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Chester's mom
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not sure if this is the right place for this... im really new here :eek: I registered because I am planning to get another golden puppy this summer from Tashora :). My dog passed away a year ago and I did not think I would ever be able to move on, but now a year later it looks like I really want another golden. York came from Russia with my family when we all moved, his parents were from Belgium. He was truly the best dog, I am still heartbroken and the pain isn't any worse a year later when I really think about it.
I decided to get a puppy when my cat passed away during a really complex 7000$ surgery 3 weeks ago. That night, I truly felt empty. And now with only one kitty left at my parents house, I just feel lonely. I am so beyond excited for my new puppy, but will never be able to truly say goodbye to my York. So this is for him.



Fading Memories

13 years ago, as I opened the door to the sun filled living room of our Moscow apartment, my stomach filled with butterflies. This was it. I was so excited. I was about to see what would become my very own first dog. I stepped into the living room with my small five-year-old feet and there he was; our five month old dog, York, the ugliest puppy out of the litter.

‘I wonder if they realize how ugly he is...’ I thought to myself about my parents.

Surely, I didn’t want to disappoint them, so I decided to just go along with it. I came up to pet him and as I put my small hand on his giant head I realized just how soft he was. Back then, I didn’t think anything of that moment. I mean, after all, he was only a dog. It’s ironic because now that moment is the most vivid memory in my mind. It’s the memory of how I met my best friend and as I sit here and I look deep into his eyes, I realize, I finally realize how much he means to me. Now the last thing I would ever want to do is let him go.

All these moments, they flash in my head. I remember how that summer 13 years ago, we took York to our summerhouse for the first time. I was absolutely ecstatic because I would get to teach him how to play fetch and tug-of-war and so many other cool tricks. So I brought sticks, treats, and a ball. As he jumped out of the trunk, I quickly stole him away from the rest of the family and lead him to the end of our yard. I threw that ball and he just sat there and stared at me without any confusion in his eyes, as if he was watching me practice throwing. I tried it again, and again, and again. I tossed treats and sticks and he simply sat there and looked at me throwing stuff. I was devastated. Not only did we get an ugly dog, he didn’t know how to do anything. I gave up, and sat down on the grass and looked at him. He had huge cow-like eyes and he looked right back into mine.

“Go away!” I said to him in a mad, childish voice.

He looked at me for a split second and then turned around and walked towards the pond in the back of our yard. Without any hesitation, he got in and put his head underwater.

I was confused ‘What the heck was he doing? What an odd dog.’ I thought to myself.

With his nose and eyes underwater and his ears just floating on top he walked around in weirdly shaped circles. It took a while but I later figured out that he was watching snails on the bottom of the pond and following them around everywhere they went. That summer I figured out that York wasn’t the type of dog to play fetch at all. He preferred rolling in mud, then running around, and shaking it onto everyone around him. He liked to chase rabbits and ducks, and he liked to “snail-watch”. I guess dog toys just weren’t his thing. These memories make me smile because I know deep inside he hasn’t changed much.

As I sit here now and I pet him, I realize how beautiful he is. I am reminded how 12 years ago, a year after we got him, my parents decided to take him to a dog show. When they brought him there the breeders didn’t believe that it was the same ugly duckling they had sold to them just a year earlier. They double checked all their paper work and York’s tattoo and he ended up winning the best of breed award in Russia that year. My ugly crocodile looking puppy became the most beautiful golden retriever in Russia. And here he is, lying in front of me on this soft pillow in this tiny room. I think to myself of all the people and their dogs that must’ve sat here before me, all the memories that must’ve flashed through their heads.

I wonder how lonely they felt leaving this room. I remember how lonely I was the four months I had to live without York, when my family and I first moved to Canada 10 years ago. I didn’t know a word of English so at school I was always really misunderstood and I never knew what people wanted from me. When York finally came from Russia he and I became inseparable. He kept me going at the end of every day; I always thought no matter what happened it would be okay because I would always have my dog, and he was all I ever needed.

