Golden Retriever Dog Forums banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Maybe someone living in Ontario whos gone to University or College can help. But anyone can offer advice.

Long story short. When my mother passed away 5.5 years ago my father remarried and his "new wife" didnt like me so therefore he asked me to move out and stopped speaking with me. He never paid for me to do anything.

So now hes been living with this "new Wife" and my sister is graduating high school in 2012. She wants to go to college but her fees for the 2 year course is $14,000. She tried to apply for OSAP (Ontario Student Assistant program) and they laughed at her because my father makes $200,000 a year and they said he can pay for it. My father REFUSES to pay for any of her schooling. So now, because my sister cannot get a loan she cannot go to college. So now she doesnt know what to do.

The reason why we are all upset is he paid for my step mothers 2 kids to take culinary courses and paid for my cousin to go to University. Why wont he pay for his own DAUGHTER to go to college? He wont even loan her the money.

So now we were thinking about having her move in with us for a year and work. Take a year off school to work her butt off then apply for OSAP because at that time my fathers income shouldnt have anything to do with it as she hasnt lived with him for a year.

I dont mind helping her if I can and im sure my grandmother, other grandmother and Aunt would help her pay off some of it. But we couldnt afford more then a couple thousand.

He is so abusive to her and treats his new wifes kids like they are blood. Hes already pushed me so far away I wont even as much as say Hi to him anymore. It seems like hes trying to do the same crap with my sister. Shes only 17 will be 18 in April. last year for Christmas he left her and took his new wife and her kids to England to see family so she was at my place for Christmas and this year she wants to be to and I dont blame her. He took them to the Dominican this year and left her home.

It bothers everyone because he just doesnt care. He charges her rent and takes the $200 a month Orphans pension she gets as long as shes in school so hes preventing her from saving anything.

I feel so helpless :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,465 Posts
Emancipation ?? I know that's a huge step but the judge can rule that a minor is old enough to take care of themselves. Then your sister would have absolutely no ties to your father (and I say father because anyone can be a father, it takes a real man to be a DAD).

Another thing I could suggest is calling OSAP and having a discussion with one of their counselors. Explain the terms of the relationship.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
18,415 Posts
Move her out of his house now so that she can keep that $200 a month until she graduates. I'm so sorry things are this way for you both.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
She will be calling OSAP in fact I may as well. Shes just so upset because he said he would pay then he changed his mind. Also shes turning 18 in April, so what would emancipation do now? Or is it 19 the age of independance or something?

Shes telling me if she lives with him at all she wont get it. But if she lives with my granny "on her own" she will get it.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Move her out of his house now so that she can keep that $200 a month until she graduates. I'm so sorry things are this way for you both.
She cant, shes in her last semester in high school soon and shes an hour away from us. Also, the orphans pension she cannot get in her name till shes 18. She was going to move here as soon as school is out in May/June of 2012
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
788 Posts
That's a really crappy situation. I know when I was in college for the first time(I went twice), OSAP was really strict (probably more so now) where my dad doesn't even make that much and is the sole provider. Guess how much they offered me? $500. I didn't even bother taking it.

I agree with the other posters, have her call OSAP and maybe you should too just to back her up. I know they are really strict with that, especially if she is living with him. If that doesn't work, having her live with you for a year and work may be the best situation since your dad will have no legal say in her life anymore and OSAP should give her the full amount she needs by then.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,465 Posts
Yes, as long as she's living at home with a parent, they won't lend her the money. My fiance had the same problem.

He had to rent an apartment with his cousin in order to get approved. Her best bet is to move in with someone and claim "rent"
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
The issue with claiming rent is if she claims she pays let say $300 a month to my grandmother in rent. The Government as greedy as they are will then go look to see if my granny filed that rent on her taxes. Then they will rape her for even more money in taxes as she makes a little over what they "think" she should make.

My grandmother cannot afford to pay more taxes then what she is already being prodded for
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,950 Posts
I am old, but had a similar experience with my father. My parents divorced when I was ten. He paid the princely sum of 75 dollars a month for me and the same for my brother.
I turned 18 on the 20th of the month - he paid 50 for me that month. My brother turned 18 on the 10th, so my father paid 25 for him.
No money toward our college expenses, but he was able to buy lakehouses and ski shacks, and take trips with his second wife (there were a total of five before he died).
My brother and I managed to graduate college with a little help from my mother. We both held jobs during college.
Hang in there. And I am so sorry that your fahter is missing out on knowing how good you two are.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
525 Posts
Please do what you can to get your sister out of that abusive (yes, it is) situation. If you guys can afford to have her move in gratis for the time being, please do it. And, while she's in school, she needs to see the counselor to help her resolve the damage that your father has inflicted upon her. She needs to know and understand that she is a truly wonderful person who will succeed in life, and be happy.

As for your dad, he doesn't deserve you kids. And, take heart that one day, he will have to answer for all of this. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when he meets up w/your mom at the Pearly Gates. It's not gonna be pretty.
 

·
watching him grow so fast
Joined
·
347 Posts
Try getting in touch with a Family Law lawyer explain the situations, see if you can get some advice on legal options available to you. Also see if there are any stipulations in your mothers will. All in all though, with no offense intended at all, your father is a jerk. I'd be seeing about going after him for taking her money, because unless there was a legal written lease signed, I don't think he had any right to. Does she have proof shes paid him? I'd really suggest calling family services and a family lawyer... ideally one that might do pro bono cases now and then. There might be a legal loop hole but only a lawyer will really be able to see it if there is.

