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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hazel is 4 months old, we got her home a month ago to say she has been a lot of will be an understatement. I’m not sure if these are normal behaviour of something to be concerned:

1. she eats her poop. We will in an appartment and we will keep her in her pen and watch her like a hawk to remove her poop tray as soon as she does her business. We have now started taking her for a walk. Usually it’s 4 poops in a day at 6:15, 10, 5 and 9:30. Yesterday she pooped earlier at 8 and ate it ☹
2. After we have allowed her to freely move out of her pen she is peeing everywhere. Sometimes even the couch. We did this because earlier when we restricted her to pen we would keep her pee mat inside her pen and she will land up sleeping on her pee mat.
3. She is adamant and while walking will sit down on her own will and then lie down and won’t move for few minutes. I wonder if she is lazy or adamant. I have to lure treats and sometime even that doesn’t work. I’m not surely entirely if she is lazy cause back home she will have spurts of energy when she is running around in small apartment doing crazy stuff. I mean I was out with her minutes ago on walks and she was lazy on the walk.
4. She gets super excited seeing other dogs and will pull on leash to play with them and it will usually end up with the other dogs growling at her annoyed with her excitement.
5. She likes playing and licking strangers and the moment she sees anyone walking past she will pull leash to go and get petted by them and lick them.
6. Lastly biting issues, I just can’t pet her. The moment I will try to let she will try to grab my hand and bite it. Even with kids at home if they are hanging their legs she wants to bite them.


All these issues are overwhelming me and spoiling my relationship with her as I’m getting irritated and have less patience compared to my wife and sometimes I land up scolding her.
I don’t know which issues to prioritise but it’s not working. I have a trainer who charges me $100 per hour and have 3 sessions and hasn’t worked. I don’t know how to solve these. I don’t know if she is adamant, dumb, lazy or has health issues.
I wonder if someone can help.
Regards
VC
 

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I'm sure more experienced dog parents can chime in on this one, but just wanted to share on the play pen potty as we had a sort of similar set-up as you. Our pup sleeps in a crate at night and for her daytime naps but in between play sessions and crate time, we initially put her in a playpen + fake grass for potty when we couldn't watch her non-stop.

Just like yours, she loved to roll around in her pee after going potty, so we wound up moving the grass just outside her pen, and watching her like a hawk to make sure we were putting her on the fake grass when she looked like she needed to go. Totally defeated the point of a playpen having to watch her like that. Also, this just led to a tonne of mind games, because she kind of hated the pen, and when we put her on the grass, a lot of the time she didn't need / want to go, would cry, and roll around in it. She'd also have accidents in the pen anyway, and then step all over it and drag it around. All this to say - we ditched the pen totally and wound up sticking her in a crate even during the day, and then taking her out for targeted potty, food and play / training breaks. She's still very young, and it's still early days so I am expected set backs, but so far this has been LIFE CHANGING. She has recently started running mid play session to the kitchen where we keep her fake grass to go potty on her own - I sure hope she keeps it up! Now we just play mind games trying to figure out if she is crying to get out of the crate because she needs to potty or wants attention😅😅

Is crate training, including during the day something you guys have tried or considered doing?
 

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Esquire Golden Retrievers
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None of that is unusual for a Golden puppy.

I'm going to sound harsh, but you deserve it. The problem is not the puppy, it's you. You have three problems: 1. the way you're raising your puppy; 2. your expectations; and 3. your lack of knowledge. In fact, it sounds like you're giving that puppy a pretty terrible life, so far.

Some dogs eat their poop. Could be the food you feed, the amount, some psychological or emotional issue, or something else.

At four months old, your puppy should be pretty much housebroken. You're not doing it right, AT ALL. You're going to need to look up the techniques and go back to square one and start over.

She sits or lies down on walks because she doesn't want to do something and you haven't trained her well. No puppy is "lazy." Or "adamant" or "dumb." And it doesn't sound like she has heath issues. You're not understanding her, and you don't know how to get what you want out of her. She is communicating with you, and you're not understanding it, and you're not communicating effectively with her. You are the human. She's just a little puppy. You have to do better. Much, much, better.

