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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My puppy Sam hates me!
he never wants to play with me,but as soon as my husband walks in the door he gets all happy, I give him treats and praise him when he does his business i even give him treats for no reason at all. I feel like i have made a mistake getting him, what should I do????
 

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Now Caue's Dad Too!
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Welcome to the forum. I can assure you that your puppy does not hate you. He may see you differently than he sees your husband. Perhaps you can watch how your husband interacts with the pup differently than you do and learn.
 

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Well, let me start by saying I really don't think Sam hates you. If he is a pup that you recently got, he probably just doesn't know how to relate to you yet. I had these same feelings about my Brady at first (and there was another thread I was reading yesterday on this same topic where others have had this issue too), so you are not alone. I was the primary trainer with Brady, and I spent the most time with him. He saw me all the time, so I was like "old hat" so to speak. Brady was always happy and thrilled to see anyone else, but seeing me was like, oh it's just you. I really thought he didn't like me. What I realized was that, because I spent most of my time potty training, obedience training, correcting things, walking, etc, that I wasn't spending much time playing with him and being his buddy as well as his disciplinarian (for lack of a better word). I really believe there has to be a balance here. When I started spending more "fun time" with him, he started to act differently towards me. And by the way, you can easily merge the training into playtimes too so you're actually doing both, and doing it in this way enhances the bonding of your relationship. But make sure to do play only sessions too. Soon after I started doing this he always seemed happier with me, bringing me his toys to play, wanting to be where ever I was, greeting me happily when I get home from somewhere, sitting/cuddling with me on the couch, etc. If your pup sees you all the time, he is going to greet others he does not see as much with more enthusiasm. I think that's just natural for them. But try spending more fun time with him. Get down on the floor and start playing with his toys and I'll bet he will come around.
 

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Hi and welcome to the board.
I am going to move your thread to another forum so more people may see it and be able to give you some more assistance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I have been doing what my husband has been doing,Playing with him. He still doesn't come to me I don't think he likes me. When my husband take him out,he lets him off his leash for only a little bit,and he told me to let him go for a little bit, and I felt stupid listening to him, I let him off his leash while we were going back in the house then he just ran!!! I ran right after him,calling him but he wouldn't listen! The only reason i got a hold of him was because he saw some people and got distracted,if no one was there he would of been gone. I don't know what to do! Its either he doesn't like me or he is scared of me or even both.
 

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JuJu

I am sure your puppy doesn't hate you at all. In my house, my two dogs seem to prefer my Hubby, probably because I am home more than Ken, but I know they love me too!

Contrary to what your Husband does or suggested you do, I would NEVER LET my dog off the leash, unless he/she was in a fenced yard with me watching them. I don't care how TRAINED a dog is, they still have an INSTINCT to run, play, chase, etc.

Try playing with him in or out of the house, brushing him, petting him-in otherwords, spend some quality time with him. Enrolling in an obedience class with you as the person training him would be a great bonding idea.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hi guys Thank You for the advice! Well I am still trying with Sam, and since we live in Germany,on an Army Base I really can't find an obedience class here for him in English unless it's far away,and we just moved here so we really don't know our way around that much. He probably is like this because I'm home with him all day so that's why he goes crazy for my husband, but Thank you all!
 

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I agree with all others, same thing happened to me...I was always home and my fiance not, so when he came home Zippy was very exited to see him. After a month that we got him I went to see my parents for 2 days and when I came back I almost cried how happy he was to see me !!! And now he goes after me everywhere in the apartment and whatever I am doing he lays down near me and waits until I finish, sometimes he even falls asleep waiting...so be patient, I don't think he hates you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Hi again everyone! I have another Problem with Sam, well my husband was getting ready to make breakfast and asked to to take Sam out, and since we crate train him he's in his crate,so i opened the little door and he would not come out I dont know why,but it felt like he was scared of me,because i was standing right in front of him, I told my husband to call him,of course he got excited,but still did not want to come out because i was there, then my husband made a little joke saying "what did you do? he's really scared of you" I dont know why!! My eyes filled with tears after he said that even though he was joking. I know most people say he is just a puppy,and of course he loves you,but not all dogs love every one. He even growls at me when i go next to his crate. I really feel like it was a mistake getting him,but I've been trying and trying because my husband really likes him. Please help!
 

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I ♥ Bailey and Annie!
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i opened the little door and he would not come out
Bailey does this all the time! I just close the door and go get her in a few minutes.

Everytime you go next to his crate, give him a treat. You shouldn't allow the growling. I'm sure others willl help you how to handle that. Keep on giving your puppy positive reinforcement and he will come around. Your puppy can pick up on the negative energy, try and keep it positive. Have a positive mind about it and enroll your pup in some kindergarten or obedience classes.

Bailey greets everyone but me the same way as your puppy. I'm home all day and I rarely leave the house. I play with Bailey several times a day and I do all of her obedience training. I do my best to make things fun for her.

I wish you luck.
 

