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Debbie624
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Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas. Today marked the first Christmas without Callie, the love of my life. The busyness of the day made it more tolerable but it certainly hit me like a ton of bricks when we went to take our traditional family picture including my mom's dog and brother's dog and our families in front of our Christmas tree. And here we were without my baby. I "included" her in the pic by holding one of her favorite stuffed animals, which I happen to carry around wherever I go still, as we took the pic. Its been 5 months since we lost her and I know many probably think its silly that as a grown adult, that I carry her "baby" with me whenever I leave the house and sleep with her. It makes me feel close to her. My heart still aches every day. We have all been longing for another golden and are currently on a waitlist for a future litter and I pray and pray this will happen soon. No one will ever be able to replace my Callie but I long for a void to be filled. Thanks to everyone on this forum who have been supportive to me and help me search for the right breeder. And Merry Christmas to all of you, your families, and your pups.
 
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Merry Christmas to you too. I recently lost my female and was thinking of her yesterday so yesterday was a very tough day for me. Although I was at my sister's house I got depressed and moody thinking of her. I think that the holidays this time of year can bring that on. Nothing is silly, we need to grieve. This too shall pass, there are better days ahead. Have a Happy New Year!
 

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Merry Christmas. I understand your sadness, holidays are tough after the loss of a loved one, and you clearly loved Callie.

Good luck on finding a new pup to love, each one holds a special place in our heart.
 

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I still miss my Honeybear who died in 1999 but it's not as painful as it once was. I think about all my bridge dogs on Christmas and the different way each one liked unwrapping gifts and getting new toys. A new puppy won't replace your sweet Callie but it does ease the hurt. Do whatever helps you get through it. If keeping her toy helps you it's not silly.
 

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Debbie624
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Thank you, everyone, for the supportive words. Yes, Christmas certainly brings back the memories. She loved opening presents. She will always be with me and time does make the pain heal. I wasn't able to look at her pics or videos for a long time but now find myself always wanting to look at them. Wishing you all healing times as well.
 
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The "first" are always the hardest, I'm sorry yesterday was a hard and sad day for you without your special girl.
 

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I totally understand. This is our first Christmas as well without our Buddy. No buying of toys and treats to stuff into his stocking, no gift opening attempts, and no picture taking around the Christmas tree. It was a bittersweet Christmas . I am in the same boat as you - hoping to get another Golden and hoping 2019 will be an answer to our prayers. Hope you have better days filled with wonderful memories of your Callie!
 

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Debbie624
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Thank you. I too am sorry for your loss of Buddy. Susan, when did you lose your Buddy? Just curious, was he your first golden? Callie was our first golden and I never knew the specialness of goldens until we got her. We had dogs before her and they were special as well but there is something about goldens that I can't explain. With my other 2 girls, I said I would never get another (American Eskimo, and terrier) because would be too hard. So I was surprised to find myself wanting another golden. But I feel like I long for another golden. It scares me though because I can't imagine going through the pain again, esp since goldens are prone to health problems and we lost our Callie completely unexpectedly at only 8 years old. She was completely healthy and no indication of any problems other than the partially torn ACL. We lost her 3 weeks post TTA surgery from a suspected blood clot. I've written about this on this forum many times as I have searched and searched for answers but have to live with knowing I will never know or understand what really happened. My heart is broken as I know yours is too. Wondering if you find yourself anxious to get another. Wishing you peace at this difficult time.
 

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This was my second Christmas without my Zoey girl. She was my heart dog. I still miss her so much. I completely understand your pain.... it is very similar to my own. We brought our boy Bentley home on February 23rd of this year. We lost Zoey February 2017. Bentley will never take Zoeys place but he sure did help fill the void. I love my boy so much and I’m so thankful for him everyday. I hope you find comfort. Xo
 

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Debbie624
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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks. I am sorry too for your loss of Zoe. She is beautiful as is your Bentley. Zoe looks like my Callie girl. My heart aches and I am looking forward to getting another golden. But no one can ever replace Callie. And at the same time, I have mixed feelings bc I don't want to fall in love with another and then not think about my baby girl anymore and I have anxiety about getting another in case the next golden lives a short life too. A whole lot of mixed emotions, that's for sure. We lost Callie at 8, she had just had her 8th birthday. All this said, I have been in touch with her dad's original breeder and have put a deposit down for a future litter. I figure when the time is right and when God is ready for us to have another golden come into our life, then it will happen. There are no breedings planned, but the breeder is thinking maybe will happen for a spring litter.
 

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My heart is hurting this holiday season as well, since it was our first without Brinkley. It's never easy. I'm sorry for your loss as well.
 

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Thanks. I am sorry too for your loss of Zoe. She is beautiful as is your Bentley. Zoe looks like my Callie girl. My heart aches and I am looking forward to getting another golden. But no one can ever replace Callie. And at the same time, I have mixed feelings bc I don't want to fall in love with another and then not think about my baby girl anymore and I have anxiety about getting another in case the next golden lives a short life too. A whole lot of mixed emotions, that's for sure. We lost Callie at 8, she had just had her 8th birthday. All this said, I have been in touch with her dad's original breeder and have put a deposit down for a future litter. I figure when the time is right and when God is ready for us to have another golden come into our life, then it will happen. There are no breedings planned, but the breeder is thinking maybe will happen for a spring litter.
Our stories are very similar.... Zoey passed suddenly just a couple weeks after her 9th birthday. She just fell over and was gone within 17 minutes...I love Ben but he will never take the place in my heart for Zoey. It’s like having 2 children, you love them both with your whole heart in different ways. You have more love to share. You have so much to offer!

Everything happens for a reason... what is meant to be will be! I had contacted Zoey’s dads original breeder as well. She wasn’t planning any litters so I looked locally. My local breeder had 3 females that were bred. Unfortunately I was on the waiting list and once the puppies were born, there wasn’t a puppy for me.... fast forward to the beginning of February, my heart was broken as we passed what would have been Zoey’s 10th birthday. Then I got the call.... someone couldn’t take their pup and they wanted to know if I was still interested in a puppy. I ugly cried.... I couldn’t even speak. We brought our boy home on February 23rd (our human boys birthday). It was meant to be.

In memory of my girl, I had her paw print tattooed on my shoulder with the saying “I’ll meet you at the bridge”. She will always be with me. And one day we will be reunited.

I hope you can find the same peace that I have and that you can fill the void. I will always love and miss my girl but she would want me to love again. And Callie would want the same for you.
Xo
 

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Debbie624
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Discussion Starter #13
Brinkley the golden, I am so sorry that you too are experiencing your loss of your Brinkley. This is never easy and the holidays make it so much harder. As others have said here, the firsts are always the worst. Wishing you peace and healing.
 

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Brinkley the golden, I am so sorry that you too are experiencing your loss of your Brinkley. This is never easy and the holidays make it so much harder. As others have said here, the firsts are always the worst. Wishing you peace and healing.
Thank you. His loss was especially hard for us since he was only 5. It's never easy. Peace and healing to you as well.
 

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Debbie624
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Discussion Starter #15
Thank you. His loss was especially hard for us since he was only 5. It's never easy. Peace and healing to you as well.
It must be especially hard bc you only had him for 5 years. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Callie had just turned 8 and I felt so robbed bc I felt she had so many years left bc she was all puppy. She was a young girl. I am so sorry you had a short time with Brinkley but as someone here has said in other posts, to focus on the blessings we had, even though short, rather than focusing on the years we don't have. I know that is easier said than done. I believe in the power of prayer and time to heal our broken hearts. Wishing you peace.
 
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