Of course she wants to run and see other dogs and people! She's a Golden Retriever puppy, that's the most exciting thing in the world, particularly since you confine her so severely. And all Golden puppies are mouthy and want to "bite" you. They play by biting. They experience their new world and learn all about it by putting everything in their mouths. This is extremely normal. You need to learn what to do with it, because it's going to be around for quite a long time, and if you don't deal with it right, it could be forever.

I don't know what you're paying that trainer for. The trainer is not telling you what you need to hear. And you've had three sessions and are upset that they haven't "worked"??? What did you expect from three one-hour sessions? Puppies are not iPhones. They are not "plug and play." They don't come pre-trained. They are little BABIES of another species, thrust into this strange world of human beings, where all their natural instincts about what they should do are wrong. And you're not helping her.

The difference between an adventure and an ordeal is your ATTITUDE. You are going about this every wrong way. Your expectations of the puppy are wrong. The way you're raising her is wrong. The way you're training her is wrong. You're doing everything wrong, and all she's doing is being a perfectly normal puppy.

Where do you live? There is a Vaibhav Chadha in Hong Kong, one in the U.S., several in India. Your profile doesn't say where you live. You need a good resource. Your trainer obviously isn't helping. And you need a lot of help. Tell us where you live, and maybe someone here can find you some assistance.

Meanwhile, I haven't offered solutions because you first need to become aware that you are the problem and your puppy is just fine. Once you readjust your attitude, people here will have great suggestions for you. Meanwhile, please get your head right. The puppy is just a normal puppy. Your approach is the problem, and a change will be your solution. You can't rely on a trainer, except to help guide you. You're going to have to do it yourself.

So take a big breath, relax, and people here will start to offer suggestions. I'll be back with some, too. Meanwhile, we could use more information.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm sure more experienced dog parents can chime in on this one, but just wanted to share on the play pen potty as we had a sort of similar set-up as you. Our pup sleeps in a crate at night and for her daytime naps but in between play sessions and crate time, we initially put her in a playpen + fake grass for potty when we couldn't watch her non-stop.

Just like yours, she loved to roll around in her pee after going potty, so we wound up moving the grass just outside her pen, and watching her like a hawk to make sure we were putting her on the fake grass when she looked like she needed to go. Totally defeated the point of a playpen having to watch her like that. Also, this just led to a tonne of mind games, because she kind of hated the pen, and when we put her on the grass, a lot of the time she didn't need / want to go, would cry, and roll around in it. She'd also have accidents in the pen anyway, and then step all over it and drag it around. All this to say - we ditched the pen totally and wound up sticking her in a crate even during the day, and then taking her out for targeted potty, food and play / training breaks. She's still very young, and it's still early days so I am expected set backs, but so far this has been LIFE CHANGING. She has recently started running mid play session to the kitchen where we keep her fake grass to go potty on her own - I sure hope she keeps it up! Now we just play mind games trying to figure out if she is crying to get out of the crate because she needs to potty or wants attention😅😅

Is crate training, including during the day something you guys have tried or considered doing?
Hey thanks for your response. At least feels like I’m not the only one. Our trainer told us to crate train her too so that’s the next thing we will try. Alternately she said that we should keep increasing the pen and fence the home and slowly increase her radius rather than giving her the entire appartment which will also reduce accidents before she is fully trained. Will post you on progress. Thanks much
 

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Hey thanks for your response. At least feels like I’m not the only one. Our trainer told us to crate train her too so that’s the next thing we will try. Alternately she said that we should keep increasing the pen and fence the home and slowly increase her radius rather than giving her the entire appartment which will also reduce accidents before she is fully trained. Will post you on progress. Thanks much
Good luck! I appreciate the sentiment with expanding the radius of the pen, but unlike the crate, our pen doesn't seem small or den like enough for our puppy to make as strong a connection not to pee in there, as compared with the crate. She's only just over 8 weeks so maybe a different situation in terms of more frequent accidents, but we saw that she had had basically 2 accidents in the crate all on her first day, and like 10 in the pen over 3 days. That made us think the pen wasnt helping potty training at all. Instead we now try to play with her in new rooms in the flat gradually during targeted play, and so far only one accident which was totally my fault not recognizing the signs. Again - early days for us, but hope this helps!
 

