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Discussion Starter #1
Hello Friends,
As some of you might know, we lost our beloved Cara some months ago. She was only seven. For the past two or so years we were using a mobile groomer who came to us on a regular basis. I had a very good relationship with one of the owners, who was generally our groomer, and met her husband as well. When Cara became ill I sent them the following email:

"Hi [Names],
I'm sorry to say that Cara has just been diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma and in the best case scenario will be with us for only a few more months. On August 3 a splenic mass was discovered in an emergency vet exam. Aside from her allergies she has always been healthy but on that evening odd behavior sent us to the emergency place. Since then we had a variety of scans done, concluding with surgery to remove the mass and the tumor last Friday. Today we learned the bad news. Unfortunately, there aren't any treatments for this type of cancer.

She is acting fine. (We are not.) Appetite is excellent and she is just missing her daily routine since she's confined to the bottom floor until her post-op exam and suture removal.

I knew you would want to know.

Fondly,
Helaine"


We never heard back from these people. No acknowledgement, nothing. We would ordinarily receive a reminder notice from them and at least a card at Christmas. Last year, they gave us a frame with Cara's portrait. This year, nada, zip. All they had to do was reply to the e-mail with a "sorry," but nothing. No matter how we pickle this thing it's a case of simply not caring.

Has anyone else ever experienced such a thing? As it happens, we have just welcomed a new pup into our family. One would think that might have occurred to them -- a new client.
 

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I agree with goldlover, some cannot deal and therefore are unable to appropriately express themselves, especially through email.

I don't think this is a case of them not communicating because of the loss of a client. Considering it's an e-mail maybe it didn't reach their inbox for some reason or was overlooked. For a company it can be very easy to overlook an email, especially in their profession of mobile grooming.

Maybe shoot them another email regarding possibly grooming your new puppy. I'm sure once they come through for an appointment and see your face they'll address what has happened to Cara, especially if they had a good relationship with her and you.
 

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I miss my Buddy
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I am very sorry for your loss, I know how you feel, in May will be 3 years since I lost my Buddy.

This is my sad story.

The day I lost my Buddy I sent an e-mail to his groomer of 9 years we saw once a month, she moved 3 times and we stayed with her, last move was 45 minutes drive, outside of the city. Never heard a word back, in my e-mail I said "Thank you for being our a true friend for those 9 years."
I had doggy walk buddy of 9 years too, from the neighborhood, we talked on the phone every day to arrange the time for our walk, I phoned her too that day, she phoned back first time to check on me, one month later to the day.
I had a vet who sent out samples to vet school lab to be tested 2 weeks before I lost my Buddy, never got results back, I insisted in person, phoned and picked up my Bud's file and nothing was there, I paid for it couple hundred dollars.
I was hurt by all 3 of them in the hardest time of my life. If you read my "I miss my Buddy" thread I wrote in my first posting on this forum 5 weeks after I lost my Buddy you will know like many on this forum how truly heartbroken I was. Thanks to this forum for tremendous support and understanding, and my Charlie now, I am brought back to life.

 

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Kate
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Some people do not handle death very well - and might not be in a profession where they learn to handle it very well.

My vets have all cried with my family and sent us cards with thoughts from them written down.... my horse vet did what she could to make sure I got the sympathy card long before I got the last bill.... our trainers cried with us, the breeders where the dogs came from.... they cried with us and reminisced.

A groomer might not have that same kind experience. Who knows.

I probably would feel weird going back there though.
 

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Mom to Oatmeal too!
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My groomer for Cookie has pretty much been with her, her whole life and when I wrote a thank you card to her to let her know how much I appreciated all the extra care and attention she gave Cookie during Cookie's fight with osteosarcoma. Within days, she sent me a sympathy card back with all of the great memories she had of Cookie. It definitely felt nice that someone else felt the lost of Cookie.

I'm sorry you didn't get to experience that with your groomer.
 

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I agree with the others that have commented that there are those that are at a loss when confronted with death and knowing how to handle it. I've been in retail pet supplies for over 35 years and I can't count how many times I've cried with my customers after the loss of their pet. But...a lot of my co-workers over the years have not been able to handle it and stay away during those times.

I have a thread in the RB section of this forum concerning the 6th anniversary of Savanah's passing. I was at first hurt that I only received a few replies, but then I knew that it's not a reflection of how many people care, it's just a difficult area for a lot of people to read.

So I do believe that your groomer felt sadness at the news, but was just unsure of how to respond.
 

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every moment is a gift
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I completely understand what you're feeling.

Our Dr moved a few short months before my girl was diagnosed with cancer. Before moving, the Dr had asked that I keep in touch because we were considered favorite patient/owners. I shared the news in a heartfelt email, but received no response in return. At the time, I thought that maybe there was an email "problem" and decided to continue sending informative emails, but still never received a reply.

When I later learned that our old vet had seen a mutual friend and had mentioned my girl's diagnosis, I quit sending the emails. I was so hurt - a simple I'm sorry, I'm thinking of you or anything would have meant the world and only taken a few seconds.
 

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I have an easier time replying to those type of things to people I barely know than to people that are close to me. I don't know why. I think part of it is I am afraid to upset them if they are having a good day in terms of mourning.
 

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Not everyone deals with death in the same way. I know I can empathize with people when they have lost their pets because I have been through it myself. On the other hand, I wasn't very good at saying or doing the right thing when someone lost a spouse, parent or child because I had never been through that. Once I lost my mom, I found that I am a lot more empathetic and can say and do the right things when someone loses a family member.

I also had many people at work avoid me after my mom died. They didn't know what to say, and that was okay with me. I understood and accepted that.

I am very sorry for your loss. Eventually the pain will fade. Hopefully your new pup will help your heart heal.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Thank you all for your replies. We have no doubt that the message was received since our names were removed from their routine follow-ups. The groomer would typically email me every two months or so and further, emailing was our typical means of communicating. The lack or any kind of acknowledgement was just very disappointing -- and mysterious -- to us. Also, we know they are still in business; we see their trucks and read reviews on the various rating sites.
 
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