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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
House Rules for Dogs and Cats. Post them where they can be read by your pets.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print belong to you and contain your food. The rest of the dishes belong to me and contain my food.
Please note, if you put a paw print in the middle of my plate or food, that does not stake a claim for it. It is still mine. I also do not find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
NASCAR did not design the stairway. It is not a racetrack. Trying to beat me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me will not help you win because I will fall faster than you can run.
A king-sized bed is the largest that is made. I cannot get anything bigger. I am sorry about this. Do not expect me to continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats are capable of curling into a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular next to each other and stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
Sticking your tail out straight and hanging your tongue out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I manage to beat you there and get the door shut, it is not necessary to whine, meow, claw, try to turn to doorknob, or squeeze your paw under the door to try to pull it open. I have to exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for many years -- feline or canine attendance is not required.

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit Us and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

  1. They live here. You don't.
  2. If you don't like their hair on your clothing, then stay off the furniture. (That's why it's called it "fur"niture.)
  3. I like my pets better than I like most people.
  4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he or she is an adopted son or daughter who is hairy, short, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than children because they:

  1. Eat less.
  2. Usually come when called.
  3. Are easier to train.
  4. Don't ask for money all the time.
  5. Don't drink or smoke.
  6. Don't hang out with friends who use drugs.
  7. Never ask to drive the car.
  8. Don't have to have the latest fashions.
  9. Don't want to wear your clothes.
  10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
  11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

 

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Tess and Liza
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Hm....I did recognize quite a few of your rules...and here I am, thinking about getting another puppy...
 

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Gwen,
That was great, I chuckled as I was reading because Izzy makes a beeline to the bathroom when she sees me going there. She feels as though lying by my feet while I do my thing will comfort me?

Great Rules!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Gwen,
That was great, I chuckled as I was reading because Izzy makes a beeline to the bathroom when she sees me going there. She feels as though lying by my feet while I do my thing will comfort me?

Great Rules!
Try three golden boys who don't think that Mom can go to the bathroom without them :doh::doh::doh: If we have company, I don't dare ever using the (2) guest bathrooms but use our master bedroom ensuite because the boys are coming in! This also applies when I bathe - all three of them are filling the bathroom. Thai also tries to help drying me by licking my legs :uhoh::uhoh::uhoh:
 

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Thanks for the chuckles. We are thinking of posting you rules for visitors at our door!
 

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I love the part about the king size bed. :). We have to race to bed at night because the last one in has to try to squeeze out enough room. I can' t tell you how much we laugh at the crazy sleeping positions because we won't make our two get out of the bed. Thanks for posting!
 

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I loooove this! Especially the part about the bed. I'm currently sleeping in a twin sized bed and since I refuse to use the heat, Flora has decided that my bed is the warmest spot in my apt at night. But rather than be a good dog and sleep at the foot of my bed, she likes to stretch out across the middle of my bed, graciously leaving a miniature little square of bed for me to sleep on.
 

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Thanks for posting this. I think I will frame it and put it by the front door when I get my puppy so everyone can read it. It's so true!
 
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