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None of that is unusual for a Golden puppy.

I'm going to sound harsh, but you deserve it. The problem is not the puppy, it's you. You have three problems: 1. the way you're raising your puppy; 2. your expectations; and 3. your lack of knowledge. In fact, it sounds like you're giving that puppy a pretty terrible life, so far.

Some dogs eat their poop. Could be the food you feed, the amount, some psychological or emotional issue, or something else.

At four months old, your puppy should be pretty much housebroken. You're not doing it right, AT ALL. You're going to need to look up the techniques and go back to square one and start over.

She sits or lies down on walks because she doesn't want to do something and you haven't trained her well. No puppy is "lazy." Or "adamant" or "dumb." And it doesn't sound like she has heath issues. You're not understanding her, and you don't know how to get what you want out of her. She is communicating with you, and you're not understanding it, and you're not communicating effectively with her. You are the human. She's just a little puppy. You have to do better. Much, much, better.

Of course she wants to run and see other dogs and people! She's a Golden Retriever puppy, that's the most exciting thing in the world, particularly since you confine her so severely. And all Golden puppies are mouthy and want to "bite" you. They play by biting. They experience their new world and learn all about it by putting everything in their mouths. This is extremely normal. You need to learn what to do with it, because it's going to be around for quite a long time, and if you don't deal with it right, it could be forever.

I don't know what you're paying that trainer for. The trainer is not telling you what you need to hear. And you've had three sessions and are upset that they haven't "worked"??? What did you expect from three one-hour sessions? Puppies are not iPhones. They are not "plug and play." They don't come pre-trained. They are little BABIES of another species, thrust into this strange world of human beings, where all their natural instincts about what they should do are wrong. And you're not helping her.

The difference between an adventure and an ordeal is your ATTITUDE. You are going about this every wrong way. Your expectations of the puppy are wrong. The way you're raising her is wrong. The way you're training her is wrong. You're doing everything wrong, and all she's doing is being a perfectly normal puppy.

Where do you live? There is a Vaibhav Chadha in Hong Kong, one in the U.S., several in India. Your profile doesn't say where you live. You need a good resource. Your trainer obviously isn't helping. And you need a lot of help. Tell us where you live, and maybe someone here can find you some assistance.

Meanwhile, I haven't offered solutions because you first need to become aware that you are the problem and your puppy is just fine. Once you readjust your attitude, people here will have great suggestions for you. Meanwhile, please get your head right. The puppy is just a normal puppy. Your approach is the problem, and a change will be your solution. You can't rely on a trainer, except to help guide you. You're going to have to do it yourself.

So take a big breath, relax, and people here will start to offer suggestions. I'll be back with some, too. Meanwhile, we could use more information.
None of that is unusual for a Golden puppy.

I'm going to sound harsh, but you deserve it. The problem is not the puppy, it's you. You have three problems: 1. the way you're raising your puppy; 2. your expectations; and 3. your lack of knowledge. In fact, it sounds like you're giving that puppy a pretty terrible life, so far.

Some dogs eat their poop. Could be the food you feed, the amount, some psychological or emotional issue, or something else.

At four months old, your puppy should be pretty much housebroken. You're not doing it right, AT ALL. You're going to need to look up the techniques and go back to square one and start over.

She sits or lies down on walks because she doesn't want to do something and you haven't trained her well. No puppy is "lazy." Or "adamant" or "dumb." And it doesn't sound like she has heath issues. You're not understanding her, and you don't know how to get what you want out of her. She is communicating with you, and you're not understanding it, and you're not communicating effectively with her. You are the human. She's just a little puppy. You have to do better. Much, much, better.

Of course she wants to run and see other dogs and people! She's a Golden Retriever puppy, that's the most exciting thing in the world, particularly since you confine her so severely. And all Golden puppies are mouthy and want to "bite" you. They play by biting. They experience their new world and learn all about it by putting everything in their mouths. This is extremely normal. You need to learn what to do with it, because it's going to be around for quite a long time, and if you don't deal with it right, it could be forever.

