Golden Retriever Dog Forums banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
30 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
**I'm new to this forum. If this thread is in the wrong spot, can a moderator please move it?

I figured that sharing my dog's story might add some closure to what feels like a devastating, sudden loss.

I'm a college freshman, living on campus about 3 1/2 hours away from home. Went back home on Feb. 21st so that I could squeeze in a visit before my school's spring break. My dog, Madison, seemed just as normal as ever. A bit more lethargic in recent years, but still very normal. She waited for me at the front door as I pulled in the driveway, ears perked and eyes wide. My mom and I had to attend an all-day event on Saturday, so I didn't get to see Madison as much as I wanted to that weekend, but it was still a good visit.

Mom calls Feb. 29th. Madison's stools have suddenly turned black and bloody. She is rushed to the 24-hour vet clinic. The doctors keep her Saturday night and perform some tests - the results are due to come back on Friday, Mar. 6th. The doctors at the clinic tell my mom that the problem could be one of two things: a bleeding ulcer (which would be curable) or cancer. Madison does so well at the clinic that the doctors send her home Sunday night, which is earlier than they had originally expected.

The next week was a roller coaster, from what my mom told me. Some days are worse than others. On Tuesday, she was severely dehydrated, so my mom took her to our vet, where they gave her some fluids. She perked up right away. As much as I was worried about her (I seriously thought she might not make it through the night of the 29th), my mom kept reassuring me that she was "sick, not dying." I try and keep my hopes up. Even if it was cancer, maybe she'd at least make it to the summer so I could spend some more time with her. Cancer surely couldn't take a dog so quickly...could it?

Mom calls again the night of Mar. 6th. It's cancer. Everywhere. On the liver, stomach, even the lungs. Just tiny little tumors that were difficult to pick up. The vet said she could have just days to live. I sob like a baby that night in my dorm (I'm kind of grateful that my roommate wasn't there to witness). I rush home last minute Saturday morning to say goodbye, having to cancel several important plans I had made prior.

When I got to the house, I couldn't believe how horrible she looked. She was so skinny and seemed completely "out of it." She somehow mustered up enough strength to stand up on the couch and greet me, tail wagging and all. From how icky she must have been feeling, I was honored that she cared I had even came home.

We rushed her to our vet the moment I got back. She could have been put down right then and there, but my mom wanted to wait a little longer since Madison still had some strength (i.e. getting up to greet me, jumping into the car, etc.). The vet said that waiting was fine, but she probably wouldn't last much longer.

Madison's last day was awful. Despite retaining a few of her "quirks," like bringing us her stuffed animals, she was so tired and seemed uncomfortable, sad even. She could barely pick up her head. I didn't want to look at her any longer knowing how miserable she was. She had black diarrhea all day and couldn't hold it in. It makes me feel so disgusted knowing all that was inside of her body. I cried again that night as she slept on the floor beside me, knowing it would be her last night.

On Sunday morning, it was time. Our vet was closed so we went back to the clinic to have it done. Madison made her final "piggy noises" (excited grunts) and gave the vet a kiss when she walked in. It killed me to see her acting somewhat "normal." It almost felt like it wasn't time, even though I knew in my gut that it was.

She passed so quickly. That's how weak she must have been. How quiet the room got was what scared me the most. When she was gone, my mom wanted to continue petting her for one last time, but the idea discomforted me. I was terrified out of my mind, knowing that my dog was dead on the floor in front of me. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

Madison died at 9 years, 7 months. To me, that seems extremely young, although I have heard of goldens dying younger. I knew it was unlikely that she'd make it to my college graduation, but I was hoping she'd live until at least the summer after my sophomore year.

I've known Madison since fourth grade when she was just a puppy. She's been like a sister throughout the years, so losing her is excruciatingly painful. It doesn't feel real at times. I've been trying to move on but it's hard to just forget she ever existed. I can't deny the facts; she's gone forever.

I feel especially bad for my mom since I'm an only child and Madison was her "buddy" when I was out of the house at college. She was there to comfort my mom when I couldn't be there in person for her. Now it feels like she's lost both of us. I've been calling my mom everyday to check in on her. She's doing okay, but the pain is still raw.

