[GoldenJoy]

Help me with this down day, please! Joy is 6 months old, and she's doing wonderfully. I love her so much. I am just feeling down today (not in front of her!) that I never get the tail wag. Never. Every other person we know - husband, kids, neighbors, STRANGERS - gets the big, sweepy tail wag. Me? Nothin'. Husband says it's because she never gets to "greet" me. I get her out of the crate in the morning, she's with me all day, (barring trips to the grocery store, of course) I do the bulk of her training and exercising and playing. Am I just old hat? We just came in from playing, and I feel so let down. She likes the sticks and the balls, but I don't know if she'd even care if I weren't the one throwing them.

Goodness, I sound whiny as I re-read this. Oh well. We had our wonderful positive trainer here yesterday who said she is doing terrific and gave us some more ideas for working her attention span and stuff like that, but I was too embarrasses to ask about this. I didn't want to say out loud, "I don't think Joy cares about me."

It was easier when she was a puppy because I kept saying, "Well, she doesn't really know me yet." Well, it's been 4 months since we brought her home, and I still feel like she really couldn't care less about me. We've done obedience classes, swimming, will be starting more classes on Saturday. Honestly, I felt like she wanted to go home with the trainer yesterday.

Going to "jolly up" now and go back to the kids and puppy. Thanks for any words of wisdom. Please don't slam me for wanting some emotional return from this pup. I don't think I'm being selfish - I just want a little of what everyone else gets or at least I want to know that this is something that can grow.

Thanks

 

[mdoats]

I know my dog loves me but I never get the crazy welcome that visitors get. I'm with him almost all the time so he doesn't have much of a chance to miss me. But when he spent the night at my sister's house, he grabbed one of my shoes and laid there with his chin on it looking pathetic until I got back. When I walked in the door he came flying to me.

 

[GoldenJoy]

Maybe I should leave her with someone else for 20 minutes and see what happens? Thanks for replying. I don't know why I am so stricken about this today.

 

[Augustus McCrae's Mom]

Gus rarely wags his tail for me, except in the mornings when I turn off that monster--the hair dryer! He wags his tail for my husband all the time, which does make me jealous sometimes, but if I ever want him to wag it, I just tell him to go get daddy! I think it may have something to do with what mdoats said, how he never really has a chance to miss me (or at least he didn't for most of his life since I worked from home). But sometimes I think too that he just likes my husband better, and I'm okay with that (because sometimes I think my husband likes him better than me too ).

 

[amy22]

I felt the saem way as you. My girl, Misty is 20 months old and I felt the same exact way. I was the one that was ALWAYS with her. I trained, fed, let her out of the crate, spent almost all day with her and I never got a tail wag..she would come in from outside and go to my fiancee to get a pet and she would wag her tail..if she came in the room she would walk past me and go right to him..in the mornings she was so happy to see him and she did not seem happy to see me, shed just go aobut her business. The only thing I was good for was a playmate...and strange thing is, she will not play fetch with my fiancee only ME,but I was still crushed at her treatment of me. I just kept working with her and loving her and I dont know, I think I must be used to it. The only time she seems happy to see me is if I go out of town and I am gone for a few days..then when I come home she is soooo happy. I know she loves me (although for a LONG time I didnt think so) I think she takes me for granted. Thats just her personality towards me. No other dog that I have ever had or ever come into contact with treats me like that. I guess its just our relationship. I used to get so down and jealous about this, but now Im ok with it..thats just "us"

 

[LuckyPup]

Do not feel too bad. I think it is natural. My boyfriend works from home and he does not get it either. I am sure Joy loves you very much!

 

[missmarstar]

When I get home from work mine are both happy and excited, but I'm convinced it's only because they are happy they get to go outside to potty and know dinner will follow immediately. If I run an errand and come home not at dinner time, they barely will even get up from whatever couch they're snoozing on to acknowledge my presence. LOL

When my fiance would come home from work though (sometimes only a few hour work day, not like he'd be gone for a long time) he'd get them both running to the backdoor to wait for him to walk in, followed by big swishy excited tails and they'd both rub up against his legs and jump up for hugs and face licking, etc...

I just have learned to get over it LOL

 

[Pudden]

Don't worry about it. Tail wagging is over-rated. Dogs wag for all kinds of reasons, for happy excitement, but also for tension and insecurity. It's not a sign of love. She may wag at strangers in part because she's not sure how she'll be recieved by them. With you, she's secure and familiar, so wagging may not be necessary.

The Pud doesn't wag when she's with me either. She wags when she meets new people, dogs, when she's digging up squirrels or expecting food

 

[Mssjnnfer]

OH MAN... seriously, I thought I was the only one who felt like that! I was just talking about it with the hubby the other day! I'm home ALL DAY with them. And then he comes home, gets jumped on, lots of tail-wagging, excitement... he'll sit down and they jump up to cuddle next to them, leaving me alone on the couch like chopped liver. Wait, no, they'd probably like chopped liver. LOL

I get jealous a lot. I swear, even the cat likes him more.

When Mojo was a lot younger, I'd actually cry. I'd be like, "HE DOESN'T LIKE MEEEEEEE" because he would just ignore me during the day. UNTIL I'd go to the bathroom or leave the room for a second. Then he would cry, and that would make me feel a little better... like... at least he noticed I was gone, LMAO!

 

[janine]

Wait, no, they'd probably like chopped liver. LOL Mssjnner....it's true, you took the words right out of my mouth. Its what I have told my husband as well. I have also told my husband he is not going to be allowed near MY new puppy so he bonds with me. I also know thats not going to happen....oh well chopped liver I will be.

 

[amy22]

I am so glad Im not the only one that feels like this!!! Thanks Goldenjoy...and Im sure Joy LOVES YOU!!!

 

[Mad's Mom]

Mad who's 19 months doesn't wag her tail or get excited to see me either and we live alone together. She's always over excited to see my family, friends, and kids in the neighborhood. I've just convinced myself she doesn't feel the need to try to win me over, cause she's already got me.

When we are with people for a while after the initial excitement of seeing them dies down, I am the one she comes to sit beside, and she brings her toys to me to play.

 

[Pudden]

you gotta remember how the tail-wagging greeting ritual evolved in the first place: in wolf pups, for example, it's a food-soliciting thing when Mom or other adults come back to the den. In adults, it can be used as a subserviant kind-of "please don't bite me" greeting. In either case, it's to greet new arrivals to the pack, it's not really used as a sign of affection for pack members who are already there.

 

[roxanness]

Don't feel bad, my guy wouldn't even make eye contact with me! I finally took him to
the Vet because I thought that perhaps he was Autistic. Whenever I took him to his agility class he would run over to anyone but me, lean on them and meet thier gaze with with a look of true love.....they all laughed. I have to admit my feelings were a little hurt at the time but I learned to accept it because after all, I adored him. One day one of the other handlers asked if she could run my dog and I thought "why not, he doesn't seem to care about me anyway". So, off she went with my dog, his tail wagging and him looking up into her face. I stayed behind and thought I'd watch from a distance, everything went well for the first couple of obstacles and then he panicked - he started frantically looking around and then he jumped right out of the arena and ran as fast as he could right back to the place he last saw me....and where I still was.

I guess he does like me after all.