[photomel]

I am very disappointed that my husband is not willing to get a puppy or rescue golden. We lost our golden about 5 weeks ago and I would love to start looking/planning to get another pup, but he is just not ready. He has some health issues and thinks that he will not be able to handle a dog.....especially a puppy. It makes me sad because I miss having a golden as part of our family and I miss the companionship and unconditional love I got from our dog Porter. We lost him too soon.

 

[mm03gn]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss Try to give your husband some time - the loss of Porter probably affected him very deeply, and sometimes people are afraid to get hurt again. I think in a bit of time he will open up to the idea of another golden to love, but you don't want to rush him...

 

[pt83]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss Try to give your husband some time - the loss of Porter probably affected him very deeply, and sometimes people are afraid to get hurt again. I think in a bit of time he will open up to the idea of another golden to love, but you don't want to rush him...

I'm so sorry for your lost and I completely agree with Melissa

 

[EvilNessCroft]

I'm sorry for your loss... He was so beautiful!... If you give your husband some time, I'm sure he'll change his mind.

 

[Doreens]

So sorry for your sad loss. I suppose it its part of the grief process. Your husband just needs more time. Good luck your golden was beautiful.

 

[BonnieM]

So very sorry for your loss. The hurt does run so deep. Give your husband some time. When he's ready, you'll both be able to welcome another dog into your lives. Good luck.

 

[AquaClaraCanines]

Are you the primary care-giver of the dog? I take care of all five of ours completely by myself. If you are able to do the training and grooming and exercising, maybe he will consider it? My DH loves to play with them time to time, when he's in the mood to wrestle with them, but that's it. They're definitely my dogs.

 

[Noey]

Maybe he just needs a little more time. I think they help when you have health issues...brings comfort to that person. What about fostering for a while? like a baby step. Your helping them get to a good home. Or you can maybe volunteer at a rescue for a little while until he is ready.

 

[Karen519]

Photomel

photomel

I agree with what AquaClara said-Are you the primary Caregiver?
I am pretty much, except for walks very early in the morning that Ken used to do.

What if you offered to Foster a Golden Ret. with your Gold. Ret. rescue.
Perhaps one that is 3 years or older and a little more laid back.
Maybe your Hubby would be on board with that?

 

[paula bedard]

I know exactly how you feel. I was going through Golden withdrawal after Sam's passing. I will say though, that I jumped back in too soon and my early relationship with Ike suffered for it. Sam passed in January and we picked our new puppy in March. I compared everything Ike did to how Sam had done them...not fair but I couldn't help myself. I had such high expectations and became depressed and felt guilty...guilty because I was not able to appreciate Ike for his uniqueness and depressed because I was still mourning Sam. Thank goodness that Ike, the joyous creature that he is, kept at me until I finally gave in and opened my heart to him.

I think your husband may just need time. In the meantime, you can occupy yourself with doing Rescue and Breeder research. I do have 'adopting a rescue' on my Some Day Wish List. I've seen the 'Happily Ever Afters' here at the forum.

 

[fostermom]

I am so sorry for your loss. Porter was a beautiful boy.

I think Karen hit on a great idea. Maybe you can foster for a little while. That might start easing the pain for both of you, without having to commit to a permanent member of your family.

 

[Willow52]

My answer is a little different...

When our Maggie went to Rainbow Bridge in July (7/20/09) the first thing out of my husband's mouth was "no more pets". But our daughter had other ideas, she immediately started the search for a new puppy for me. My husband works on the road 4 days/week and our daughter & granddaughter are always busy, so Maggie's passing was especially hard on me since I'm home alone a lot.

Hank came home on 8/12/09 as an early birthday gift. Well, let me tell you, my husband loves Hank and is his biggest fan. They take walks, play ball and they stays up late together. On the first morning after bringing Hank home that he was leaving for a trip I heard him in telling Hank goodbye. He acts like the tough guy but is a softy at heart.