I don't know what you're paying that trainer for. The trainer is not telling you what you need to hear. And you've had three sessions and are upset that they haven't "worked"??? What did you expect from three one-hour sessions? Puppies are not iPhones. They are not "plug and play." They don't come pre-trained. They are little BABIES of another species, thrust into this strange world of human beings, where all their natural instincts about what they should do are wrong. And you're not helping her.

The difference between an adventure and an ordeal is your ATTITUDE. You are going about this every wrong way. Your expectations of the puppy are wrong. The way you're raising her is wrong. The way you're training her is wrong. You're doing everything wrong, and all she's doing is being a perfectly normal puppy.

Where do you live? There is a Vaibhav Chadha in Hong Kong, one in the U.S., several in India. Your profile doesn't say where you live. You need a good resource. Your trainer obviously isn't helping. And you need a lot of help. Tell us where you live, and maybe someone here can find you some assistance.

Meanwhile, I haven't offered solutions because you first need to become aware that you are the problem and your puppy is just fine. Once you readjust your attitude, people here will have great suggestions for you. Meanwhile, please get your head right. The puppy is just a normal puppy. Your approach is the problem, and a change will be your solution. You can't rely on a trainer, except to help guide you. You're going to have to do it yourself.

So take a big breath, relax, and people here will start to offer suggestions. I'll be back with some, too. Meanwhile, we could use more information.
Hello,

I appreciate your feedback but not the judgements (without knowing us). We are not severely confining her or giving her a terrible life. We love her! She goes on 4 walks and has playtimes. We can’t take her to the dog park yet as she hasn’t got her rabies vaccine. I have never owned puppy, hence not experienced to raise one. This is my first experience, hence a little overwhelmed. I am not expecting it to be smooth, but I agree I need to change my attitude and look at it more as an adventure than an ordeal. That’s a good perspective. My puppies behaviour towards me and my wife is very different. All the things I experience on walks and home, my wife doesn’t. Our puppy listens to my wife, but adamant with me, probably it’s the difference in the way we communicate with her. I will watch and adapt how I can I communicate better. Housebreaking a puppy even for pees (when your puppy pees 20 times in a day and when you live in high rise apartment, and building management intolerant to accidents) isn’t feasible. What’s feasible for you may not be feasible for others. There is no one size that fits all! So housetraining her is very important. From what I have learnt from friends, some puppies train early while some take longer. I would like to get suggestions from people who have had similar experiences with their puppies who take longer in similar environments and understand how they have dealt with it.
 

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Hello,

I appreciate your feedback but not the judgements (without knowing us). We are not severely confining her or giving her a terrible life. We love her! She goes on 4 walks and has playtimes. We can’t take her to the dog park yet as she hasn’t got her rabies vaccine. I have never owned puppy, hence not experienced to raise one. This is my first experience, hence a little overwhelmed.....Housebreaking a puppy even for pees (when your puppy pees 20 times in a day and when you live in high rise apartment, and building management intolerant to accidents) isn’t feasible. What’s feasible for you may not be feasible for others. There is no one size that fits all!...
This isn't about judgement, it's the reality of the facts you've given us. A highrise is the most difficult situation to raise a puppy in and that isn't the puppy's fault. You may love your dog very much but that doesn't change the fact that at 4 months of age, she needs much more exercise and enrichment than what she's getting. She should not be going to a dog park as a puppy, but it's up to you to get creative, play games and teach tricks, don't bring her back indoors from a walk until she's eliminated, keep her crated when you can't watch her. Feed her on a schedule - two times a day. She is not getting the lessons she needs to be housetrained and it's up to you to figure this out. She needs to have her schedule adjusted. There are books to help, "House Training For Dummies" is a good one if you haven't read a book on how crate training works. The time and effort you invest in getting this right now will affect the rest of this dog's life and if she will have 10 years of quality or not. This is on you. Golden Retrievers were developed as hunting dogs - they are a sporting breed, not a lapdog, you purchased a hunting dog, brought her into a high rise apartment and are understandably frustrated that it's not an easy situation. The only agenda here is to help you see that this isn't the dog's fault and that you have to make changes. Use the search feature to bring up old threads, here are some I found: apartment potty training thread and apartment potty training thread and apartment training and training thread and apartment potty training help.
 

