[C's Mom]

Has your child converted to a different religion? If so, how did you handle it?

Firstly, let me say that while I do believe I don't belong to any one religion - if that makes sense. I refer to myself as spiritual but not religious. My child is going to a church that I wouldn't choose for myself, not sure if she is even going to stick with it but its given me some worry. I'd like to hear from others who may have or are going through something similar.

 

[Florabora22]

My father came from a very devout Lutheran family. Both my brother and I are agnostic. When my brother got married, he told my father that they were not getting married in a church and my father had a very hard time with it. In fact, at one point he told my brother that he wouldn't consider them officially married if they didn't wed in a church.

Over time though, my father came to accept my brother and his wife's choice, and when the wedding came, he couldn't have been more happy about it. They did get married by a minister, but it was a ceremony that was all about love and friendship and not about religion.

I know my father isn't necessarily happy that his children are not christians, but he is accepting of our choices. I think you need to accept your daughter's choice - she is a grown woman, and it is her right to choose what religion she wants to follow. If, of course, this religion is dangerous to her (i.e. a cult), then that is a different story.

 

[GoldenSail]

I don't have any children so no. However, I have left the religion I was raised in as have all of my siblings (and there are 6 of us total). It has caused major strains in relations with the parents. Unfortunate that religion can do that to families.

 

[Megora]

You pray on it and let it be. Unless your daughter is joining a religion that is harmful to her in some way, I think you have to respect her decision as an adult to go to that church.

In my family, this generally means that we must be very careful in handling friends and family who belong to a different religion. It's offering gifts, for example, to recognize a wedding that we will not attend, etc.

By the flip token, my sister's husband converted to our religion. His family never came to his baptism/first communion/confirmation or recognized my niece's baptism, first communion, and confirmation. I suspect they were unhappy about his conversion, but happy he was happy. And while they never attended those ceremonies which are very important to our family, they have remained close family.

And just to add... my sister never forced her husband to convert. It was something that happened gradually until a point where he decided he wanted to be baptised. It was a very hard thing for him, particularly since he was deeply dug into his former religion, to the point of going on missions to convert other people to this religion. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for his family seeing him change away from what he was raised with.

 

[Sally's Mom]

Don't let religion be something that divides you and your daughter... Accept her for her differences... my family has multiple religious backgrounds in it, and I respect every one for their own beliefs and expect them to respect me for mine...

 

[Jige]

My mom raise is a very strict catholic household and my father was raised strict luthern. Both of my parents said that they would not do that to us children. There are 6 of us ( one passed away). Both of my brothers are Jehovah Witness. My other brother was alos Jehovah Witness but he was schizophrenic and committed sucide 20yrs ago. My oldest sister is catholic, my other sister practices Native American religion and I am atheist.

My son I introduced to all religions, I bought a book to tell him about hindu, buddism, I took him to different churches. I let him decide for himself for felt right. He has decided at this point in his life he is following his Native American spirit.

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

Our daughter converted from Lutheran to Catholic so she could join in with her husband at church. While she doesn't accept all the premises of the faith, she's very happy in that congregation. She teaches Sunday School and he is part of the choir and plays the guitar for services. I was unhappy about it for a while but to me it's all the same, just different ways of going about it, different rituals. I never said anything to discourage her or prevent it.

Our son and his wife don't go to church but are both Christians and raising the kids according to Christian beliefs. They are both Lutheran.

I'm a very religious person, deep faith but I don't go to church. Services are too casual for me, not religious enough. What's with the greeting in the middle of the service? Egad, I hate that. Isn't that what you're supposed to do before and after the service? I tried but just haven't found a service intense enough for me. So I enjoy my Sunday mornings at home while Penny's Dad goes to church and Sunday school.

I spend a lot of the time meditating and playing my favorite hymns on the piano...songs they never sing in church anymore. Music is/was a huge part of it for me.

 

[Willow52]

My husband & I are of different religions. It has never caused a problem for us in our almost 37 year marriage nor with our families when were first met. He does attend church with me and we raised our daughter in my religion.

Honestly, unless it's some far-out sect where harm could come to her, I'd leave it be, especially if she is an she is an adult. We all have the right to choose to worship in our own way in an atmosphere where we feel comfortable.

 

[C's Mom]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

It took me by surprise at first and I was fearful but I quickly came to the same conclusions that many of you have stated here - she's an adult and has to make her own choices.

What tweaked it back up for me today was I watched the new TLC show "American Muslim" (I think thats what its called) and a young catholic man converted to Islam so that he could marry his bride.

I'm in wait and see mode.

 

[lgnutah]

I was surprised as I read this thread, by how many people named the Lutheran religion--because I thought it was one of the religions that had fewer followers these days (my mother's father was a Lutheran minister so I was brought up Lutheran).

