Bush would print up the "Mission Accomplished" banners.
Obama would dazzle Bush with his basketball prowess (Bush was a cheerleader in college).
Cheney would put out a no-bid contract to Halliburton for mercenaries, but I don't think he could help himself and would shoot them both himself for the enjoyment.
Then Glenn Beck would talk about the conspiracy to injure Bush. Rush would say that Bush lost because he was such a liberal. CNN would report that someone heard illegal firecrackers. Cramer would wildly yell that this could signal a great opportunity for the stock market. AIG would give their executives 5 billion dollars in bonuses to celebrate the event. Sarah Palin would say it was the death squads of evil polar bears that did it. And Joe Biden would say, "Huh?"
Did I miss anyone?