[MauiMaui]

We are looking at adopting a puppy. We have 3 kids one of which has adhd and hyperactivity. Our son has a lot of energy, is easily overwhelmed and sensitive. We are looking for a dog that is confident, affectionate, energetic but able to calm down easily. Do you think a male or a female would be better?
Thanks for your input!

 

[gdgli]

I think that you need to be careful. How old is your son?

 

[MauiMaui]

He is 6 yo

 

[Prism Goldens]

I don't think gender is applicable, it is a breeder who temperament tests that you should look for rather than a boy or girl or coat color or anything cosmetic. But aren't you the person whose puppy has giardia and is only 8 weeks old?

 

[OscarsDad]

It would also depend on whether your son's ADD is an inattentive type rather than constantly being in motion, and/or problems with impulse control and aggression. I am wondering whether you might consider an older dog, that has gotten through puppyhood. Goldens are patient but they are also very active as puppies. Might also want to consider a therapy dog. If you search for "Assistance Dog International" you will find a good access portal to information.

 

[cwag]

A child who is easily overwhelmed and sensitive may not enjoy a Golden Retriever puppy at all. I have a fairly calm, couch potato type Golden and he was still a painful biter and a slightly scary wild guy at least part of the time when he was a puppy. I agree with OscarsDad, you may want an older dog.

 

[puddles everywhere]

I have 2 autistic / adhd grand sons (now i their 20's) and it's really hard to have a puppy around them, especially a landshark puppy. While goldens are wonderful dogs I've had far easier puppies. Their energy and the puppies just sort of fed off each other and not in a good way.
We did however visit the pound and humane society often and found an older dog (age 2ish) that had a bomb proof personality that liked to remain close, interact but did not violate their personal space or feed off the excessive energy. This actually helped with their focus, when the dog calmed down so did they. I think he was bernese mountain mix and still going strong... just sort of lumbers along.
Just a thought... sometimes getting a dog that is past the puppy phase so you can see how they are with the kids makes life much easier. With 3 kids you are already out numbered

 

[Megora]

You posted less than a week ago about another puppy.... did that puppy go back to the breeder?

Based on your post here, you are not looking for a puppy and golden retrievers may not be the breed for you.

 

[Prism Goldens]

OP posted today about that pup having giardia.

 

[DevWind]

My daughter has ADHD. When she was younger, we had a miniature poodle. He was a very laid back, friendly dog. Except for when my daughter got close to him. He would growl at her. He had good reason.....she accidentally hurt him some times. Hyperactive children and puppies just aren’t a great combination.

 

[Jenny235]

I have a 14-month-old dog and a 9yo with anxiety, self-regulation concerns, and mild inattentiveness. I researched the heck out of breeders and really focused on temperament in the line (among other things, but this was #1 for me). I also have 2 teens. While I think we were naive in what having a puppy is like (oh my, lol!), I feel like our experience would have been very different if my 9yo didn't have anxiety/impulsivity/inattentiveness (it's ADHD w/o hyperactivity).

It's been a constant challenge in training. Hard enough with 5 people in the house/being consistent, but the 9yo has made it beyond challenging. The two can barely co-exist because it always seems one of them is in a heightened state & gets the other one riled up. My child is kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful. Our dog is a normal, happy, social adolescent, who is probably better trained than many 14-month-old dogs (because we have used a private trainer for about 20 sessions over the last year plus puppy school). And yet this last year has been a hardship beyond what, I believe, other "puppy families" experience. We're starting to come out of it--may be because my child is older and is responding better to what to do/not do around the dog and/or because the dog is responding better (consistent training, recently neutered, generally more chill). But my husband and I have quietly said to ourselves over the year that we wish we had gotten an older dog.

 

[schroyeh]

Hello. This forum has been so helpful to me in our first year with our Gigi. I have been a bit of a 'lurker' but feel I need to comment on this thread as it is quite specific.We have a 15 yr old ASD son with ADD/ADHD issues. He is Gen Ed student but is control goes out the window when he gets home from school. We thought long and hard about getting a dog as the only thing he wanted was a GR puppy (his daycare had GRs and he wouldn't consider anything else).We waited many years.I researched breeders for a long time and found one who had experience with sending dogs off for ASD therapy training. She is a wonderful breeder and our Gigi is a lovely dog.
If I had to give a nutshell of advice, this would be it. Having a GR puppy is like having a 3 year old with more legs and 50x the strength. Gigi gets a lot of exercise with us and it's probably still not enough. Without our son in the house, raising her would have been challenging, but expected. With our son's excitability issues, inability to stop telling her commands over and over, worrying about her constantly (OCD), hyperactivity play which encouraged her landshark (loved that!) behavior with him and on and on, raising her during year one was VERY challenging. There were many moments where I thought we had made a very bad decision. Everyone was frustrated, training wouldn't stick because our son couldn't manage it, he was tired of taking care of dog-stuff, you name it.
If I could do it over again, I would look for an older dog...one who was well through the puppy stage. Gigi is still in puppy stage, but has matured so much and is doing great but that doesn't change the fact that the past year was very stressful for everyone and that's not fair to a puppy. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[shabas]

We are looking at adopting a puppy. We have 3 kids one of which has adhd and hyperactivity. Our son has a lot of energy, is easily overwhelmed and sensitive. We are looking for a dog that is confident, affectionate, energetic but able to calm down easily. Do you think a male or a female would be better?
Thanks for your input!

Can you give me a bit more insight into what your ideal adoption process would look like? Are you planning on visiting a breeder or a rescue organization, or both? How important is it for you to have one-on-one time with the puppy before making a decision?"