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I originally had to laugh because my daughter has the same claim about her son. She is home all day with him and he could care less but when dad comes home he is soooooo excited. Then I read:
Hi again everyone! I have another Problem with Sam, well my husband was getting ready to make breakfast and asked to to take Sam out, and since we crate train him he's in his crate,so i opened the little door and he would not come out I dont know why,but it felt like he was scared of me,because i was standing right in front of him, I told my husband to call him,of course he got excited,but still did not want to come out because i was there, then my husband made a little joke saying "what did you do? he's really scared of you" I dont know why!! My eyes filled with tears after he said that even though he was joking. I know most people say he is just a puppy,and of course he loves you,but not all dogs love every one. He even growls at me when i go next to his crate. I really feel like it was a mistake getting him,but I've been trying and trying because my husband really likes him. Please help!
and that concerned me. At the risk of asking a stupid question: What form of discipline do you use on your pup? I had a client that asked me about his aggressive golden puppy. The pup jumped up and bit him in the face and was showing a lot of aggression. In questioning him further, his form of discipline was to hit her with a rolled up newspaper. I told him that if he wanted an aggressive or fearful dog that was the way to go but if he wanted the respect of his dog that he would have to change his way of thinking. Long story longer, he brought the dog here for the weekend and we worked with her. I found her to be a normal pup, full of energy and eager to learn although she was a little skittish at first. When he came to pick her up, he called her to him and she cowered and peed on the floor. She then started running around like crazy and I calmly blocked her from running and told her to settle. She immediately settled down. When he asked how I did that I repeated, "We never hit our dogs" I worked with him and her and everything ended up great. I can't blame him. I think a lack of knowledge is why there are so many "bad dogs". He was an older gentleman and that was the way things were done back then. To his credit, he sought out help and learned how to interact with his dog. I am not suggesting that you hit your dog. What I am suggesting is that whatever form of discipline you are using is not working for your dog. You can't train your dog if your dog is afraid of you. That is the great thing about this forum. You have access to all forms of training from the wonderful people here who contribute. If something isn't working, try something else. Patience is the key. Do a little research on the different training methods and pick one that you think will work for you. Ask as many questions as you need to on this forum. I am sure everyone here will be happy to help. Don't give up. It is definitely worth the effort.
 

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JuJu

JuJu

I don't think your pup dislikes you at all.
I agree, take a treat when you ask him to come out of crate and give it to him when he is out of crate.

Also, is he in the crate all the time? That is not good for a pup. He neeeds to be socialized with other dogs and with people.
Do you take him out on a leash for walks?
Can you leave him out of the crate and play with him in the house and brush him?

I am totally convinced that the dogs get more excited when my Hubby comes home, because I am home with them more and I'm the first one to let them out in the morning and I'm the first one home after work everyday.
They are just USED to me, so Ken is a novelty. Ken also is the one that walks them more than I do-I go along many times-and they adore walks!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hi guys thanks for all the replies, I have done what you guys have told me to do except the obedience classes. Sam has been coming to me more,but only when i have a treat if I don't have one he won't come to me at all! And I know he knows because he doesn't even look at me he looks at my hand to see if i have a treat. When i get him ready to take a walk,and put his leash on he pees in the house before we can even leave! this has happened for the past week and he's been peeing at least 4 times in the house. I am a clean freak and I get so aggravated,during the day I am exhausted because he keeps me up at night and having to clean pee up all the time isn't helping. I dont know if he is doing it out of spite or what. But i noticed he only pees in the house when my husband isnt home. I'm sorry if i sound like a horrible person but i dont know what to do. Thanks.
 

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Hi JuJu! What part of Germany are you in? I live in the Kaiserslautern area and am starting puppy classes next week with my "Karly". I could let you know what I think of the class if you are in this area. I am so sorry you are having a tough time with Sam. I hope things get easier for you soon! :)
 

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I really recomend some fun and gentle clicker training. teach him some fun attention games and let him feel successful at every turn. If you search the forum for attention games, you'll find some. Pups are really egocentric compared to the mature dogs they become- just like a human infant, puppies are all about themselves but then they blossom into best friends. Be patient!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Hey Karlys mom! We live in Heidelberg. I think that's probably about an hour and a half from where I am. I would love for you to let me know how those classes are,do you know where there are any closer by Heidelberg? Thanks!
 

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That is too bad you are that far away. I will ask around to see if anyone knows of any classes in English in your area.
 

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I think the most important thing you can do is to relax and take a few deep breaths. You're clearly very stressed over your relationship with the dog. Your dog may be responding to your anxiety and stress.

It takes time and effort to develop a strong bond with your dog. One of the best ways to work on that bond is through training. Training with your dog will build a stronger bond with him than playing will. If you don't have a training class near you, maybe you could find a clicker training course online? There are lots of training videos on YouTube.

A couple of other notes...

- As a puppy Rookie was not very affectionate. He didn't really like to cuddle. Now at 2 1/2 years old he LOVES to cuddle.
- Rookie greets every visitor that comes into my house as if they are his FAVORITE person in the whole world. He gets sooo excited. When *I* walk in the door, he calmly comes to me and sits by my side for a gentle ear rub. I don't get the crazy tail wagging, happy crying, etc. that visitors get. And I'm perfectly okay with that because while he enjoys the visitors, I know that I'm his person.
 

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Hi JuJu! What part of Germany are you in? I live in the Kaiserslautern area and am starting puppy classes next week with my "Karly". I could let you know what I think of the class if you are in this area. I am so sorry you are having a tough time with Sam. I hope things get easier for you soon! :)
so random, and off subject, I near in K-Town (Kaiserlautern) when i was younger...do you live on base? (I'm assuming, incorrectly maybe, your military?)
 

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My Scout can care less about me until dinner time during the week. He likes to hang with my husband. On the weekends it's reverse...he'd rather be with me.

If you have a treat he really likes, time to play games with him and the treat.

My Noah was a cuddle kissing freak, my Scout is not so much. He will "let" me hug and cuddle with him, but it seems like a chore to me when you look at his face. But I take what I get. He's a love, just not as free with it as Noah was/is. Noah loves everyone.
 
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