I leave for spring break tomorrow and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like to walk in the door and not see her for the first time. I don't want to go home at all; home will just remind me too much of her. Plus, with the coronavirus going around, it's looking like I'll be stuck at home for three weeks or more, which I think will just make the pain worse.

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to get that off my chest. I'll post some pictures of Madison before she fell ill down below. She really was a special, sweet dog and I will never forget her.

R.I.P. Madison. You will always be in my heart.
07/09/2010 - 03/08/2020
870864
870865
870866
870867
870868



870869
870870
870871
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
938 Posts
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Madison, she was a beautiful dog and it sounds like the absolute best companion anyone could ask for. The loss of a beloved pet is so painful, and as they say, time will "heal" wounds, but just try to take care of yourself and remember her for the amazing dog she was and the amazing life you and your family gave her ?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,238 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Madison. It is very normal to mourn and grieve the loss of your doggy sister. Most all of us have felt your pain and you will always miss her but it will not always be this painful. Also please try not to think too much about her final moments. It was so good of you and your mom to stay with her but I know first hand that those images stick in your mind and are very hard to bear. I try to deliberately redirect my thoughts to happier memories. My sad thoughts and prayers for you and your mom.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeaGlass925

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,231 Posts
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. As you stated in your comment to my post, what happened to us and our Goldens is chillingly similar. Our Max was born on July 7, 2010 and passed on Tuesday, February 25, 2020. Like Madison, it all happened very quickly. The prior Wednesday evening, Max would not eat or get up. By Friday and Saturday he seemed much better, but took a turn for the worse Sunday night, and after a vet visit on Monday, he passed Tuesday. Like you, my wife and I are having trouble getting passed the pain. Hopefully, in time, it will get easier. Please take care.
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
5,154 Posts
I. so sorry for your loss, Madison was a beautiful girl. Keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
2,993 Posts
What an adorable face. Thank you for memorializing Madison here. It connects us to how important our dogs are in our lives. You never took her for granted, even when far away and you deeply loved and have honored her.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SeaGlass925

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
97 Posts
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Madison. She was too young to be taken away. In time, you will be able to remember the wonderful life you had with her. You are in my thoughts.?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,625 Posts
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your lovely Madison. Would you like me to add her name to The Rainbow Bridge List?.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,625 Posts
Yes, please. That would be wonderful.
I'm having trouble with the edit facility on here at the moment, as soon as it's been rectified I will add Madison to the list.
 

·
Rehoming breeder girls.
Joined
·
49 Posts
Sorry for you pain. I too know of your pain. My Eden passed from Hemangiosarcoma too. My Eden had the skin version, instead of the internal as was your Madison. Unfortunately Goldens are susceptible to cancer. There are many people on this forum who have had their Goldens pass too soon from this dreaded disease.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
**I'm new to this forum. If this thread is in the wrong spot, can a moderator please move it?

I figured that sharing my dog's story might add some closure to what feels like a devastating, sudden loss.

I'm a college freshman, living on campus about 3 1/2 hours away from home. Went back home on Feb. 21st so that I could squeeze in a visit before my school's spring break. My dog, Madison, seemed just as normal as ever. A bit more lethargic in recent years, but still very normal. She waited for me at the front door as I pulled in the driveway, ears perked and eyes wide. My mom and I had to attend an all-day event on Saturday, so I didn't get to see Madison as much as I wanted to that weekend, but it was still a good visit.

Mom calls Feb. 29th. Madison's stools have suddenly turned black and bloody. She is rushed to the 24-hour vet clinic. The doctors keep her Saturday night and perform some tests - the results are due to come back on Friday, Mar. 6th. The doctors at the clinic tell my mom that the problem could be one of two things: a bleeding ulcer (which would be curable) or cancer. Madison does so well at the clinic that the doctors send her home Sunday night, which is earlier than they had originally expected.

The next week was a roller coaster, from what my mom told me. Some days are worse than others. On Tuesday, she was severely dehydrated, so my mom took her to our vet, where they gave her some fluids. She perked up right away. As much as I was worried about her (I seriously thought she might not make it through the night of the 29th), my mom kept reassuring me that she was "sick, not dying." I try and keep my hopes up. Even if it was cancer, maybe she'd at least make it to the summer so I could spend some more time with her. Cancer surely couldn't take a dog so quickly...could it?

