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Fetch!
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184 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
 

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Fetch!
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184 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Sorry, stumbled upon a website with so many good ones!
 

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3 goldens
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11,810 Posts
Heck, that is just about what us southern folks, especially texans, did to the english language. We shortened words by droping letters....gonna instead of going to, fixin ta instead of fixing to and by the way how peole are "fixing to go to to the store, etc. And of course the od ya'll instead of you all or everyone.

I found it cute. I use to work with a lady from holland and loved to listen to her talk. She said mudder and fadder instead of mother and father and it sounded so darn cute.
 

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"GO TARHEELS!!!"
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772 Posts
I was actually reading this as "real" and thought that they had some REALLY GOOD ideas in the first couple sentences. It wasn't until I was about half-way through before I could see where it was going! TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Registered
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6,263 Posts
Hee hee - hope the PC brigade aren't looking in
 

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Shameless and Proud
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2,305 Posts
I am a wicked bad copier so I never said wicked until I moved to new hampshire, and now...I say y'all....heaven forbid I ever go to England I will be one messed up person...interms of my accent.
 
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