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Basic House Rules for Dogs

If you have to throw up, get into a chair, QUICKLY! If you can't manage that in time, get to an oriental rug. If no oriental rug is available, any good rug will do.

ALWAYS accompany guests to the bathroom. It's not necessary to do anything; just sit and stare.

Do not allow closed doors in ANY room. To get a door opened, stand on your hind legs and hammer it with your front paws.

When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and you'll stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled with food.

Once a door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you've ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things. It's particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.

Begin people training early. You'll then have a smooth-running household. Humans need to know the basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.

By guys have mastered ALL of the house rules :doh::doh::uhoh::uhoh:
 

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Now Caue's Dad Too!
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Those are great. My guys obviously have read and understood all the above rules. In fact as I'm typing this reply and cooking dinner I'm leaning at an unnatural angle to type since I wouldn't think of asking Caue to move. :doh:
 

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My dogs are also following the house rules to the letter.

They would also like to add that you must share your stinkiest, slimiest, and most disgusting toys with guests.
 

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New Mutt on the Block
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Another is that anything placed in a trash can is fair game and may be scattered throughout the household.
 

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Another good place to throw up is right at the base of a door which is standing ajar. That way when someone hears you retching, they will run into the room, swing the door across the vomit, and then maybe if you have aimed just right, they will also step in it.
 

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Lily's memorised those rules and follows them to a T! Such a smart girl to follow the rules at only *almost* 11 months! Lily would also like to add this rule (house-related): Don't forget to throw up in the last 3 minutes of any car ride. Humans really like it when you can time your wretching to just when you finally turn onto your own street.:doh:
 

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In my Boz's case, we need to add "While shaking my head, the more slobber landing on as many pieces of furniture, TV and guests...the better."
 

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Mandy's Mom
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Oh my gosh I am laughing so hard at this thread!

There is one on Flirt's list that I don't see listed: When mom answers the phone be sure to let out a gut-wrenching belch so the caller thinks it's mom.
 

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Lost Her Mind
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When it's really cold outside, usually the first place you decide to poo is not good enough. Roam around the yard a little, squat a couple of times, just to make sure you're comfortable enough. If one spot isn't perfect, find another.
 
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