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I'm so sorry you are having trouble with your puppy. I hope it helps to know you are not alone! The forum is full of threads from puppy owners who are frustrated and not enjoying their new puppy. Puppies are a lot of work! A first time puppy owner living in a high-rise apartment will find housebreaking a puppy particularly challenging. The threads that Nolefan posted should help get you started with some ideas. There are many other helpful threads here in the forum; I encourage you to use the search function to search things like "crate training," "land shark," "puppy biting," "puppy leash training," etc. You can also find some good online resources (Kikopup is one that is often recommended, as is the "Life with Rune" Facebook page, which has a library of "guides" for raising a Golden puppy throughout its first year of life.

I do agree that some of your problems are stemming from unrealistic expectations of your puppy. These two articles may help you gain a new perspective of things from your puppy's point of view:

Hang in there!
 

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I'm sorry this pup isn't meeting your expectations- of course, had you brought in a human infant, someone would have invested in learning about babies..
dk if agree w the 'expanding area' during crate training. Impatient humans tend to move that along too fast to be successful. I'd tell you to crate train her THEN worry about expanding her area. And little puppies need free play time, more so than walks... while it's nice you are walking her, when one lives in an apartment and is not on ground floor, the free play outside never happens unless it's in a dangerous way like a dog park.
If I were you, I'd call breeder about returning her so she can live a normal life for a Golden and get yourself some little lap dog or a hamster.
 

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Puppies are not "fun" for the most part, they are lots and lots of work and constant potty trips, biting, and training. If you yell at or hit the puppy you are not teaching them anything except that you are dangerous and untrustworthy, so keep that in mind when you want to scold her.

You picked a high energy hunting breed. They are mouthy, chewy and bitey. You live in a high rise, so you're going to have to spend a lot of time going outside if you want to potty train the puppy. They need to go outside every 20 minutes. They have small bladders and very poor control over them for months.

Some dogs eat poop.

Training is an all day everyday affair, not just when a trainer comes. So you must be training the puppy all the time, every interaction is a training opportunity.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I'm sorry this pup isn't meeting your expectations- of course, had you brought in a human infant, someone would have invested in learning about babies..
dk if agree w the 'expanding area' during crate training. Impatient humans tend to move that along too fast to be successful. I'd tell you to crate train her THEN worry about expanding her area. And little puppies need free play time, more so than walks... while it's nice you are walking her, when one lives in an apartment and is not on ground floor, the free play outside never happens unless it's in a dangerous way like a dog park.
If I were you, I'd call breeder about returning her so she can live a normal life for a Golden and get yourself some little lap dog or a hamster.
You are right, we didn’t do enough research before getting a puppy, but I don’t regret my decision one bit. I always wanted to have a Golden Retriever, hence got one home. I am just overwhelmed, and it’s normal to be overwhelmed. If we weren’t trying our best, there was no reason to be. In fact in order to get her home we changed our apartment to a place next to a wonderful dog park. In fact every other family here owns a big dog and probably another hamster. However, our puppy is too young to bring her to the park and leave her off leash, so long walks around the park is what we do daily. She gets tired easily, and will lay flat and refuse to walk, and then I have to carry her back home. She loves the free play but it’s only when we can bring her to a secluded part of the park. We also have a lot of activity puzzles and other toys which she plays with, but gets bored very easily. Our biggest concern is the toilet training, because if we can’t take her out every 15 mins (living in a high rise) we don’t want her to be confined in the pen either. We are thinking about crate training, and we will have our trainer to come and advise. Anyways, if you are here to help cut the judgement and just offer advice. Your feedback wasn’t really helpful. But anyways thanks for taking the time. You can go ahead and tell other new puppy owners who are overwhelmed to go and return their puppies but that isn’t going to help them or the puppy. Not everyone who owns a golden is a hunter or lives in a farm! This is just a phase, a fun yet difficult phase but we will get through it, and I will learn. Thank you!
 