Other then that, my advice to you is move her out asap, weather its renting a room at a friends or family (for the same $200) or outright living with you, the faster shes out of there the better. Normally if you aren't living with your parents I believe you can be approved for osap, but with him making that much money... I'm not sure how that will play out. Try looking into scholarships and bursaries, I don't know anything about your family in terms of background and etc but there might be other options available to you. Also, if she is looking at becoming a doctor or nurse, there are actually incentive programs up north, generally closer to sudbury and timmins that will actually outright pay for your schooling if you can commit to living up there and working for I think its 4 years? I know someone who went for it but I don't know a lot about that, try researching the program and maybe there are options like that for other fields. Other then that give her a big hug and tell her you'll all figure it out, and that once shes out of there she wont have to worry about him anymore, hes clearly not someone to bother keeping around.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Sadly, my mom was a bit like him to. Mother and I never got along and she spoiled my sister rotton. We shall try our best to help my sister out though
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,950 Posts
That's a really tough situation...you might suggest she talk to a family law attorney. There are probably some free or low cost ones who do it as public service. Probably the best course is the one you outlined, to have her live with you outside her father's house for a year so she'd qualify for loans and student aid. Sorry to hear such stuff. I'm guessing that although all of this hurts both of you now, it will make you both stronger as adults. Small compensation for a uncaring father, I know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,950 Posts
Another thought--see if she can move out before the end of the year. That way your father can't list her as a dependent next year on his taxes. A lawyer could help with that situation. But if he continues to list her as a dependent, she'll be in the same boat a year from now. Maybe she could write a letter to him saying she's moving out on such and such a date, and send it registered mail...? Dunno.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,656 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
I think what everyone is worried about is that if she lives here and claims rent on her taxes my grandmother will have to pay on that rent.

I never claim rent on taxes and she doesnt claim what I give her. I dont think its law to have to claim rent so I dont think she has to. If she doesnt claim what she pays in rent on her taxes or claims it as "Room and Board" we will take her no issues.

No offence taken, ive know my father was a jerk for ages. When my mom died she wanted contributions made to her kids and we saw nothing from that. Not worth my time of day to sue him, wont hold me any happiness but my sister it might. I will talk to a few people and see what can be done

This "father" of mine got rid of Ruby when my mother died cause his new wife didnt like her. So I took her. Then he got a "Purebred" Snoodle :uhoh:, got rid of that 4 months later, got two kittens and he just got rid of them because they didnt like him...wth?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,174 Posts
Have your sister contact Legal Aid to discuss her situation and whether she can emancipate herself.

I don't know whether your sister can "wait" a semester or a year between high school & college but if she does that, she'll not be a dependant of your father and can apply on her own financial merit. That time will also give her enough time to take on a job to make some $$$$ for schooling. That old saying "Patience is a virtue" might apply here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Looni2ns

·
Mom to Bailey & Burgundy
Joined
·
4,217 Posts
Hmmmm.... Really crappy situation, I'm sorry you guys are going through this.

I had some friends whose parents made too much $$ for them to get OSAP, but they didnt get a dime from their parents. Not for selfish reasons like your dad, but because they had lots of other financial obligations...it just sucks for the kids! What a lot of them did, and I suggest you and your sister look into it...is getting a bank loan instead of OSAP...those friends that DID get OSAP are getting #@*!# right now in interest payments and stilllll paying their school off! IMO, its not really the great benefit to the students as the gov't wants you to believe!

Also, have your sister scour the internet for bursaries (there are TONS)...so many companies have a certain amount to give out per year. You have to fill out an application and/or submit an essay, but the time invested in applying to as many of those as possible will really pay off (sounds like your sister's story would make a pretty compelling essay). They may only be for $250 here or $500 there but they all add up and so many people don't even know they exist!

I wish you guys all the best xoxo
 

·
Mulligan & Samantha's Mom
Joined
·
1,263 Posts
Another thought--see if she can move out before the end of the year. That way your father can't list her as a dependent next year on his taxes. A lawyer could help with that situation. But if he continues to list her as a dependent, she'll be in the same boat a year from now. Maybe she could write a letter to him saying she's moving out on such and such a date, and send it registered mail...? Dunno.
That is similar to my thoughts (minus the moving out if you can't make that happen). If your father agrees NOT to list her as a dependent this year (even if technically she was) she should be able to file in the spring by herself. I'm not sure how it works in Ontario, but I know for FASFA in the US listing your parent's income is optional if you were not listed as a dependent the previous year.

The best way to find out is to look at the application and try clicking that she was not listed as a dependent. I know the option to list my parents still comes up (I'm 26 and in graduate school- completely on my own), but I'm able to decline it because I wasn't listed as a dependent in the last year.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
140 Posts
let your sister move in. talk to the authorities
about your father. prepare for the cold truth
that your father might not want to have anything
to do with the 2 of you. this seperation your father
is causing could change. at that point you and your sister
have to decide if you're going to accept him. you and your sister
be strong and stay together.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
277 Posts
i don't know how different things are from Alberta to Ontario, but a friend of mine in college is 21 and he was able to get his dad to sign some paper stating there was no financial help from him and this student was able to then apply for funding. perhaps try talking to a counselor at the college/university? also maybe she could apply for bursaries? i know our teacher gave us a list of bursaries offered in our area that not many people apply for, so the money just sits there month after month. might be an idea to check into.
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top