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I light a candle for you every night, hoping to trace your soul back to mine.

They say time will heal, yet I can't seem to get past this moment.

The absence of you is everywhere...

Pervasive, unending.

You were my sun, moon, and stars. My forever Christmas morning, the brightest summer day, the warmest winter night.

Every minute of every day winds a clock that I can't turn back.

Each moment spent by your side through every joy and every struggle was my privilege. You were the most precious thing in my life and I was blessed beyond reason the moment you wandered into my life and fate decided to let you stay.

Your name is now tattooed on my inner wrist, just beneath my pulse and remembered and loved with every beat of my heart, scripted on the very place where I felt yours fade away as I held you in my arms for the last time.

I love you my sweet Teddy, and I miss you with every breath, with every thought... with every second moving time forward until I see you again.

Teddy, 10 years old, 11.23.11, Lymphoma


 

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Kye & Coops Mom
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4,466 Posts
Merry Christmas sweet Teddy, look down on your sweet family today and know they will be with you again someday.
 

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Muana's Forever Mom
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37 Posts
Kristin,

That was so beautifully written - as I type to you with tears in my eyes. Every word you wrote speaks to me, and I'm sure will speak to many other Golden owners that have lost their beloved dogs. The tears still flow from my eyes, day and night, since I lost my sweet girl on Nov 28th.

Rest in peace Teddy and Muana. I know you will both be healthy and strong and are already friends at the rainbow bridge. We love you and miss you...
 

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Kye & Coops Mom
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4,466 Posts
I keep reading this. Beautiful and so many have joined the ones who have lost a beloved dog this year. I pray that 2012 will be kinder to us all.

Merry Christmas to all our Rainbow Kids, we are all sending our love and miss you so very much.
 

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flykelley
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675 Posts
I light a candle for you every night, hoping to trace your soul back to mine.

They say time will heal, yet I can't seem to get past this moment.

The absence of you is everywhere...

Pervasive, unending.

You were my sun, moon, and stars. My forever Christmas morning, the brightest summer day, the warmest winter night.

Every minute of every day winds a clock that I can't turn back.

Each moment spent by your side through every joy and every struggle was my privilege. You were the most precious thing in my life and I was blessed beyond reason the moment you wandered into my life and fate decided to let you stay.

Your name is now tattooed on my inner wrist, just beneath my pulse and remembered and loved with every beat of my heart, scripted on the very place where I felt yours fade away as I held you in my arms for the last time.

I love you my sweet Teddy, and I miss you with every breath, with every thought... with every second moving time forward until I see you again.

Teddy, 10 years old, 11.23.11, Lymphoma


Sarah McLachlan "Wintersong" - YouTube
Hi Kristin
Know your Teddy is at the bridge and is pain free now. I know it doesn't ease the pain when we lose a special Golden. I lost Katie to cancer in Nov also so I know the pain you are feeling. I miss her every day but she brings me smiles everyday also. I call Lilly Katie sometimes by accident. I made the mistake of telling Lilly yesterday that sissy was home and go to the door. Lilly got all worked up then she figured out that I was talking about my daughter coming home. I had forgot I called Katie Sissy sometimes. Just try to hold special all of the time that we did have out Goldens with us. Merry Christmas to Teddy, Katie and all of our special Goldens that we have all lost this year. May you all be pain free and running with all of your new friends. I know Katie is in a lake somewhere at the bridge with a tennis ball in her mouth.

Mike
 

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Maggie Mae's Mom Too!
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597 Posts
In tears here too. I know your grief is very fresh and raw right now, I stood there just a year ago, pain so unrelenting that I thought I could not possilbly know happiness again. YOU WILL. Time will eventually take hold of your broken heart and mend it a bit so that you can find love for another. Your Teddy was so beautiful and you have such an amazing angel to keep you safe until you meet again. My heart is with you on this Holiday. I lost my Frazier January 23 of this year after a very tough emotional Christmas of saying goodbye. I have my baby boy Tucker now, and well..... Christmas is bringing me smiles this year, through the bitterwsweet thoughts of my not forgotten love of my life dog. My Soulmate, My Heart. (( Big Hugs )) to you, and please Try to find a quiet space and take a moment to find something to be grateful for. It helps. My Gratitude is that I had him for 13 years, and he taught me so much about love and forgiveness and how to live my life. xxxooo
 

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Your Teddy was beautiful! I'm so sorry, I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you. Your loss of Teddy is so recent and must be even worse to loose him so close to the holidays. Hugs to you at this difficult time.
 

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A beautiful tribute to your much loved boy. Needed some tissue for this one. Sending you strength.
 