As I grew up a lot of different things happened in my life and eventually I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I chose not to take medication. This was tough; I didn’t share this with anyone, anyone except York. Every time I was feeling down I would take him out and we would walk as far as we possibly could and somehow without even talking, he managed to keep my mind off things. He kept me sane, and believing that everything would be okay. He had severe ear infections multiple times in his life and I remember how he just sat there through his ears being cut open and drained. I was there petting his head and he simply sat and looked into my eyes. He was always calm, never angry and never violent. He loved kittens and he was amazing with kids. It really astounds me how great of a dog he has always been. I never looked back at it, until now.

Now that I sit here by his side, I realize that I remember every moment that I spent with him. Up until last night when I sat on the rug with him for hours because he could no longer walk. We sat there and for the first time in my entire life I saw him upset. He knew he could no longer walk, he was trying so hard to get up and he couldn’t do it. That’s when it struck me that we lived almost our entire lives together. When I finally got him to take a few steps, I went to bed. I never thought that would be the last steps he would ever take.

I woke up this morning and he couldn’t get up at all, so I took him to the vet, and as I carried him through that door and put him in the exam room the vet told me exactly what I should’ve been expecting. It was just his time. This was it, the moment I have been dreading the last few months. She told me that he had no muscle left in his legs and that his liver was failing. Then she brought us into this room and now I sit here, my face is swollen from all these tears and my whole family has already said their goodbyes. Now it’s just me and York waiting for the vet. This has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The veterinarian comes in and as she asks me if I’m ready, I don’t really know what to tell her because the truth is, I will never be ready. I will never be ready to let go of my best friend and to go home and open the door and not have him there looking up at me. I will never be ready to walk out of my room in the middle of the night in the dark and not have to trip over my beloved dog. I will never be ready to spend a sunny day without him by my side, and to wake up on Christmas morning and not wish him a happy birthday and give him a treat. Honestly, I do not know if I will even ever be ready to have another dog because I cannot imagine a dog better than York. As the vet takes out the medication, I hold York and he doesn’t even twitch, he looks at me and he puts his head down and closes his eyes. I guess this is my cue that he has finally let go and he is ready. I tell the vet that she can start and all of the sudden I realize that York is a lot stronger than I am because in my head I just wish he would get up and we would happily walk out of this room together. Unfortunately, now that it’s finally time to leave this room, all I have is his blue collar in my hand. Now it’s time for me to be strong and move on with my life because I don’t have a choice.

13 years ago, as I walked into a room my stomach was filled with butterflies. Now 13 years later, as I walk out of a room my stomach feels empty. All that’s left are the memories in my head. I feel like a huge part of me has faded away and I guess that is how it feels to say goodbye to your best friend, forever.
 

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Anastasia, I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to York. You grew up together and shared a special bond. Your tribute to York is beautiful -- the pictures, the song, just perfect.

I'm glad you are getting another puppy and will watch for future posts of new adventures.
 
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Thank you so much for the loving tribute to "York". We had to face the same ordeal 9 months ago. I can assure you "York" will be a part of you forever. Our home was so empty without our beloved golden "Jessie" we decided to get another golden. His name is "Pete". He has brought so much laughter and joy into our lives. The pain of your loss will lessen, the beautiful memories will remain and if you decide on another golden you won't replace "York" but you will fall in love again.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss of York.

Your tribute was beautiful, he was a beautiful and wonderful boy.

I hope your new pup will help heal your heart and bring you lots of love and joy into your life again.
 

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Hi Anastasia,

What a beautiful dog York was and what a wonderful tribute you put together. Today is 1 month since I lost my dog Simon and your video brought all the warm feelings and emotions that will never ever fade to the surface..*thank you*. I hope you find another wonderful dog like York. Thanks for sharing.
 

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Kaysea's Mom Forever
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Beautifully written tribute to York. So sorry you've lost your cat as well. A new puppy should bring extra joy to your life. Though you'll never replace the part of your heart reserved for York, you have the capacity to love a new little golden pup - congratulations!
 

