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I give up

3193 Views 43 Replies 25 Participants Last post by  Hildae
I lost out on the pup because I was honest.

My house and yard are too small for a golden. The breeders house was huge and her back yard, though not ranch like was huge too.

I told her I think my whole house fits in her yard. She agreed with me that my home is too small and I was let go off her list.

I don't think I'm destined for a golden.

The rescue I found wants to do a home visit but I'm sure they'll say the same thing. My yard isn't big but we have parks we can go to so that not an issue but the house? I can't do anything about that... I'm in California. I don't have millions for a shoebox let alone a real house. I'm lucky to be where I am because it was cheap when my husband's dad bought it.

How can a golden be a service dog then? Do disabled folks only have huge yards and homes? I'm so lost!! 馃挃馃挃馃挃馃挃馃挃
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No my house is 1221 sq ft and she said that was too small. I didn't have enough space for the pen she said the pup needed for potty training. She took a while to respond so I think she thought about it for a while and said no.

I'm a retired rvt and knows commands. I told her what I'd teach. She was excited about that. But the house size is what killed it. If I hadn't said the size, I'd have a pup.
I don't know what your house is set up like but my house is under 1,000 sq ft within city limits so it's a small yard.. I have 4 dogs, 2 are goldens. We also have a guinea pig, a cat, and a bird. I have enough space for an x-pen if I need to set it up. Don't give up!
 

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My house is about 1000 square feet, three bedrooms and no dining room but we set up the ex pen in the living room right in front of the sofa. Puppy only has access to the living room and sometimes kitchen if supervised as he gets still gets into things. We do have a decent sized backyard but no fence鈥攚e should be getting it installed in January. I don鈥檛 think the size of your house should matter snd 1200 square feet seems an average size home. Some people with a fence just leave their dogs outside, don鈥檛 play with them or interact with them, that鈥檚 not necessarily better than someone with a small house and backyard that will play, train and interact w the dog instead of just dumping them in the backyard!. Us no fence small house people have to get creative but there鈥檚 no doubt you could make it work. I used to live in an apartment building in jersey city and there were many goldens in my building who lived in apartments. During a snow storm my neighbor was playing fetch with her golden in the hallway. There鈥檚 ways to make it work! Good luck!
 

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There are a lot of single level ranch style homes out there that are 1200 Sq ft. I grew up in one. It had 3 bedrooms, living room, dining room and kitchen and 1.5 baths. There's plenty of room for a crate and expen in that size house......I agree with the others to not give up. Describe your house as a nice 3 bedroom house or something along those lines, not with Sq footage. Some people may not be able to relate those numbers with an actual amount of space.....I know my wife struggles with that.
 

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I wish I could put 10 likes on Arkansas Gold's post. I had to settle for one. ;)

My house is 1050 sq ft, and we live mainly on the upper floor, so maybe 800 sq ft? I had a 42-inch crate in my main space. (Which is huge, btw. I called it her house. It was the size of a small condo). Yes, I moved furniture around but it definitely fit. I also had a night crate in the bedroom.

Dogs do not run around indoors your house (except when they are baby puppies, if you are playing with them). They stay in the same room where you are, and they follow you to the bathroom. They like to sleep where you sleep. They don't need a ton of space. Outdoors, yes, they do. But it doesn't need to be YOUR YARD. I have no yard, never have. But we have three parks within walking distance, and I drive to big off-leash areas to walk, and to hunt train and track and swim. Exercising my dog is a priority every single day. If I had a yard it would change nothing (I'd probably still take her out on leash for bathroom breaks! lol)
 

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Rereading your posts it sounds like you鈥檙e pretty fearful about this. Lots of people have given you some really great advice/suggestions, but your responses seem to always go back to a place of fear. I would think breeders would want to send their precious babies home with a positive, confident PAWrent. So maybe it really has nothing to do with your home/yard size and more to do with a vibe that the breeder is getting. 馃し馃徏鈥嶁檧锔忦煠佛煆尖嶁檧锔忦煠佛煆尖嶁檧锔
 

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Aww don鈥檛 let this discourage you at all! Although I live in the west coast of Canada and most houses have decent sized yards, there鈥檚 a LOT of large breed dog owners in my area who live in condos and apartment with no problems.

I鈥檓 a first time owner and my golden is 7 months, and I don鈥檛 really see a huuuge advantage with a big yard, I only use mine with my pup mostly to do her business. Everyday I take her 2 or 3x for walks around the neighborhood or for a drive down to a park or by the water for a long walk, training and fetch. You don鈥檛 need a big yard/house! As long as you put in the effort to take the dog out it鈥檚 no problem. The weather in Cali is quite mild same as my area as well, don鈥檛 let any breeders discourage your search 鉂
 

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Aww don鈥檛 let this discourage you at all! Although I live in the west coast of Canada and most houses have decent sized yards, there鈥檚 a LOT of large breed dog owners in my area who live in condos and apartment with no problems.

