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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It’s taken me lot of courage to write this down. I am still unable to accept the fact my best friend is gone.
Oscar was a heathy 8 and half year old Goldie, so full of life and child like enthusiasm. Lastmonth we took him for a haircut because it had not been properly done for almost 2 years due to covid. Everything was fine and we waited for him to come out. But when he came from the cut he didn’t look well, we gave him water before getting in the car and he collapsed. We immediately called th assistants to take him in. For context, his haircut was at his vets place who also provided grooming services. It turned out his temperature had shot upto 107 during the haircut, the doctors managed to bring it down in the next 30-45 minutes but he still couldn’t get up. We kept up there overnight with IV fluid but by morning he still couldn’t get up. He was responding to our touch but slowly he just went to sleep and never got up.
We are debated and feel so guilty. We don’t know if he had some issue or it was just stress. We keep thinking what if we had not gone for the cut, what if we had done it at home. It’s so painful and beyond heartbreaking. He was our whole world and we don’t know what to do now. We are barely hanging on and the guilt is killing us. I don’t know what to do, I just wish I could hug him one last time.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. Do not feel guilty, guilt is no good for you or your boy. Keep him tight in your heart and know he is with you every step of the way. Any new challenges you will face, he will be by your side.
 

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I am so so sorry. Such a shock. I can't believe there wasn't something wrong that just coincided with haircut.
I too would have a lot of questions - for the person/people doing the cut !
Did they not notice something was wrong while they were grooming him? You noticed he didn't look right when he came out.
Did they administer a sedative?
You did nothing wrong. I understand the guilt but you have to fight it. Goldens need to be groomed - so I really feel something else must have been going on for him to spike such a high fever.
I cannot imagine the shock and grief you are feeling but don't turn it against yourself. Having this beautiful soul in your life makes this part so much harder. It is the price we pay for loving a golden.
I hope that posting here with people who understand the grief you feel will help you get through this.
 

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I am so very sorry. We know sweet Oscar would not want you to be unhappy and guilt ridden so as you mourn his loss, try not to dwell on thoughts that you did something wrong. Sending a dog to grooming at a vet's office is not in any way irresponsible.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I am so so sorry. Such a shock. I can't believe there wasn't something wrong that just coincided with haircut.
I too would have a lot of questions - for the person/people doing the cut !
Did they not notice something was wrong while they were grooming him? You noticed he didn't look right when he came out.
Did they administer a sedative?
You did nothing wrong. I understand the guilt but you have to fight it. Goldens need to be groomed - so I really feel something else must have been going on for him to spike such a high fever.
I cannot imagine the shock and grief you are feeling but don't turn it against yourself. Having this beautiful soul in your life makes this part so much harder. It is the price we pay for loving a golden.
I hope that posting here with people who understand the grief you feel will help you get through this.
This is a thought I can not shake. How did they not notice something was wrong.
They didn’t give sedatives and supposedly paused for some time as well. We were and are so angry but even if they admit they did wrong it wont bring him back. I am just thankful we were with him for every second till the end.
Thank you for your kind words, it really helps to share the pain with people who understand the loss.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. Do not feel guilty, guilt is no good for you or your boy. Keep him tight in your heart and know he is with you every step of the way. Any new challenges you will face, he will be by your side.
I know I hope so! I keep looking for signs and after 2-3 weeks one day my mom and I smelled his scent radomly! It wasn’t even the same house! I am holding on to the belief he is with us:) thank you for your words, appreciate it
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I am so very sorry. We know sweet Oscar would not want you to be unhappy and guilt ridden so as you mourn his loss, try not to dwell on thoughts that you did something wrong. Sending a dog to grooming at a vet's office is not in any way irresponsible.
Thank you, I knowyou are right, I will consciously try to do that. But it is so difficult. He definitely would not want us to be unhappy and for him we will make that effort
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It’s been more than 2 months and it’s not getting any better. I suppose if he wasn’t well we could have tried to come to terms with it but not knowing what happened and if it could have been avoided is so painful. If we had not taken him for haircut that day he would still be here and that breaks my heart over and over again. I know it doesn’t change the past but I don’t know how to accept it. It’s so unfair and painful. The more I try to reflect on the good memories the more it feels like his life was taken from him. I don’t know how to deal with that pain anymore.
 

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No matter how we lose these beautiful souls, it's a terrible heartbreak. Your loss was hardest because of the shock. Please try to be kind to yourself and know that you didn't do anything wrong. Your sweet Oscar had those happy years with you because you chose him as the one and loved him every day. That's what you will need to remember in order to heal.
 

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I am so sorry that your grief has not lessened at all and you are coping with so much guilt. There is no timetable for grief. It takes as long as it takes. With that said, have you looked at any type of pet loss/grief support online or in your community? You might find some resources to help you cope with the loss. I think there is an understanding in the grief community that the loss of a pet is a very significant loss. I hope you can come to peace with all that happened.
 

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I totally get it. Your story hit me hard and cannot even imagine the grief after going through this.

But at 2 only months of time passing, the loss is still raw. My Chance was almost 14 with several complicated health problems his last 6 months and I STILL was not ready emotionally for how hard his death hit me. I was still grieving - missing him more than I could even describe - for a year at least.
I attended a Group Pet Loss Bereavement Group that was held locally once-a-month. The meetings were both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is the outpouring of understanding and help you get from the leader and the long-time members.
For me the curse was the sorrow I felt not only for my own loss, but now I was grieving for all these other grieving people. So my sadness was multiplied.
But the silver lining is that I was now connected with a community of like-minded people, some of whom have become real friends.
Since Covid, the bereavement group meets via Zoom. Some of us have gotten together, outside, at each others homes informally and less frequently but at least we can be with each other in person. All of us have a new normal but are free to talk about how it was before we lost our soul mates.
I think in your case, you need some closure because of the way you lost Oscar. Your mind is uneasy because none of it makes sense. It really doesn't. But the guilt is on the groomer if it should be on anyone. No one should have to worry about bringing their healthy dog for a haircut! I'm bringing both of mine to the groomer tomorrow and we should NEVER have to worry that we will not be bringing them home.
But I can understand your thoughts. I would have them too.
How do people move on? Therapy can sometimes help. Physical exercise. The passage of time too, Talking to understanding like-minded people can help too.
I wish you could get some answers because I think that would help to give you some closure.
Post here as often as you need to.

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thank you everyone. I am so grateful for this community and overwhelmed by the support and love from all of you. I can’t express how much it helps.
I do think I would need grief counselling. I have tried to find groups but due to covid none of them are very active right now. Thank you for giving me a place I can come to. Maybe some day I will share a my Oscar’s picture with you. He was such a happy and carefree soul. Right now it’s too painful to look at his picture and videos. It feels so unfair that his time with us was taken away because of someone’s carelessness. He was so happy and he deserved a longer life.
Thank you again, please take care everyone. Life is too short and unpredictable. Please hug your fur babies for me.
 

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With the right counselor, grief counseling can be very helpful.
I have 2 resources that I have personal experience with and I will PM you.
I agree, it is MUCH harder to find groups still meeting now since Covid. And the ones that meet, are meeting online mostly.
 

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...incredibly heartbreaking to experience. When the time is right, maybe you can find another someday to help ease your pain.

So sorry for your loss. Cherish those good memories.
 
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