Mom calls again the night of Mar. 6th. It's cancer. Everywhere. On the liver, stomach, even the lungs. Just tiny little tumors that were difficult to pick up. The vet said she could have just days to live. I sob like a baby that night in my dorm (I'm kind of grateful that my roommate wasn't there to witness). I rush home last minute Saturday morning to say goodbye, having to cancel several important plans I had made prior.

When I got to the house, I couldn't believe how horrible she looked. She was so skinny and seemed completely "out of it." She somehow mustered up enough strength to stand up on the couch and greet me, tail wagging and all. From how icky she must have been feeling, I was honored that she cared I had even came home.

We rushed her to our vet the moment I got back. She could have been put down right then and there, but my mom wanted to wait a little longer since Madison still had some strength (i.e. getting up to greet me, jumping into the car, etc.). The vet said that waiting was fine, but she probably wouldn't last much longer.

Madison's last day was awful. Despite retaining a few of her "quirks," like bringing us her stuffed animals, she was so tired and seemed uncomfortable, sad even. She could barely pick up her head. I didn't want to look at her any longer knowing how miserable she was. She had black diarrhea all day and couldn't hold it in. It makes me feel so disgusted knowing all that was inside of her body. I cried again that night as she slept on the floor beside me, knowing it would be her last night.

On Sunday morning, it was time. Our vet was closed so we went back to the clinic to have it done. Madison made her final "piggy noises" (excited grunts) and gave the vet a kiss when she walked in. It killed me to see her acting somewhat "normal." It almost felt like it wasn't time, even though I knew in my gut that it was.

She passed so quickly. That's how weak she must have been. How quiet the room got was what scared me the most. When she was gone, my mom wanted to continue petting her for one last time, but the idea discomforted me. I was terrified out of my mind, knowing that my dog was dead on the floor in front of me. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

Madison died at 9 years, 7 months. To me, that seems extremely young, although I have heard of goldens dying younger. I knew it was unlikely that she'd make it to my college graduation, but I was hoping she'd live until at least the summer after my sophomore year.

I've known Madison since fourth grade when she was just a puppy. She's been like a sister throughout the years, so losing her is excruciatingly painful. It doesn't feel real at times. I've been trying to move on but it's hard to just forget she ever existed. I can't deny the facts; she's gone forever.

I feel especially bad for my mom since I'm an only child and Madison was her "buddy" when I was out of the house at college. She was there to comfort my mom when I couldn't be there in person for her. Now it feels like she's lost both of us. I've been calling my mom everyday to check in on her. She's doing okay, but the pain is still raw.

I leave for spring break tomorrow and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like to walk in the door and not see her for the first time. I don't want to go home at all; home will just remind me too much of her. Plus, with the coronavirus going around, it's looking like I'll be stuck at home for three weeks or more, which I think will just make the pain worse.

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to get that off my chest. I'll post some pictures of Madison before she fell ill down below. She really was a special, sweet dog and I will never forget her.

R.I.P. Madison. You will always be in my heart.
07/09/2010 - 03/08/2020 View attachment 870864 View attachment 870865 View attachment 870866 View attachment 870867 View attachment 870868


View attachment 870869 View attachment 870870 View attachment 870871
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Sweet sweet Madison. I am sorry for your loss. Yes sometimes goldens do pass away young. Our sweet golden passed away when she was just 7 and half years old. I now rejoice in the lovely times we shared with her, knowing very very well that she is somewhere good - just like your Madison.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can tell how much she meant to you in your beautiful words. I hope I can bring you some perspective, and this is just how I came to terms with my first loss. I too was devastated and I couldn’t even look at pictures for months, probably close to a year. I even sat his ashes next to my bed with his collar around the little urn and said good night to them each evening. Then when I bonded with my next dog, that I thought could never be as strong as the bond I had with my first dog, I came to the realization that I was willing to go through the pain of loss because I was not willing to give up all of the days of joy that a pup can bring. It’s so hard losing them, but the joy of experiencing their love is worth the pain of losing them. And ever since I changed my perspective, death has been easier, not easy, but easier for me to accept and handle. I hope I made sense. ❤
 

·
Goldens Rule
Joined
·
202 Posts
I’m so very sorry.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top