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What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful best friend. What a treasure such a special friendship will always be to you -- your love for him will never die and he will always remain with you in your heart.
 

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You have written a beautiful tribute to York - I don't think we ever get over the pain at having to part with our much loved goldens (or others), but we do get a little bit better at coping. You have happy memories of your lives spent together and they will never leave you because they are in the safest place of all, deep in your heart.

You will make new memories with your new pup but they will never replace York's
 
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Anastasia

Please email me your screen name and York's name and the date and year he went to the Rainbow Bridge, and I will add him to the Rainbow Bridge list.
I know my Smooch and Snobear are playing with him!!
 
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Anastasia-
Your Youtube and story have me in tears this morning.
Such a beautiful tribute to a lovely and well loved dog.
I am sorry for your loss.
I too fell in love with my first Golden Buffy as a child.
I too lost the love of my life Homer last year.
Now I have Olliver. He is filling in those empty spaces.
You will never forget but you can find new love and joy with a new dog.
:) Robin
 

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Anastasia

not sure if this is the right place for this... im really new here :eek: I registered because I am planning to get another golden puppy this summer from Tashora :). My dog passed away a year ago and I did not think I would ever be able to move on, but now a year later it looks like I really want another golden. York came from Russia with my family when we all moved, his parents were from Belgium. He was truly the best dog, I am still heartbroken and the pain isn't any worse a year later when I really think about it.
I decided to get a puppy when my cat passed away during a really complex 7000$ surgery 3 weeks ago. That night, I truly felt empty. And now with only one kitty left at my parents house, I just feel lonely. I am so beyond excited for my new puppy, but will never be able to truly say goodbye to my York. So this is for him.

R.I.P York - YouTube


Fading Memories

13 years ago, as I opened the door to the sun filled living room of our Moscow apartment, my stomach filled with butterflies. This was it. I was so excited. I was about to see what would become my very own first dog. I stepped into the living room with my small five-year-old feet and there he was; our five month old dog, York, the ugliest puppy out of the litter.

‘I wonder if they realize how ugly he is...’ I thought to myself about my parents.

Surely, I didn’t want to disappoint them, so I decided to just go along with it. I came up to pet him and as I put my small hand on his giant head I realized just how soft he was. Back then, I didn’t think anything of that moment. I mean, after all, he was only a dog. It’s ironic because now that moment is the most vivid memory in my mind. It’s the memory of how I met my best friend and as I sit here and I look deep into his eyes, I realize, I finally realize how much he means to me. Now the last thing I would ever want to do is let him go.

All these moments, they flash in my head. I remember how that summer 13 years ago, we took York to our summerhouse for the first time. I was absolutely ecstatic because I would get to teach him how to play fetch and tug-of-war and so many other cool tricks. So I brought sticks, treats, and a ball. As he jumped out of the trunk, I quickly stole him away from the rest of the family and lead him to the end of our yard. I threw that ball and he just sat there and stared at me without any confusion in his eyes, as if he was watching me practice throwing. I tried it again, and again, and again. I tossed treats and sticks and he simply sat there and looked at me throwing stuff. I was devastated. Not only did we get an ugly dog, he didn’t know how to do anything. I gave up, and sat down on the grass and looked at him. He had huge cow-like eyes and he looked right back into mine.

“Go away!” I said to him in a mad, childish voice.

He looked at me for a split second and then turned around and walked towards the pond in the back of our yard. Without any hesitation, he got in and put his head underwater.

I was confused ‘What the heck was he doing? What an odd dog.’ I thought to myself.

With his nose and eyes underwater and his ears just floating on top he walked around in weirdly shaped circles. It took a while but I later figured out that he was watching snails on the bottom of the pond and following them around everywhere they went. That summer I figured out that York wasn’t the type of dog to play fetch at all. He preferred rolling in mud, then running around, and shaking it onto everyone around him. He liked to chase rabbits and ducks, and he liked to “snail-watch”. I guess dog toys just weren’t his thing. These memories make me smile because I know deep inside he hasn’t changed much.

