Golden Retriever Dog Forums banner
1 - 20 of 24 Posts

·
Playful Pup
Joined
·
95 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
It's been a little over a week since my wonderful Jake has passed on. It's been difficult for me to adjust, but I think I'd been grieving even before he underwent the exploratory surgery that revealed his stomach cancer. He was such a beautiful dog; my other half, our love, our protector.

Sadly, I think I knew what was coming. As a writer, I'd helped give my Golden boy a voice and helped him express how (I thought) he felt as he was going through his sickness.

I'd written this the day I'd brought him to the vet's office; it's something we actually did a few days before (sitting on the porch together, that is). Thank you for reading.

* * *
The Courage of a Golden Heart
by Kimberly Grenfell​


Patience. Little by little, one step at a time, we'll get you through this.

That's what she says, my alpha female. And I want to believe her; I really do. But I can feel it creeping up on me, seeping into my bones, making me old. It has for a while.


We sit on the porch together, and I watch the woods surrounding the house, sense the darkness edging in. Our breath plumes, white and chilled. I feel the cold more, even through my double coat; it nips, stings, tightens my muscles.

It never used to. Snow was my heaven, my haven, my release. I could run, play, lie down in a drift, roll in its powder with the glee of a Golden puppy. Now, the sickness has worn me thin, taken my warmth from me, makes me want to shiver.

But I don't, because I don't want her to worry.


We sit on the porch together, and I listen to the woods surrounding the house, hear the night as it folds in. My stomach wrenches, hungry and pained. I'm starving, yet I'm unable to hold down food—well, not much, anyway.

When was the last time I enjoyed a decent meal? I can't remember. Food was my love, my longing, my fulfillment. The crunch of kibble; its taste, sharp and alive against my tongue. It filled my body, energized my soul. . . .

She tries. I know she tries, my alpha female. But rice sticks in my throat, and chicken—boiled, tasteless—leaves my breath smelling like a carcass. It makes me want to whine, complain.

But I don't, because I don't want her to worry.


We sit on the porch together, and I smell the woods surrounding the house, breathe in the crispness of late fall. She holds me, tight and desperate. Her familiar scent fills me with comfort, with memories of my youth.

Nine years I've been with her, my alpha female. Nine human years. Not long, even considering a dog's life. And I want nine more, I really do, only . . . I can feel it creeping up on me, seeping into my bones, making me old.

She holds me tighter, and I hear her breathing hitch, smell her salty tears, feel her face bury into my fur.

Patience. Little by little, one step at a time, I'll get you through this.

I want to say this to her, but I can't. Instead, I lean into her embrace and absorb her emotions with the patience of my breed.

And I wag my tail, slightly, because I don't want her to worry.
 

·
In the Moment
Joined
·
20,515 Posts
What a beautiful tribute to the golden soul. Your Jakey Boo is still watching over you, loving you every minute of every day.... just now on silent paws. Godspeed sweet boy..... you are SO loved.
 

·
love my goofy goldens
Joined
·
2,431 Posts
I am sitting here, crying. You got it exactly right. That golden spirit . . .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
43,252 Posts
That is so beautiful and sad. It is a very loving tribute to your sweet Jake. Know that he is still watching over you and loving you. One day you will get to see each other again and that tail will be wagging so fast and his smile so big.

Run Free Sweet Jake. When you see my Beau give him a big kiss from his Mom and Dad. We miss him so much.
 

·
Momma to angel Cody
Joined
·
5,044 Posts
Kimberly, you "got" him, your Jake. I'm sorry for your loss...it's simply one of the most sorrowful events, to lose a beautiful golden companion. He's snuggled forever in your heart, just where he's supposed to be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,667 Posts
That was beautiful, and so true. I am so sorry for your loss.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,284 Posts
Every morning, no matter the weather, Max and I sit on the porch together. I drink my coffee, he has his puppy water - we watch the birds and the leaves and the snow in winter. This touched me so deeply - I am so sorry for your loss and so deeply grateful for the angel who snuggles at my feet every morning, as your Jake did with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
691 Posts
That was beautiful, I am so sorry for your loss. It's been almost one year since we lost our Jake, it is so hard.
 

·
Registered
Brady Aedan Finch and Wren
Joined
·
13,683 Posts
What a beautiful tribute .. I am so very sorry for your loss
 

·
Playful Pup
Joined
·
95 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you, everyone. And I truly feel for those who've lost their Goldens. It hurts so much (I think because they're love is so deep and special), but they'll forever be in our hearts, won't they?

And . . . all of you just made me cry with your warm condolences!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,510 Posts
What a loving tribute to Jake , you knew him so well, sorry for your loss. R.I.P Dear Jake.
 

·
Dog Lover
Joined
·
42,038 Posts
Jake

What a loving tribute to Jake and yes, they are forever in our hearts!!


I am so sorry for your loss, but Jake will always be with you and you will see him at the Rainbow Bridge.

It gets a little easier with time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,278 Posts
Am so sorry for your loss , and a lovely tribute to him. Jakey will remain with you always, locked in the one place he has always been - in your heart.

Run free from pain and sleep softly Jakey
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,649 Posts
These are not my own words, but have given comfort in my life.
Your tribute to Jakey was far more eloquent...
I'm so very sorry for the pain you're feeling...

And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.

"Ascension"
Copyright ©1987, Colleen Corah Hitchcock
 

·
Playful Pup
Joined
·
95 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thank you very much to everyone who's added their condolences. And moverking . . . thank you for posting that. It's something I needed to read. I'm sure Jake's waiting (as are all of our companions whom we've lost) and we'll be together again to take a long and wonderful hike through the forest of eternity. :)
 

·
Misty & Holly's Mom :)
Joined
·
8,164 Posts
I am so very sorry for your loss of Jake..and what a loving tribute to him.
 
1 - 20 of 24 Posts
Top