I鈥檓 a first time owner and my golden is 7 months, and I don鈥檛 really see a huuuge advantage with a big yard, I only use mine with my pup mostly to do her business. Everyday I take her 2 or 3x for walks around the neighborhood or for a drive down to a park or by the water for a long walk, training and fetch. You don鈥檛 need a big yard/house! As long as you put in the effort to take the dog out it鈥檚 no problem. The weather in Cali is quite mild same as my area as well, don鈥檛 let any breeders discourage your search 鉂
Also, I want to add that it鈥檚 important to note leaving your dog outside in a big yard does NOT equal exercise. Idk about other dogs but if my golden is in the yard by herself she won鈥檛 run around in circles and know she needs to 鈥渆xercise鈥. She will bark and rip up the grass 馃ぃ You have to put in the effort to exercise a dog, not the other way around.
 

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I encourage you to keep looking. Maybe expand your search perimeters?

I have a home that is under 1,000 sq feet in SoCal with approx. a 1/4 acre back yard (maybe closer to 1/5). The dogs (3 of them!) stay with us in whatever half of the house we're in, so they usually only have access to about 400-500 sq ft at a time. They don't care. We have put crates in strategic places (in the living room, we're building a frame for it so it can double as an end table; and in the bedroom, we took the trifold doors off the closet and put the crate in the bottom of it since it's only for sleeping our youngest). Dogs don't care about space. I've watched all three of them plus our cat squeeze into my TINY 2x6ft bathroom just because I had the AUDACITY to try to pee alone. Every night when I curl up on the couch with my beloved, the dogs are cuddle puddled at our feet (or trying to climb into our laps or kicking at me because the 1 sq ft of couch space they squeezed into wasn't big enough to their liking and I just need to move).

There is a huge show in Indio the first week of January which would be a great time to see dogs and maybe get new names of breeders to look at?

Golden Retriever Club of LA County has a specialty on 1/5/23
Kennel Club of Palm Springs has a show 1/6/23 -1/8/23
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
I got freaked out because I saw her house and her yard. You're right, I need to keep my mouth shut unless I'm asked specifics about size. I'm going to try that with the rescues too. I don't NEED a puppy. I just figured that would be easier to train and it would grow up with cats so it wouldn't be like what's this?? haha
 

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Discussion Starter · #30 ·
Rereading your posts it sounds like you鈥檙e pretty fearful about this. Lots of people have given you some really great advice/suggestions, but your responses seem to always go back to a place of fear. I would think breeders would want to send their precious babies home with a positive, confident PAWrent. So maybe it really has nothing to do with your home/yard size and more to do with a vibe that the breeder is getting. 馃し馃徏鈥嶁檧锔忦煠佛煆尖嶁檧锔忦煠佛煆尖嶁檧锔
You might be right. I am one of those worrier types. I want to do what's best for the pup or dog. I do have a pen just not as tall, but that's an easy fix. I do feel better about it though. Especially from those who have smaller houses. Now I just need a breeder to believe in me. I know I can train and I know she will be loved. She will have a job and mental exercises. I just have to let go of the fear about the size of this place.
 

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You might be right. I am one of those worrier types. I want to do what's best for the pup or dog. I do have a pen just not as tall, but that's an easy fix. I do feel better about it though. Especially from those who have smaller houses. Now I just need a breeder to believe in me. I know I can train and I know she will be loved. She will have a job and mental exercises. I just have to let go of the fear about the size of this place.
I鈥檒l be moving into a 650 sqft condo once it鈥檚 built and I have no worries about the size of my living area with my golden. Even in my parents house my dog does not have access to the whole house. Just make sure you can take the pup for walks and since you live in Cali I鈥檓 sure there鈥檚 tons of parks/trails nearby. Instead of fretting on what you don鈥檛 have think about all that you can provide for your future dog 馃檪
 

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I live in SoCal in a 1,000 sq ft bungalow. I do have a yard (actually two) but I wouldn't call either of them huge. I had no problem getting my first puppy based on my house/yard size and she passed 7 weeks ago at almost 12 (devastated), but I'm already on a few approved wait lists (NOT in California). I didn't get my first puppy in California, either. I'm wiling to travel to wherever so it's made my search somewhat easier.

Don't give up. I do think it's all about how you present yourself and your attitude and your plans for your pup. I approached breeders by sending a really personal email after Bronte passed. I shared who my previous breeder was (who sadly no longer breeds) and all the other breeders I knew and had met when I was looking for Bronte, and why the breeder I was writing to was on my list. I also probably went overboard about Bronte (and sent way too many pics of her), and how utterly heartbroken I was at her loss but that I knew it would take time to find the right breeder and I wanted to reach out now. Those emails turned to either emails back from those breeders or phone calls from them. Only after chatting did I then fill in an application - so they already knew a lot about me when my application came in. I was also patient in waiting to hear back (I think the longest I waited was two weeks).

Also some of them said while they didn't have any upcoming litters (and one had one that were due to come home next month - which is too soon for me as i'm still grieving), they gave me contact information for other breeders, which is always great because then you send an email and in the subject line I wrote "referred by..."