As I sit here now and I pet him, I realize how beautiful he is. I am reminded how 12 years ago, a year after we got him, my parents decided to take him to a dog show. When they brought him there the breeders didn’t believe that it was the same ugly duckling they had sold to them just a year earlier. They double checked all their paper work and York’s tattoo and he ended up winning the best of breed award in Russia that year. My ugly crocodile looking puppy became the most beautiful golden retriever in Russia. And here he is, lying in front of me on this soft pillow in this tiny room. I think to myself of all the people and their dogs that must’ve sat here before me, all the memories that must’ve flashed through their heads.

I wonder how lonely they felt leaving this room. I remember how lonely I was the four months I had to live without York, when my family and I first moved to Canada 10 years ago. I didn’t know a word of English so at school I was always really misunderstood and I never knew what people wanted from me. When York finally came from Russia he and I became inseparable. He kept me going at the end of every day; I always thought no matter what happened it would be okay because I would always have my dog, and he was all I ever needed.

As I grew up a lot of different things happened in my life and eventually I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I chose not to take medication. This was tough; I didn’t share this with anyone, anyone except York. Every time I was feeling down I would take him out and we would walk as far as we possibly could and somehow without even talking, he managed to keep my mind off things. He kept me sane, and believing that everything would be okay. He had severe ear infections multiple times in his life and I remember how he just sat there through his ears being cut open and drained. I was there petting his head and he simply sat and looked into my eyes. He was always calm, never angry and never violent. He loved kittens and he was amazing with kids. It really astounds me how great of a dog he has always been. I never looked back at it, until now.

Now that I sit here by his side, I realize that I remember every moment that I spent with him. Up until last night when I sat on the rug with him for hours because he could no longer walk. We sat there and for the first time in my entire life I saw him upset. He knew he could no longer walk, he was trying so hard to get up and he couldn’t do it. That’s when it struck me that we lived almost our entire lives together. When I finally got him to take a few steps, I went to bed. I never thought that would be the last steps he would ever take.

I woke up this morning and he couldn’t get up at all, so I took him to the vet, and as I carried him through that door and put him in the exam room the vet told me exactly what I should’ve been expecting. It was just his time. This was it, the moment I have been dreading the last few months. She told me that he had no muscle left in his legs and that his liver was failing. Then she brought us into this room and now I sit here, my face is swollen from all these tears and my whole family has already said their goodbyes. Now it’s just me and York waiting for the vet. This has got to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. The veterinarian comes in and as she asks me if I’m ready, I don’t really know what to tell her because the truth is, I will never be ready. I will never be ready to let go of my best friend and to go home and open the door and not have him there looking up at me. I will never be ready to walk out of my room in the middle of the night in the dark and not have to trip over my beloved dog. I will never be ready to spend a sunny day without him by my side, and to wake up on Christmas morning and not wish him a happy birthday and give him a treat. Honestly, I do not know if I will even ever be ready to have another dog because I cannot imagine a dog better than York. As the vet takes out the medication, I hold York and he doesn’t even twitch, he looks at me and he puts his head down and closes his eyes. I guess this is my cue that he has finally let go and he is ready. I tell the vet that she can start and all of the sudden I realize that York is a lot stronger than I am because in my head I just wish he would get up and we would happily walk out of this room together. Unfortunately, now that it’s finally time to leave this room, all I have is his blue collar in my hand. Now it’s time for me to be strong and move on with my life because I don’t have a choice.

13 years ago, as I walked into a room my stomach was filled with butterflies. Now 13 years later, as I walk out of a room my stomach feels empty. All that’s left are the memories in my head. I feel like a huge part of me has faded away and I guess that is how it feels to say goodbye to your best friend, forever.
Yours is one of the most beautiful tributes I've ever read. I think you summed up how ALL of us feel saying goodbye, but having all of the beautiful times and memories with us forever. It is clear how special York was!!

I added York to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List:

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...-goldens-passed-2013-list-28.html#post4249457
 
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