Of course I don't know your husband but how about you starting the search on your own. Had my daughter not given me Hank, I would have gotten the ball rolling on my own. Actually I had started looking around on the internet and in the newspaper but hadn't made any calls. I found this Forum during one of those searches. Maybe he just needs a gentle nudge or the decision taken out of his hands.

 

[Traz]

It took us a while after we lost our 1st Golden. I originally said I didn' want another dog. It hurt too much. 10 months later we had a puppy & 6 moths after that we now have a 2nd puppy! I too have health problems but it is nice having them around for company.
Good luck to your whole family.

 

[timberwolf]

I am so sorry for your loss. Porter was a handsome boy.
I know how empty your house feels.

It does sound like your hubby isn't ready yet. Give him the time he needs to grieve and I'm sure one day he will be ready again.

After we lost Ryder, it took my husband 1 1/2 years before he was ready.
He has said that up until that point, he couldn't imagine another dog in the house where Ryder lived.
To see him now with Timber, and seeing how much he loves him, it's so obvious that the timing was right and he was ready.
Your hubby will be ready again. Just give him some time.

 

[RSHANNING]

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree give your husband some time. It took my husband 3 years or so before he was ready for another dog.

 

[lgnutah]

When a person is ill, every additional commitment may seem overwhelming.
Is his health issue something that will be resolved in a short time? In that case, maybe waiting til he is better and can more fully take part in welcoming a new dog would be a good idea. But, if his health status will stay the same, or deteriorate to the point where he cannot be involved in the care of a dog at all, it seems as if you are the one who would be taking on the dog and should be the one who decides.

 

[Blaireli]

I'm so sorry about Porter's passing. When I lost Heidi in March, I immediately got online and started looking at older female Goldens in rescues. One named Emmy caught my eye. Since she was a good five hours away, I thought it would be nice and safe to watch her on there until she was adopted. Three and a half months went by of checking on her almost daily with no change. One day I decided to email the rescue about Emmy. I didn't realize it that morning, but the day that I emailed the rescue was Heidi's birthday. Call me crazy, but I kind of feel like that was Heidi giving her blessing to the whole situation. I drove to pick Emmy up two days later.

Give him time to grieve. When the situation is right, everything will fall into place.

 

[BJSalz]

When we lost our last dog I swore to never get another because I was afraid to get hurt again. We waited 2 years but I knew that my kids needed the companionship. That is when we got our golden pup. After getting him, I wished I would have gotten another dog alot sooner because having him helped to heal my broken heart! I believe getting another dog will help your husband, even though he doesn't know it now.

 

[coppers-mom]

I never wait very long, but I get rescues/shelter dogs and have gotten my last 3 as their last resort.

I do think fostering would be a great way to go or get an older dog from a rescue since he would already have been checked out and have good manners. that would be a lot less difficult for you and your husband to manage.

If that isn't an option maybe you could volunteer with your local rescue and at least have dogs to interact with. I'm sure they need all kinds of help.

It helps me very much to have another fur friend to ease the pain of the loss so I understand where you are coming from. Porter was beautiful (I like redheads!) and there is a hole in your heart from his passing. I hope your grief eases, but boy we sure do miss them.

 

[NapaValleyGolden]

I am very sorry for your loss, Porter was a handsome boy. I understand how you feel as my husband was the same after we lost Jake in December 2008. I missed having a dog in the house and after a month was ready to start looking. I knew it might take awhile to find a puppy and the looking and planning really helped me feel better. But my husband was not ready and didn't even want to talk about it.

I started looking and planning quietly on my own for a few weeks and then in March I told him I was going to contact the breeder we had gotten Jake from, that I understood how he felt but that I needed to do this and that we might not find a puppy for awhile. He didn't say alot, but after I talked with the breeder (who didn't have any puppies but referred me to someone who did) he started getting excited about having a dog again. We got Cody in May and we both are very happy.

We talked about getting a rescue, but decided on another puppy. If your husband's main concern is the time and effort a puppy takes than an older dog may be the answer.