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So this post is going to be one that is hard to write but I think is necessary to hopefully help or connect with anyone else in a similar situation. Like the title of this thread suggests, I had to give up my spot for an 8 week old golden about two weeks ago. The puppy was intended to be brought home as a service dog prospect and was going to be trained to help mitigate symptoms of my disabilities. This is a puppy I have waited over a year for as I started my breeder search around November of 2019.

Over the past year, I have worked with two different breeders, waiting with them for the arrival of the puppies. The first breeder I worked with didn’t have enough puppies and wasn’t planning on breeding for another year or two. After not being able to get a puppy from the first breeder, I started my search again in the summer of 2020. After picking a breeder, we went through the same process of waiting for the pregnancy to take, and at 7 weeks, I went to the breeder’s house for the first time to meet and temperament test the puppies. I worked with two professional trainers to have the puppies evaluated so I recorded the temperament test on the 5 puppies and sent the trainers the videos.

After excitedly waiting for a day, the first trainer got back to me and told me that she did not think any of the puppies would be suitable for service work. After some talking, she was able to hesitantly tell me one puppy she thought could work out. I cried over the failed results of the test but was pretty set on picking up the puppy as I had placed a non-refundable deposit, paid the remaining for the puppy, and had all supplies ready at home. Then the second trainer contacted me and told me that it would be detrimental to the puppy’s health and happiness to train it as a service dog prospect because it would constantly be held to unrealistic expectations.

Once again, I cried for the puppy and after long discussions with my family and medical team, I made the final decision to give up my spot for the puppy. I contacted the breeder about my situation and she was super understanding and returned the remaining puppy price besides the non-refundable deposit. Writing and sending the email to the breeder was the hardest email that I have ever had to write. I wrote it in tears, looking at the drawers full of puppy supplies in front of me. I though about the wait for another puppy and how much of a delay this would play in having a fully trained service dog, something that I am in desperate need of as I write this. I canceled the vet appointment I made, and in the following week, had to answer questions from people who were excited to hear about the puppy I was bring home.

I know my experience may seem like a first world problem however having to give up the puppy who had the possibility of granting me more independence, losing this puppy I was so close to bringing home was like losing a part of me.

So to anyone frustrated in the puppy buying process, waiting for the perfect puppy, dealing with the loss of a puppy/dog, I’m sorry you are frustrated and full of emotion, it will pass, stay strong.

To the person with the puppy I was planning on bringing home, I hope you spoil him and love him with all your heart, he deserves only the best
 

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Ah, I'm so sorry. I'm sure your decision to give up this puppy was extremely difficult for you. I hope you find the puppy that will be a great service dog for you.
 

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I am SO sorry this was the result of your search. It sounds like you did everything right from start to finish, but I know it must be incredibly disappointing. I went through something similar with what was supposed to be my first puppy. She was bred by a friend, one of only two puppies in the litter and the only girl, I visited every week, named her, bought the supplies, was SO excited. Then, on the final vet exam, the vet heard a heart murmur. A second opinion from a cardiologist confirmed a serious heart issue. I knew that as a first time dog owner I was not prepared to take on a dog that would likely only live a few years, so I made the terribly hard decision to not take the puppy (the breeder kept her and she had a great life until she passed at the age of 2). I grieved for weeks over my decision, but a few months later another breeder I had contacted unexpectedly had a female puppy come available and I got my first dog, Molly. I still have a picture of that "lost" puppy on my wall and will always think of her as mine, but I know it was the right decision to not make her mine in reality.

I certainly hope all works out for you. Allow yourself to grieve this loss... Hopefully the dog you were meant to have will be in your arms soon... ((hugs))
 

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I am so sorry. You are absolutely right to feel this way. You made such a difficult decision, but it sounds like it was the right and unselfish thing to do. Trying to fit a round puppy into a square hole could have been disappointing and frustrating for you, and detrimental in many ways to the pup. It sounds like you were lucky to be dealing with an ethical and sympathetic breeder. I hope you find your right puppy soon. It will be well worth the wait.
 
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