 

[iansgran]

When my husband and I married his parents had some trouble with the difference in our religions at first (he was Mormon and I Catholic) but got over it by the time of the wedding--that is until 17 years later when my husband became a Catholic. His dad disowned him -- for a short time, then got over that too. One of my kids is entirely agnostic, one goes to church more or less, but for sure don't let it come between you and your family.

 

[Dallas Gold]

Religious differences cause wars between countries and major family rifts. If she's an adult and if the religion is not a dangerous cult that threatens her physically/emotionally, I would not let the conversion come between you.

 

[Sally's Mom]

Dallas Gold, my feelings,exactly. I watched a documentary called Precious Life taking place at the Gaza strip. In the documentary, the Israeli hospital and doctors save the life of a Palestinian boy with an immune deficiency. It was eye opening and made me so sad to see how religious beliefs have divided humanity....

 

[Debles]

I was brought up Protestant but converted to Catholicism when I married. My daughters were brought up Catholic. But when I divorced (and annulled) I remarried a recovering catholic who is someone who doesn't practice anymore. My husband and I are very spiritual but don't have a specific religion now. Two of my daughters are spiritual also but don't attend a specific church. My other daughter who is a scientist says she is an atheist. This disturbs me and I am concerned for her children who are getting no spiritual upbringing but I also accept that they are adults and can raise their children as they choose. I pray for them.

 

[Sally's Mom]

You can raise wonderful children without a church upbringing... You just need good, interested , invested parents.

 

[Bella's Mama]

I don't have kids but there are many different religions in my family. (I'm very religious while my twin brother, for example, isn't at all). It doesn't bother me at all, and I hope it doesn't bother you. I can't imagine being upset by other religions and letting it affect how I feel about my family. I love them all regardless, even if I do not necessarily agree with their actions or beliefs.

Give yourself time, and you will come around, I believe. Let yourself come around.

 

[A1Malinois]

My parents raised me as a Catholic though my mother couldnt stand it (it was my fathers side pushing it). I even went to a Catholic school. I didnt like how they crammed religion down your throat. So finally when I graduated Grade 8 I told my parents if they made me attend a catholic high school I would not go. So, they let me go to a public high school which I barely attended anyway lol (I was a horrible child). I didnt like how they made you wear uniforms and the girls had to wear skirts. I dont like skirts...I hate them and you will never see me wear one. They say everyone is unique and different but forced us to dress the same. They also had a glass stairwell where all the....men...would stand under and stare at the ladies walking up in skirts. That...I never agreed with.

So, I dont know what religion I am. I dont really follow anything. I dont believe in some of the Catholic parts like how they dont believe in Condoms, Birth control or sex before marriage (They would hang me if I found out I broke all three of those rules...). I just dont care for stuff like that. If I dont wish to have kids thats MY decision to make and I am not going to let some person dressed in a robe tell me otherwise. I also dont believe in Heaven or Heck, I rarely attend church and I only do it out of consideration for my grandmother. I will usually go when someone dies in the family. I went for my mother (who told every one she didnt want a Catholic funeral as she wasnt catholic but got one any way O.O)...I went for my grandfathers funeral and my Aunts I had to miss because it was 2 hours away and I couldnt make it up for the viewing and funeral.

I dont go for Christmas, Easter etc. Usually I go when someone starts to complain I never go. So maybe once a year.

Kinda sad when you dont believe what religion you follow lol Oh well...I guess I just live day by day and problems solve or find a solution when a problem comes around where other people believe in their religion

 

[Florabora22]

I wish everyone in the world were as accepting of different spiritual beliefs as the people in this thread are. I think we'd all be in a much happier place.

 

[Megora]

I wish everyone in the world were as accepting of different spiritual beliefs as the people in this thread are. I think we'd all be in a much happier place.

As somebody whose grandfather saw his entire family (30 people) killed for their faith (heads chopped off - my 5 year old grandfather only survived because he was outside hiding in the sheep)... and knowing there are people out there who haven't changed.... I totally have to second this. I wish all people could practice their faith freely without fear of death or imprisonment.

 

[C's Mom]

You can raise wonderful children without a church upbringing... You just need good, interested , invested parents.

This is where I am coming from. I think she needs something more structured, something more? I honestly don't have a problem with this part but I do with others - I'd really love to get into it here but I fear that this thread has the potential to get really ugly.

As a child, the central message I got from religion was "love your neighbour as you love yourself" but I didn't see a lot of this happening in real life, regardless of the religion.

I raised my children to keep their hearts and minds open to all people, even folks that are very different from themselves. So, yeah, I do have a big problem when the bible tells them that there are certain people who get excluded. I'm sorry if I have offended people but this has been my reality.