancer,in 1990, he was my first really big loss, it was tough, tough on my mom to , back then ,he was given no hope, no chemo,no drugs at all, on pain meds, he was 61 when he passed,it was lung cancer. I got so angry, that he had smoked, did not stop, angry at him, angry at the industry,that made those horrible things.
 

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Don't let words go unspoken. That's my best advice.
{{{Hugs}}}
Thanks! I've never minced words with him. When we reconnected, i laid everything on the table. My dad is a very gruff person. He doesn't express his emotions well. Whenever i tell him i love him, he would say "roger that". Now he tells me he loves me.


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In the Moment
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I'm so sorry that your family is walking this path. My prayers for all of you. If it indeed is nearing the end, hospice is a wonderful resource not only for your dad, but for all the family too. They are truly angels in caring for and helping the family face saying goodbye. I hope that whatever happens, you all are at peace and like was said above, that nothing goes unsaid (including that it's ok to go, that the family will be ok... many do hang on for family members and getting that last "ok" eases their transition. My sister and I said that to my mom in her last day. She was unresponsive but since they say hearing is the last sense to go, I hope she knew.)
 

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Brave

Brave

I am so very sorry that your Dad and your family is going through awful cancer.
Spend time with him if you can visit him, if not, spend lots of time with him on the phone, writing him, telling him how much he means to you!
 

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Charlotte
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So sorry to read this but happy to hear that you reconnected with your Dad a while ago. Hoping that the radiation does some good. People sometimes do just get tired of being sick every day when there is no positive outcome and are often ready to give up the fight long before their families are ready to accept this. Your Dad is lucky to have your acceptance of his decisions.
 
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