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Kodasmomma
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Discussion Starter #1
So I posted this in the teenage thread but thought I would enlist help of others as well here.

Lately Koda has been very restless when it comes time to go to bed. She was always so good. We took her outside, when we brought her in she would walk right to the bedroom, and she would come up on the bed for snuggles until we put her down. She has been out of her crate at night for about 2 weeks now, we shut the bedroom door so she is still in the room with us all night.

Now she has just been restless. It started out fairly normal, still going out, walking to the room, but when we put her up on the bed she would pace around the bed and not settle. (majority of the time she was already sleeping in the living room prior to coming to bed so I know she is tired). Last night she hid under the table when we tried to take her out the last time and when we brought her in she did the same thing instead of going down to our bedroom. Once we got her in the room she was better but I had to guide her to the hallway to get her to go down there. She sniffed around a littel last night but within a few minutes she was sleeping on her bed.

It is just so different...and the hiding under the table is what really bothers me. Is she scared of us or is it her way of saying "I don't want to go out"? I have always felt guilty that we both work during the day but we give her SOO much attention and exercise when we get home. She goes on a long walk (1 mile +), we run around the basement at least twice in a night (chases toys), we play in the living room all throughout the night, she gets a frozen kong or bully stick...I dont know what else to do. I feel absolutely horrible right now like I am not making her happy...any advice or anyone else that has gone through something like this??
 

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gone
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Probably another stage, just when we figured we know them they change. My Mom used to complain about this about us girls when we were teenagers. LOL

How old is Koda? Maybe putting her back in her crate. The crate gives them a sense of it's their own, like the den in the wild. Perhaps she's feeling out of sorts and being out isn't so new anymore.
 

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Tracer, Rumor & Cady
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Koda is pretty darn smart...why would she want all that fun interactive stimulation to end by going out and going to bed? Might be worth trying to wind down earlier in the evening.
 
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It sounds like she is just being stubborn! I bet she is thinking - "I know they want me to go to bed, and even though I actually WANT to go to bed, I'm not going to because I don't want to do what they want!" Teenagers! :)

Mosby is only 5 months, and he always seems a little hestitant to go to bed... we've started giving him a bedtime cookie once he lies down in his bed on his own. I can't actually say the cookie has made a difference, but it makes me feel less guilty.
 

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Have you tried skipping that last potty and just turning off the lights and going to the bedroom? It may be that she doesn't need that last outing...Penny's last time out is at 8:00 and then she's done for the night. She stays in the family room with us until the tv and lights go off and we leave the room. She's usually the first one in bed!

I would try going along with what she wants for 1 night and see how it goes. She may be trying to tell you that she doesn't need to go.
 

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I would try changing thing up a little bit for a few days and she how she does.
Do the last potty break about a half hour earlier and then come back in and hang out for a little while doing what you normally do before the last potty break. Then just try going to bed separately from the potty break. If she still seems uncomfortable I would start recrating her for bed time for a little while eventually leaving the crate door open but closing the bedroom door.
 

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Nancy
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Maybe she doesn't need to go out. Hank rarely goes out before bedtime. Unless she's having accidents or getting you up during the night, I wouldn't worry and let her be.
On these cold, dark evenings maybe she likes to snuggle-in early.

Usually Hank sleeps in our room but for whatever reason he sometimes sleeps in the greatroom or on the rug by the front door. Sometimes he stays up with my husband, sometimes he goes to the bedroom when I do or then later goes back out by hubby. He's already gone in to our room before us. He does whatever and I don't think it has anything to do with happiness. Don't over think it.
 

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Kodasmomma
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Discussion Starter #8
Thanks guys, I think I am definitely over thinking it. I would think she doesn't have to go but it might be more she doesn't want to go to bed. We will definitely try letting her out earlier and letting that be it. Come back in and not make a big deal about it. It only concerned me last night cuz when we went to get her out from under the table she was backing away from us, probably because she knew if we got her she was going to bed...

she is 9.5 months. her crate is in the room with us and we still will put her in there when we take her off the bed but leave the crate door open, she comes right out from in the crate and goes to find a place on the floor to sleep. It might just be an adjustment for her like you guys said. Hopefully we will get over this and if it continues I think its a good idea to go back to the crate for a while until she is past this teenage stage.

Thank you all so much, I really appreciate your advice, we take it all in and use it! :)
 

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Dog Lover
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Koda's Mom

Koda's Mom

I just want to add that most people who have dogs HAVE TO WORK and do WORK, so enough of that guilt!! Koda knows she is loved!!
My next door neighbor hires someone to walk her two dogs at noon and pays $17.50 per day. Even when I had a job, we couldn't afford that, so our dogs had to wait until we both came home from work.
 

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Kodasmomma
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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks Karen. We do pay to have her get a walk and play time for an hour each day or one of our mothers comes over to do that with her. I know it is common, she just gives me those darn eyes and I feel horrible leaving her behind...I just keep thinking maybe someday I can be part time at least and not be gone sooo much! :)
 

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luverofpeanuts
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Thanks guys, I think I am definitely over thinking it.
It's hard to say, but I often think I do the same thing.

One lesson I learned with one of our previous dogs, Abby, is that sometimes our pups can be so zeroed in on our own emotions...that it will work against us. For instance, I can tell it bothers you that this is happening...when it happens. Well, perhaps Koda senses some anxiety in you about this... and that it turn, is making her more anxious.

That's what my Abby was....I always wondered why Abby was so different with my wife on walks when other dogs went by....Abby seemed always to be irritable, or more "on guard", with me... and a little more "happy go lucky" when with my wife. It's because when we met people on our walks...especially with other dogs... ** I ** was the one that went on alert mode because I wanted to make sure there wasn't any rough greetings, or confrontation with the other dogs. Abby picked up on that, and acted more anxious...which made things worse. I had to consciously focus on sending positive mental images in these situations, and it made Abby much better. I do think that varies by dog.... but Koda could be one of those dogs that's really connected to you..and if she sense you're anxious... it'll make her anxious.

Just a thought ;-)
 

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Kodasmomma
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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks, I am sure that has something to do with it. We do see her picking up on emotions in other situations so this very well could be part of my problem. When she goes to hide under the table we both get frustrated/anxious and that is probably why she is staying away....we will have to work on handling our emotions!

Thanks guys, you are all so great!
 

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Kodasmomma
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Discussion Starter #13
We had a horrible night last night. She is still not enjoying going to bed anymore. Last night she had been going going going until 10. Normally she falls asleep in the living room or kitchen but we figured tonight was a good night to try out our new method so we brought her into the bedroom. She paced...and paced..and paced. We close the door because we don't want her having free roam of the house yet. She was up on the bed, standing at the corner just staring at the door. I have started to think she doesn't like the door being closed. She was not doing well so we thought maybe she just isn't ready and we should put her back in the crate. BaD idea! She panicked, she wouldn't lay down, she kept doing cirlces in her crate and just panting like crazy. We took her out and she went and laid down next to the bed and fell asleep...this was all about a half hour ordeal though. I don't get it! Now she doesn't like her crate anymore but she also doesn't want the door closed. I hate to see her stressed but we don't have any other options....
 

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can you get a baby gate and put it across the bedroom door? that way she can see out to the house and still be in the bedroom? or let her sleep where she wants one night, you sleep on the sofa or near her. or like a teenager, go to bed without her and see if she comes up to see where you are? good luck
beth, moose and angel
 

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Nancy
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We did the baby gate across the door for awhile when Hank gave up his crate. I don't like sleeping with the door closed either.
 
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