[Dreammom]

I just lost my father, I have a broken right shoulder and am on absolute no duty per drs. Needless to say I am not feeling very Christmasy...my house is a mess - I live with 3 men who don't care. They would not even put up a tree for me. I can't drive, have been unable to shop...can't cook or bake. Yet my grown daughter who is married and been in her own home for 4 years...can't offer us an invitation there...insists on coming here. her hubby is highly allergic to dogs...I am in no mood or shape to entertain them, nor want anyone to see my house this way....its not just her either, the usuals want to come and I just can't do it. I want to go to sleep and wake up after new years!

 

[Sally's Mom]

I am so sad for you... I hope you get some aspect of a Merry Christmas.

 

[vcm5]

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time - I don't think you sound wrong at all. Have you tried calling your daughter and explaining how you feel and how hard this would be on you on top of everything else?

 

[Looni2ns]

You have every right not to feel in the Christmas spirit. Take your pain meds, snuggle up with your warm , loving furkids, and take this Christmas off. If they want Christmas, they can bring it to you in bed. Seriously. If they start whining, leave and get yourself an uber nice hotel room with room service.

 

[ZeppGold]

I understand exactly how you feel. You should just say that you are taking the year off. It is bad to say, but sometimes I feel that my favorite part of Christmas is when everyone goes home on Christmas Day and I can relax. But I know that is just what mothers do. Please try to take some kind of break. Or at least don't feel bad for feeling how you do.

 

[mylissyk]

Tell them they will be expected to clean the house and do all the cooking, you are injured and on doctors orders no work. Ridiculous if they expect you to take care of them under these circumstances. They can wait on you for once.

They can come but they are responsible for all the work, and if they aren't going to do it, they are not welcome to come.

 

[kwhit]

Tell 'em you've got the flu and you're in quarantine. After all, you'd only be thinking about their health, right?

 

[Dreammom]

thanks all...I guess this where I am hurt and angry. they call, they know the situation ...there has been no offer of I will bring something, i will help. one person even said I'm sure you will put on your usual big spread...huh what part of I can't do they not understand? I have said no...I can't what more can I do?

 

[LibertyME]

Wow you've been dealt a bum deal! Maybe make a plan to have a good book to read in bed for the day. Dogs can stay with you and snuggle. Let the other adults in the family fend for themselves.

 

[Allan's Girl]

Do Nothing! They'll get the picture when you answer the door in your robe. I'm sorry, but these people sound very inconsiderate and selfish. I would do nothing and ask them "what part of I can't didn't you understand!"

I am sorry. I hope you get the rest and puppy love you deserve over the holidays.

 

[GinnyinPA]

If anybody shows up, give them the number for the nearest pizza or Chinese takeout place. Time for them to grow up and think of somebody else for a change.

You have every right to say "No!"

 

[coppers-mom]

I am so sorry your kids and husband have not stepped up to the plate for you like they should.

I hate how Christmas has become such a ..... selfish (?) occassion for way too many.

 

[spruce]

I feel so badly for you. Agree you should do nothing & let them know that. If they show up a lesson will be learned. Or you could be pleasantly surprised (don't count on it!)

 

[LilTuffGirl]

That's pretty crappy and a bit disrespectful! I wouldn't put up with it honestly. But then again i've gotten pretty hard headed and stubborn lately. :
Heck I couldn't deal with a husband who wouldn't do anything for me unless I begged then when he did it he would complain about doing it. But at least he eventually put a tree up for me last year! While complaining...
Now my b/f does anything and everything in the world for me. If I mention possibly wanting something or wanting to do something he jumps up and wants to do it for me. It's a bit odd.. lol

I say it's time to smile and do your own thing. Let them know how it is and what you've been going through and just walk away. Maybe they don't see what they are doing?

 

[Willow52]

Do Nothing! They'll get the picture when you answer the door in your robe. I'm sorry, but these people sound very inconsiderate and selfish. I would do nothing and ask them "what part of I can't didn't you understand!"

I am sorry. I hope you get the rest and puppy love you deserve over the holidays.

I totally agree here. People cannot take advantage of you IF YOU DON'T ALLOW IT. If they do show up empty handed, hand them the local pizza carry-out menu. This is beyond nervy IMO and your (grown?) children and husband ought to know better.

Cyber hugs and Merry Christmas.

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

I hope today is a blessing for you. I know how it is: how nice for family to notice your needs, to volunteer to make you happy, to have it come from their heart. You shouldn't even have to ask.

Everybody thinks about giving back to the community. A great place to start is: at home, with mom!

(((((hugs)))))

 

[gdgli]

If anybody shows up, give them the number for the nearest pizza or Chinese takeout place. Time for them to grow up and think of somebody else for a change.

You have every right to say "No!"

I say feed them bologna sandwiches, no pickle, tap water, and lousy coffee. Also keep the house cold and let the dogs beg at the table.

 

[GoldensGirl]

You are not wrong at all.

I remember a season long ago when my ex-, his brothers and we daughters-in-law descended on the family home for the holidays. We had insisted to Mom that she must not cook or clean... that we were coming to see her, not to check her housekeeping. We younger folks spent that happy week taking turns grocery shopping and cooking for the whole family, cleaning the kitchen and cleaning the rooms we all used. I recall that we left the freezer full of good food and the house clean as only my MIL would have wished.

My Christmas wish for you is that your family will surprise you with something similar and pay back a little of the loving care you have shown them. If not, I hope you can enjoy the holidays in peace with the good company of your fur-people instead of laboring to provide for humans who don't deserve it.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

Checking in to see how it went.

 

[Sweet Girl]

I'm sort of hoping you'll come and tell us that they all surprised you by picking you up and taking you out to Christmas dinner at someone else's house.

If they didn't, they're a bunch of self-centered sods. Sorry to say.