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and Luvtazz too
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Thank you for the post...you are not alone. We all feel your pain. I miss my Tazz, 4 yrs ago to hemangiosarcoma. When I walk past his favorite clump of trees, I always say good evening to him. I am so sorry for your lose. Thank you for that beautiful tribute.
 

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now Mom to Kiwi
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Such beautiful words for your Teddy, brought tears to my eyes. Seven months have passed since we lost Maddie and I still miss her more than words can say. Sending hugs to you...
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Thank you to everyone. Your words do mean a lot. As Teddy started getting older I always questioned how I would be able to go on without him when that time finally came. He wasn't a dog to me, he was my forever 5 year old little boy with the big brown eyes and sweet smile and the kind of bond that was my oasis and saving grace during so many dark times in my life...

It's been almost five weeks since he's been gone and it's just impossible to imagine a place of calm and peace in my mind and heart. I know it's still fresh. I really want to keep faith that it gets better from here. I'm able to smile, look at photos, smell his toys, and remember everything I loved about him and everything I'm missing now. But the empty places in the house still bring me to my knees every single day.

I would happily give ten years of my own lifespan if I could just have him back for one more... :(

I know, crazy bargains and rationalizations and fantasies that can never be...

When he was diagnosed with late stage lymphoma in October, I was devastated. After many regular check ups with vets, no one ever felt any lumps on physical examination. No swollen nodes. No early warning signs. The tumour was growing inward deep inside his chest, behind his heart, and the vet suspected he might have leukemia in addition to it. I did five weeks of 24/7 hospice care, sleeping on the floor, trying to cook a wide array of foods to tempt his failing appetite, holding the water bowl for him the moment he lifted his head. It absolutely consumed me. The oncologist gave me hope... 80% chance he said... that he would go into remission and I would have him here for the holidays. Just one more Christmas, I had bargained myself into... it would be worth anything for just one more memory of playing in the snow, sitting under the Christmas lights, his head in my lap on just one more wintery night. Unfortunately he never got to complete his chemo protocol... and all my high hopes, all my fight, all my heart... it all just died the moment he took his last breath on that cold rainy November night.

I'm sure the holidays are making the grief more palpable right now for me. Strange thing, I actually thought I was getting just a little bit better the week before this one, but now I feel like I'm right back to square one. Ups and downs. I guess that's part of the process... and part of letting him go.

Thanks for listening.... and for the support. I just think it's hard for people to understand unless they've lost a Golden.

Merry Christmas to all the beautiful furbabies that lost their struggle this year, who are deeply loved and never ever forgotten...
 

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now Mom to Kiwi
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Your post sounds like I could have written it myself earlier this year when Maddie was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma. I know how you feel, you wished for just one more day, each and every day. Every night at bedtime I told her how much I loved her and I would whisper into her ear and ask her to give me just one more day...She made most of the milestones I was hoping for her...for the snow to melt so she could feel the grass on her back one more time as she rolled and rolled...and her 10th Birthday.

Honestly it took me months to feel somewhat normal again so know that what you are feeling is to be expected. I wish there was something to say to make it easier but it is a process that just takes time. Over time the good days will start to outnumber the bad ones.

Thinking of you and sending you strength over the holidays.

Christine
 

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Gracie's mom and dad
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301 Posts
My heart cries for you. There is a special star in the heavens for Teddy and all the other Goldens who have crossed the Bridge.

They are all at the feet of our Heavenly Father as He casts His light upon them as they cast light on our earthly lives.
 
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Missing Tasha, Sky, & Ral
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Such a beautiful tribute to your beautiful boy! He is watching over you. I hope the many happy memories you have can bring you some comfort. Hugs
 

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Maggie Mae's Mom Too!
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Kristen, You WILL come out of the darkness and find the sunshine again. BELIEVE ME. I cried two lifetime's worth of tears a year ago, I never ever thought I would be a able to love Tucker the way a Mom should love a dog. He sleeps on the other end of the sofa as I type this, I feel his heart on my leg, beating so strong for a new life of love that was sent to me to heal my grief. It's amazing the hearts ability to heal, to love and to bring peace. Teddy feels your pain, he knows you ache, he knows you miss him, and He will be the one that sends you the sign you need to move forward. You will move forward for HIM, and you must. I hung Frazier's stocking this year, and instead of filling it with toys and things, I filled it with pictures of us when he was young, happy, and thriving. His Urn will be under the tree with us tomorrow as we open gifts. He is still very much a part of our celebration, it's just now on a spiritual level. I will light a candle for you this evening, and again tomorrow, and I know that your Teddy will warmly hug you in his spirit. I can't wait till you tell us about your new baby. It will be such a happy day, and beleive me, you Teddy will have " hand selected" your baby for you. (( Hugs )) Merry Chistmas Dear. You are loved here.
 
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