Please don't give up! Maybe it's just rethinking how you approach it. Breeders can get a sense of who you are and whether you'll make a great pawrent by how you approach them and your demeanour. Some of the applications I filled in didn't even ask the size of a yard and one even said if you don't have one what are your plans for the pup? It's really NOT about the yard.

Stay positive! Your puppy is out there.
 

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No my house is 1221 sq ft and she said that was too small. I didn't have enough space for the pen she said the pup needed for potty training. She took a while to respond so I think she thought about it for a while and said no.

I'm a retired rvt and knows commands. I told her what I'd teach. She was excited about that. But the house size is what killed it. If I hadn't said the size, I'd have a pup.
My house is about 1300 sf, like many homes in my area. The breeder did come to check out my yard because it鈥檚 not fenced. She decided that our fairly large yard and location was fine.

I鈥檓 thinking the breeder you spoke to was just using a poor excuse for declining to sell you a puppy.
 

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You might be right. I am one of those worrier types. I want to do what's best for the pup or dog. I do have a pen just not as tall, but that's an easy fix. I do feel better about it though. Especially from those who have smaller houses. Now I just need a breeder to believe in me. I know I can train and I know she will be loved. She will have a job and mental exercises. I just have to let go of the fear about the size of this place.
You can do it and believe me, a golden is so worth it!! Go get yours!!!!
 

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I think you should expand your reach. If I remember correctly, the golden you were on a list for was $4000. You can certainly find a well-bred golden for less outside of Cali. And if you are willing to spend that much, then you can use it to travel to pick up your pup from elsewhere. You might even save money still! But, I wouldn't settle for anything less than what you want. A good golden is worth waiting for!
 

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Don't get discouraged and don't give up! You just haven't found the right breeder yet!

After we lost our boy to Cancer in May of this year, I contacted a couple breeders that are considered "reputable" breeders because they have been doing it so long. Lets just say it wasn't a good fit! I understand the need for applications, interviews, etc... but there comes a point when I have to say enough is enough. Im not going to jump thru hoops, roll over and play dead or do whatever else it takes to get into the good graces of any breeder! We have owned 2 goldens over the past 25 years. I would say they were both KING OF THE CASTLE except for the fact that we don't have a "castle". They both lived their lives in our 1500 sq. ft. house with a medium sized (city lot) backyard and had great lives! Our next Golden will also live his life here since we don't plan on moving anytime soon!

I found a great breeder but unfortunately she lives two states and a 2 day drive from me. I did seriously consider making the trip for one of her pups. But fortunately I was introduced to a Breeder that is great and she is only a 30 minute drive from me! She is down to earth, no ego's to dance around AND her dogs are very healthy (OFA and Genetic tested) and she breeds to GRCA standards 1000%. I say all of that to encourage you to keep on looking because eventually you will find the breeder that's a good fit for you.
 

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Sorry for the troubles you have been going through. I live in an apartment (800 square feet) and when I was looking for a puppy, I emphasized a few things on my own initiative and on the application/paperwork: (1) My active lifestyle. I have always taken my dogs out for exercise and activity every day. Rain or shine. My puppy would be no exception. (2) My dogs are pretty much always with me (e.g. they are home alone for no more than 1-2 hours a week, if that). My work is dog friendly. (3) I also told the breeder that I would live with family who have a single family home with a yard for about a month to get the 8 week old puppy trained as much as possible. If that is something you can and would do, you should tell the rescues or breeders. I think it helps.

I went through a similar challenge with some breeders and rescues. There are breeders who do not have blanket prohibitions against small house or apartment dwellers. But it takes a lot more effort, unfortunately, as others have said.

Good luck
 

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Big houses and yards don鈥檛 guarantee a dog a good life.
I wish breeders and rescues took this to heart. It has been infuriating when they equate single family home or yards with good dog rearing as if it's automatic or magic. They'll sell/home a dog to someone who lives in large homes but who are also rather lazy. Sigh.
 

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I wish breeders and rescues took this to heart. It has been infuriating when they equate single family home or yards with good dog rearing as if it's automatic or magic. They'll sell/home a dog to someone who lives in large homes but who are also rather lazy. Sigh.
It's true in some cases. I have a friend who lives in a condo/apartment thing and his dog gets more exercise than many I know.
 

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I wish breeders and rescues took this to heart. It has been infuriating when they equate single family home or yards with good dog rearing as if it's automatic or magic. They'll sell/home a dog to someone who lives in large homes but who are also rather lazy. Sigh.
I think part of the thing is that the individual thinks they are a fantastic home and have the bases covered.... but the breeder may have met many like that individual who said all the right things but messed up.

Have sat down and had candid chats with many breeders and many will not sell to college age kids who rent and are 2-3 years away from getting real serious jobs. There's too many variables that are short term and might change.

My vet - as example - has many young people who work behind the desk throughout the year. This is typically a short term job because the people they hire are going to college and just want a 6-12 month job. These are people who will say they have a very dog friendly job, but not a permanent job. Even if they wanted to work at that job forever, it's not intended to be a forever job for somebody with big bills etc.
 
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