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Cassie's Mom
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We lost our beautiful Cassie, a 9 1/2 year dark Golden, to cancer four days ago. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through. Worse than losing my parents. She was always, always with us, wanting to please us all of the time. She lived to play with her 50+ squeaky stuffed animals, always choosing a different one to come to bed each night. She slept by my side. Always met us with a toy in her mouth when we would come home. That Golden tail constantly wagging. She also loved to play ball in her backyard and just lay there and watch the birds, bunnies, squirrels, etc. She was always such a happy girl. God truly blessed us when he gave her to us. We had 9 1/2 years of true joy with her. She trained so easily and never chewed things besides her toys. She would never take food unless you told her she could. Never got into things she should not have. She trained us well, too. I don't know that she knew how truly much we loved her or how much she would be missed. I can't stop crying and everywhere I turn in this house is a reminder of her. I never cared about all of the hair, or the toys all over the house or anything she wanted to do, as the joy she gave us was worth more than anything to us. The pain is so deep and my tears don't seem to want to stop. How do you go on? Right now it feels like the pain will never ever lessen. What do you do?
My stomach is shaking all of the time and I keep talking to her, as if she were here. It doesn't feel normal or right that she is gone. It hurts more than I can say.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel in my heart every emotion in your post. We're approaching the 1 year anniversary of my boy crossing the bridge. Cancer took him at 4 years old. It's hard. As cliche as it is, time helps. Have you looked into any grief support groups? My local humane society has one that meets monthly and it was honestly part of what got me through the worst of my grief.

I still cry. The grief will hit me out of no where and I'll just lose it. It happens less often than right after he died. As we geared up to help him across the bridge, I spent like a solid 48 hours crying. The last photos I have with him, I've got wicked red and puffy eyes. You can see the pain etched on my face and he wasn't even gone yet.

Everyone copes differently. I got a lot of backlash for how I coped. I coped by planning for our next puppy. I'm actually getting that puppy in 4 weeks (which will be about 2 weeks after the 1 year anniversary). So over the past year, I've planned for a puppy, I've worked on a scrap book (never finished it), put together a semi-finished photo album of his life, spent about 8 months spinning my wheels in a really bad bout of depression. I spent the first 6 months after he past just angry at everyone and everything.

*hugs*

I know what it feels like to be where you are. It'll get easier. I promise. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss of Cassie. Everyone hopes for more time with their dogs. I have no doubts that Cassie knew how much you loved her. Saying good-bye is the worst part of having a Golden and it does seem unbearable but you just somehow get through one day at a time. It always seems strange that for us it is as big a loss as any close family member but life doesn't come to a stop for mourning quite like it does when it is a person who died and other people don't appreciate how deep the loss can be. Eventually happy memories come and help with the loss.
I will say that for me, after a time of mourning, getting another Golden Retriever is very healing. The new dog never replaces the old, but it brings it's own joy, distraction, and helps fill an empty place in your heart.
I wish comfort and peace for you.
 

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Cassie's Mom
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Discussion Starter #4
Thank you so much for your kind reply. I am very happy you are able to get another puppy. I know your boy would be happy to have another there to love you while he is waiting for you at the bridge. Due to our health issues and age, getting another is not possible for us, so she was our last.........and I can't let go......I will check into support groups Thank you again, and best wishes to you with your new baby.
 

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Due to our health issues and age, getting another is not possible for us, so she was our last.........and I can't let go......I will check into support groups
I am doubly sorry to hear that. I dread the day...
 

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Thank you so much for your kind reply. I am very happy you are able to get another puppy. I know your boy would be happy to have another there to love you while he is waiting for you at the bridge. Due to our health issues and age, getting another is not possible for us, so she was our last.........and I can't let go......I will check into support groups Thank you again, and best wishes to you with your new baby.
In the year wait, things that really eased my soul was hanging out with friend's dogs who shared similar traits/personality styles. My GF has a hound that loves to snuggle and play fetch. He was a balm to my heart in those first few months. And the process of getting the puppy (like once the puppies were born) just reawakened a lot of my grief and spending time with other Goldens really helped me.

So even if you won't be getting another puppy or another dog, maybe you can join a local golden group and hang out with them and enjoy them as a friend and visitor. *hugs* I wish I could make the pain go away.
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss of Cassie, what a very special and wonderful girl she was.

I've had dogs all my life, I've lost 6 in the last 20 years. It's the hardest thing I have ever been through, each one was very special and held a special place in my heart. Take the time you need to grieve and for your heart to heal.

If at some point in time you want to consider another dog, think about adopting an older Golden from a GR Rescue or maybe even foster for the Group. I know you are nowhere close to thinking of getting another dog right now, but it's something to consider if you become ready.

My last several dogs have been young adults, I haven't had a puppy in over 20 years and certainly wouldn't consider one now at my age.......

I am adding Cassie to the Rainbow Bridge list.
 

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Cassie sounds like a wonderful dog. I am sure you gave her a great life..that is why she loved you so much. You can rest assured Cassie knows how much you loved her. I hope time makes you feel better soon and that your new pup gives help easing the loss of Cassie.

Godspeed to Cassie

dlm ny country

“Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love; they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs, your heart is very big.” – Erica Jong
 

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I am so very sorry. We have been there, having lost two other Goldens. The hole they leave is huge. Praying for God’s comfort for you.

Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
 

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Cassie's Mom
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I'm still learning how to use this site, so please be patient with my goof ups............
Every one of you has been so helpful, much more than you know.
I am so thankful for having had our Cassie. She brought us more love and joy than one can imagine. She was literally part of us. I feel like part of me has died without her. She helped me through some rough times and I could not have been more blessed. I guess for those of us who have had and loved our Golden's that we all know there is nothing like them. I am counting on her being at the Bridge when I go, so we can cross together. She certainly is my angel.

To all of you who have shared your stories, I thank you, it is comforting to know others understand. Not many do. I find myself still talking to her throughout the day. I always talked to her all day when I did things around here. My husband was home with her for the first 7 years of her life, then I retired and had 2 1/2 years with her too. It was wonderful to be with her all day, not just before and after work. I'm thankful for that, too.

May God Bless all of us and comfort us.
THANK YOU
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how you feel as I've been thru it too many times. The pain will lessen over time but the love is there forever. If you believe as I do, you'll see your beloved girl again.
 

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Very truly sorry for your loss. Many of us here unfortunately know exactly the pain you are enduring. I lost my 8.5 year old once in a lifetime dog almost two years ago, and I still miss him terribly. Not sure you ever get fully over it but it does fade and become less of a raw open wound over time. Once again, I am truly sorry.
 

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Cassie..there is no doubt she meant the world to you. I went through the loss of 2 dogs over the past 10 months and it still rips my heart out. I know it's just the cycle of life (so I hear from everyone) but it leaves such a big hole in our lives. Hold tight to those memories..look at those pictures..believe it or not a time will come when you laugh and smile when you look at them and you will cherish them for the comfort they bring to you. I too would suggest (if you can) adopting an older dog. A new dog will never replace Cassie but will give you a new focus. I think there is nothing that honors a dog more than getting a new one...you loved them, they loved you and now you have that love to share with a new dog that needs it and Cassie made it possible because she taught you so much about unconditional love. Just take each day at a time..you'll never fully get over it, but you'll learn the memories help. Your note about being greeted with a new stuffed animal brought tears to my eyes...my Sophie and Comet did the same thing and I miss that one thing so much. When we share with each other, the stories help us all through the tough times. My thoughts are with you.
 

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I am so sorry and right there with you. The pain is unbearable at times but I'm trying to hold it together for my 13 year old daughter. I come to this forum to read other post (like yours) and to grieve and it does help. We lost our 5 year old boy this past Monday. I feel your heartache and the only thing I know is that it does get easier and the good memories eventually override the grief. We also lost our 13 year old boy 2 1/2 years ago. That is what gives me hope that I will get through this. Hugs to you as we go through this. Feel free to message me anytime if you just need to grieve or work through your feelings.
 

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HSA cancer took the kindest, sweetest, best dog I've ever had last october. My 7 year old golden Jax died only 3 weeks after diagnosis. I know exactly what you are going through and it just plain stinks and doesn't seem fair that these sweet babies leave us so soon. Life goes on and it does get easier, but dh and I agree that things are different and we will never be the same, exactly. It's hard to put into words, but life just feels different. We did get a golden puppy immediately after, and he will never be Jax, but he does fill a void that has helped to re-focus our attention.

I am so sorry about your sweet Cassie.
 

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So very sorry for your loss of Cassie. We lost our three golden within 9 months of each other last year. All unexpectedly, each less than 2 weeks from the first Vet visit to check out the “they just aren’t right”, not sick but just off. So we also share your pain. A couple things that helped ease the pain: we had large canvas prints made of our favorite picture of the three together and than one of each of them and hung them in the den where we spend most of our time. We made donations to a local animal rescue and to Best Friends in Utah in their honor. And we reminiscenced about all the times we shared - a lot!

You mentioned she was your last dog. Since I’m not sure of the reasons, I wanted to offer a few ideas. Foster for your local rescue. Most rescues are looking for fosters: long term for the dogs they intake, and sometimes for a day or two because their current foster family has a short term issue that requires the rescue dog needs to be relocated. They also always, always seem to need hospice foster care, but that would be extraordinarily difficult so soon after your own loss. Visit your local animal control, humane society or other rescue organization. They often need volunteers to interact with their animals. It reduces the animals’ stress and helps keep or increases socialization and aides in getting them adopted. Finally, offer to walk, play with, help train, pet sit for friends’ and neighbors’ animals. We have a friend for health reasons doesn’t have a dog any longer but we make sure to visit her routinely to give her puppy love time.

The pain will lessen with time. Not because she doesn’t matter any more but because your heart realizes while you can’t see her or hear her walk through your house any longer, she’s still in your heart and memories and she’ll never completely leave you.
 

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Cassie's Mom
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Discussion Starter #17
It was a week ago last Monday that our Cassie had to go. The pain is still so deep and the tears are still coming. I know that I will be with her again one day, and I know that she is no longer suffering. My head knows these things, but my heart is struggling. I miss her furry body next to me in bed, the way she looked at me, our time together just sitting in the yard and watching life around us, how happy she always was. I miss her always being by my side, brushing her teeth, feeding her, watching her play with her toys. I miss every little thing about her. I still talk to her a lot. I do feel her presence around me and I feel that she's trying to help me. I need to listen more to that feeling. It's just so painful and so hard. We all do grieve differently, but we all share the same deep pain and hurt of loss of our best friends. May God fill our hearts with comfort and peace and the knowledge that we will be united again one day.
 

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Cassie

I am so very sorry about your sweet Cassie. My girls name was Smooch!
Don't know if it's possible for you, but maybe fostering for a Golden Rescue or shelter would bring you some joy. I am sure your Cassie would want you to be happy!
 
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