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Willow
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9 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I am appealing to anyone who has invented a "Sadness Pill!" I need several! One week ago we had two beautiful, sweet, loving 11 year old Goldens, Annie & Jack. As of Tuesday, we have only Jack, The Man of My Dreams!

Last Fall Annie had a malignant tumor reoved from her left back leg, a fairly large tumor. We were so encouraged that she recovered well and had not had any recurrence. She was her happy, always happy, loving, wanting to please Annie, that we adored! Several weeks ago she developed a limp in the same leg, nothing big, vet thought perhaps an injury, and treated it as such. The limp became worse, another trip to vet, she was put on steriods, still no improvement. A week ago Saturday she had a seizure, scared us to death, never having seen a dog experience that before, and it so scared our precious Annie. When we returned to the vet on Monday, he checked her over and with difficulty told us the cancer had metastasized. My husband ask vet how long he believed she had. When he answered "two weeks" we were stunned and instantly grief stricken. Little did we know, it would not be two weeks, but rather 24 hours. We took her home, she ate (normally) and later in the evening had another seizure, then another. But we maintained some glimmer of hope, just any hope (denial). By Tuesday afternoon she was so sick, she could barely get up and unable to urinate.
Although the phone call to the vet was one of the most difficult I have ever made, we knew we had to, in order to stop her suffering.

My husband carried that precious girl to the car for her last ride.? I have never been with a dog during the process of euthanasia, never believed I could endure it, but we owed so much to that little girl for all she has given us, we both stayed with her and held her tight, sobbing throughout. Afterwards we stayed with her longer and cried and cried over her. My grief is paralyzing. There are still moments I feel I can't breathe!

The adjustment will never be complete. Today I have one (wonderful) Golden, Jack, to let out to do his business, while I fill one pan with food, have only one head to stroke, one dog bed full at night, one Golden to ride in the back seat of the car, half the amount of gorgeous Golden fur to sweep up. So much of my life has centered around Jack & Annie, it will be difficult in every way without her, even referencing them as Jack, no Annie.

Jack is a big magnificent boy, quiet, independent, clumsy "couch potato," who heads for the back door as soon as he sees me with my purse. I can never resist those big brown eyes, (you all know the look) so he gets to go, and he loves it, looks about like a six year old child sitting in the back seat. As we drive along, people see him and instantly smile.
Annie on the other hand, was an "in your face" girl, with a toy in her mouth almost every waking hour. She was always happy, tail wagging, and her only wish was to know what she could do to please us even more.
Our house is so quiet without her and our hearts deeply bruised. We move forward, but always with beautiful memories of a beautiful girl and wishing we could have Annie once again.

Even though their personalities are so opposite, never sleeping together, Annie making sure she always got first notice, I worry about Jack missing her. They were littermates.

Even though I am so grateful for the 11 years we had her, it would be impossible to not want them both forever!

If anyone has read this, my apologies for droning on, I'm at a loss of what else to do with my grief. I know there will be happier days, but for now the pain is raw!?

Jan
lover of dogs, worshiper of Goldens!
 

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We have all been where you are and can feel the pain in your post. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's difficult to endure, but we somehow do it again and again. I hope each day is a little easier to remember the wonderful memories you shared.
 
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The pain is raw, I lost my two to cancer in October, and January; it is still very raw. Enjoy your Jack now and give him extra hugs. Annie will always be with you in your heart, and with time the tears will turn to smiles for the wonderful times you had together. I am so sorry, sending you hugs!
 

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Opus and Tasha
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3,992 Posts
Triever ... Reading about your pain renews my own. But I think what you have done here will help. I found both writing and talking about our girl helped me. So drone on whenever you feel the urge. We're listening.
 

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So so sorry for your loss. I too recently lost my last golden, her buddy a few months before. It has been 6 weeks and I am able to get through the day and maybe only cry once when a thought of her comes by. Time does take a little of the sharp edge off. I hope you find some comfort during this hard time.
 

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Momma to angel Cody
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5,044 Posts
Jan, my condolences on your precious Annie having to get her angel wings. There is no grief quite like losing a beloved animal companion. It took me eight months to actually breathe when my Cody left this earth. Allow yourselves the time, the tears and the space to get used to living without Annie's physical presence. And kiss Jack a lot. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.
 

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Willow
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9 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Thank you for all the kind words and sincere feelings behind them. Just to write about our beautiful Annie is therapeutic, and I thank you for your interest. I want to post her picture, and one of "The Man of My Dreams," Jack as soon as I figure how to do so. When I click on the photo icon it asks for a url, and that's above my grade. I'm used to being ask to select from my photo album. Hopefully I will get that part resolved soon.
All the best to all who have had the good fortune of owning a precious Golden.
 

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I am so sorry. What a beautiful post and tribute to Annie.
 

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I'm so sorry. Hugs to you! I wonder if it gets easier? It's truly heartbreaking. I'd love to see a pic of sweet Annie

I have the app (not using the regular site) on my phone. Pictures are easy on the app. Just grab from photo roll. Try the app. Very easy
 

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Willow
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9 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
I want to share a photo of our beautiful Annie, now gone for three days. I still can't believe it, I don't want to believe it! I miss her "everything!" Our family is missing her presence, her sweetness, her beautiful face, her love, her toys strewn all over the house. Annie was a precious girl in every way

 

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Now Caue's Dad Too!
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37,489 Posts
So very sorry for your loss. I've been in your position before and can feel your pain. Take the time you need but I highly recommend that you get yourself a backup puppy as soon as you are able. From someone who has been through this it does wonders. The new pup will never be a replacement but will give you the boost you need.
 

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Willow
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Discussion Starter #18
Meet Jack, "The Man of My Dreams!" Jack is Annie's brother, and thankfully we have him to guide us through the loss of our precious girl! Jack is a quiet fellow, keeps his opinions to himself, unlike his sister! I know he must miss Annie, but too proud to show it, and besides it would take too much effort, cut one of his naps short. He, however was an excellent big brother to her, always standing back letting her take a drink first, even though there has always been two water bowls, side by side. He always let her get in the car first, like a true gentleman, and allowed her more space while riding, even though he is much larger than she was. Very difficult referring to Annie as "was."
My husband and I went to dinner tonight, took our i-Pads and scrolled through pictures of both pups, quietly weeping at the ones of Annie. Oh my, she was a precious girl! And Jack is a handsome boy for sure! ImageUploadedByPG Free1392971770.961981.jpg


Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 

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I am so sorry over your loss. As I was reading your words I relived the loss of my heart dog, my Cassie. That car ride, that horrible horrible car ride is something I'll never forget. You will never truly heal, but there will be a scab over the wound, which will open at expected and sometimes unexpected times. They give so much, these dogs do. They give their all. All we can do is take in their unending grace and their glory and return our gratitude and our love. And one day, somehow, you will find yourself smiling over Annie's memory instead of sobbing at her loss. That will be her last grace to you.

Hug your Jack closely. He needs you very much at this time.

Hugs to you and your husband.
 
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