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The sex isn't important. We went without having any idea of which gender we'd take, we had just one thing in mind - "The calmest pup is going home with us". We took a female! As far as getting a pup with a really young child at home I personally feel you should wait a year or two. My younger sister was 4 when we got Flare and when Flare was teething our household wasn't a pretty site! I think an older pup will do just fine with you! Hope this helps 