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Little puppies need taking out often- every half hour the first couple weeks. They need to be in a very small crate when there are not eyes on them. Being in a high rise, you cannot do what normal people would do, catch beginning of squat, pickup and carry out. So your living situation has you at a disadvantage and puppy at a greater one.
We don't agree- returning pup is oftentimes the best situation. I care only about puppy and puppy's ability to have a happy life. I can't imagine the breeder knowing you were in a highrise and still selling you a puppy.
 

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Do you have an outdoor patio/balcony of any sort? It's going to be really challenging to take her out as often as she needs to go, and as quickly as she needs to go, in a high rise. What a lot of people in similar situations have done is to establish a potty area on their balcony, or barring that, maybe in a bathroom?, but ideally in an area away from her crate or pen. It's ideal if you can set up a shallow pan with fake or real grass, but even a large litter box filled with shavings or wood pellets (maybe with a "piddle pad" on the bottom for the scent) might work. Then, whenever you sense that the puppy needs to urinate or defecate, pick her up and carry her straight to her "spot." Praise her lavishly if she uses the box. This is similar to what many breeders do to start house breaking the puppies before they go home - basically there is a wood-shaving filled tray outside the main puppy area and the puppies slowly learn that that is the spot to "go" in.

They do make some commercial products for this purpose, but I don't know if they'll be available in your country.

Have you spoken with the others in your high-rise who have dogs? It would be interesting and informative to learn how they accomplished housebreaking a new puppy...
 

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Start over. Forget everything that you've done so far. It sounds like the puppy hasn't been correctly trained and your expectations doesn't match reality. Read through the threads and resources given here on how to crate train a puppy, which is an important part of bathroom training and will give a solid foundation for the puppy to start with. Be patient, don't move on to the next stage of training until she's shown that she can consistently do the previous step.

Edit: You might want to read Bbefore You Get a Puppy and After you Get your Puppy by Ian Dunbar. Its a good starting point in easy to understand terms and is only like 100 pages per book. A google search will find a free pdf version.

As you're restarting your training, make sure to form a bond with the puppy. You mention that it listens to your wife, but not you. Watch and ask her how she interacts with the puppy for some ideas maybe. Make sure to be active in feeding, training, and playing with the puppy. Find out what motivates her. Once you are able to 'speak' with her, you'll begin to understand her better which will help train her. If you haven't done puppy classes, sign up for that. They'll teach you how to work together with your dog and the proper method for reinforcing good behaviors.
 

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Not everyone who owns a golden is a hunter or lives in a farm!
True. But every golden still is a hunting breed with the tendencies and instincts of the breed. (Some more than others admittedly) As a hunting breed they are going to be higher energy, mouthy and need more training than some other types of dogs. You're not going to be able to lose your temper and scold them for natural behaviors for the breed. If you exercise patience and understanding of the breed you will have a great dog. If you try to make the dog be something it isn't, you'll always have issues.
 

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By 4 months I expect my puppies to be completely crate trained. This means no accidents in the crate. It is 100% my responsibility to make sure this happens. The high rise is an added challenge, but one you were fully aware of when you made the decision to bring this puppy home. When my puppies are in the beginning stages of crate training my biggest priority is making sure they are successful at not having an accident.

Here’s a very simple version. Take puppy out of crate. Carry it outside and let it be outside until it pees/poops. Take puppy back in for 20-30 minutes of supervised play. Walk puppy again and place it back in the crate for one hour. Keep repeating. As you reach success with this amount of time slowly increase by 15 min.

I never look at a puppy having an accident in the house as their fault, but mine. I clearly didn’t do my job in training them. Every-time it happens I look at the entire situation and change what went wrong.
 

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Here's the most important thing: IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!!
This puppy is still super young (4 months). But as others said, you need to start over. Pretend you just rescued a 4 month old from the pound who hasn't had a good life so far. Do your research NOW!
My very first puppy, I took more than a month of time off. I think that maybe that wasn't necessary, but immensely helpful. The combination of being a clueless owner (you can do all the research you want, ****'s gonna hit the fan) and a very young puppy is usually best navigated if the puppy is your only priority. Many people recommend taking 2 weeks off. Now that I know much more about pups and dogs, I don't think I need that month. But I'm taking it off for my new puppy this year anyway because it's worth it. I've saved vacation days for years planning for this. So do that now. Take time off work, do your research, and make your puppy your only priority. Even an old dog can learn new tricks, but a puppy is still very easy to train and mold.
Also, my first pup was a lab (similar enough to goldens for all intents and purposes), and I also lived in an apartment (once you have to go into an elevator to get out, I don't think it matters so much how many floors anyway). It was challenging at first, but it worked. Why? Because every morning at 7AM, I went to a park (not dog park) and played with her for an hour. I repeated this every 2-3 hours (even once I was back to work). Puppies are harder than kids at first. But luckily they grow up and mature faster. This only happens correctly if you put in the time.
If you can't, it hurts my heart to see pups given back or re-homed. It breaks my heart to see a pup that should have been given up or re-homed.
Don't forget the creed: there are no bad dogs, only bad owners.
 

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You are right, we didn’t do enough research before getting a puppy, but I don’t regret my decision one bit. I always wanted to have a Golden Retriever, hence got one home. I am just overwhelmed, and it’s normal to be overwhelmed. If we weren’t trying our best, there was no reason to be. In fact in order to get her home we changed our apartment to a place next to a wonderful dog park. In fact every other family here owns a big dog and probably another hamster. However, our puppy is too young to bring her to the park and leave her off leash, so long walks around the park is what we do daily. She gets tired easily, and will lay flat and refuse to walk, and then I have to carry her back home. She loves the free play but it’s only when we can bring her to a secluded part of the park. We also have a lot of activity puzzles and other toys which she plays with, but gets bored very easily. Our biggest concern is the toilet training, because if we can’t take her out every 15 mins (living in a high rise) we don’t want her to be confined in the pen either. We are thinking about crate training, and we will have our trainer to come and advise. Anyways, if you are here to help cut the judgement and just offer advice. Your feedback wasn’t really helpful. But anyways thanks for taking the time. You can go ahead and tell other new puppy owners who are overwhelmed to go and return their puppies but that isn’t going to help them or the puppy. Not everyone who owns a golden is a hunter or lives in a farm! This is just a phase, a fun yet difficult phase but we will get through it, and I will learn. Thank you!
 

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Do you have access to a balcony where you can set up a potty station (think fake grass on a platform over a grate with a puppy pad underneath to catch the urine and can be easily changed/cleaned up) or a walk-in shower you are comfortable training her to use as a wee station? I ask because we were literally only a 20 minute potty timer until Molly was like 5 or 6 months old. If she wasn't peeing at 20 minutes we put her in the crate and tried again in 5 minutes. Which might not be feasible when you are in a high rise (thinking the sheer time to go from timer goes off, get puppy leashed, walk to elevator/stairs, go downstairs, find a suitable potty space, come back home).

I had pretty much the EASIEST set up (single story home with a fenced backyard) and I was overwhelmed with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY PUPPIES. It's a huge transition to go from "no puppy" to "ahh puppy!" but it does get better. Every day you have a wealth of interactions to help train both of you to make your lives easier.

My puppies behaviour towards me and my wife is very different. All the things I experience on walks and home, my wife doesn’t. Our puppy listens to my wife, but adamant with me, probably it’s the difference in the way we communicate with her. I will watch and adapt how I can I communicate better.
My partner has the same complaint. Molly will do things for me that he just can't get from her (mainly I get to be lazy and stand at the door watching them and they will come back to the door vs me having to go get them and Molly fetches for me and won't for him... BUT he gets calm Molly. She'll stand next to him and just be chill and get pets. But she wants to be laying on top of me checking a bone in my face or chewing on my arm or pulling my hair, etc) I think it boils down to what your puppy sees you as. I'm the fun one who plays with her all the time but I also don't put up with her ****. She doesn't want to come inside? Ok. I will hunt you down and leash you and we will do the walk of shame back to the house. Every single time she comes in when called... she gets rewarded. Go figure she likes coming when I call. Same with fetch. She gets the ball I throw a party cause she brought it back (vs playing chase me). Now she loves brining me things (can't stop, she even gets bottles off tables to bring them to me... she counter surfed a hot sauce packet off the kitchen counter and then brought it to me). Puppies are silly riots. You just gotta know what you want her to do and then reward what you want and discourage/redirect what you don't.
 
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