Chance ... missing my buddy
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
Joined
·
37,489 Posts
Very sorry for your loss. I did not cope well when I lost my Arby a few years ago. I found a new puppy (Oakly) really raised my spirits. Everyone is different though. Hang in there...it will get better.
Joined
·
3,752 Posts
APLB ( http://aplb.org/ ) was a very useful site for me. They have live chat nights and really know how to help assist you through this raw emotional time.
Our bonds with our beloved pets are in many ways stronger, purer, and far more intimate than with others of our own species. We feel loved and secure in sharing our secret souls with them. How often can this be safely done – even with a spouse? So when a dear pet’s life ends, it really is very understandable and normal for us to grieve and suffer a unique sense of bereavement. We have to learn how to cope with the physical breaking of the bond. But the deeply personal spiritual aspects remain unbroken and remain part of us, forever.
Our pets are the glue that hold us together. Without them, we literally feel we will fall apart. They help give us our identity, they define who and what we are. Without them, nothing is the same, and it can be a very lonely, helpless time as we struggle to come to terms with our new life without them.
That old adage about time being the healer can be very misleading. Time only dulls the sharp edge of new pain, and then gives us a better opportunity to heal ourselves of the worst of it. But some of the ache remains with us, forever. Yes, time does help with that transition. But it is not a cure; there is none for this. Happily, our beloved memories continue on with us, as they should. They are an important part of our ongoing lives and personal evolution.
Our bonds with our beloved pets are in many ways stronger, purer, and far more intimate than with others of our own species. We feel loved and secure in sharing our secret souls with them. How often can this be safely done – even with a spouse? So when a dear pet’s life ends, it really is very understandable and normal for us to grieve and suffer a unique sense of bereavement. We have to learn how to cope with the physical breaking of the bond. But the deeply personal spiritual aspects remain unbroken and remain part of us, forever.
Our pets are the glue that hold us together. Without them, we literally feel we will fall apart. They help give us our identity, they define who and what we are. Without them, nothing is the same, and it can be a very lonely, helpless time as we struggle to come to terms with our new life without them.
That old adage about time being the healer can be very misleading. Time only dulls the sharp edge of new pain, and then gives us a better opportunity to heal ourselves of the worst of it. But some of the ache remains with us, forever. Yes, time does help with that transition. But it is not a cure; there is none for this. Happily, our beloved memories continue on with us, as they should. They are an important part of our ongoing lives and personal evolution.
Joined
·
7,076 Posts
We lost our Phoenix in March and although we have since gotten 2 new puppies and still have his buddy Reno (who is 9), I still cry when I look at his pictures or think of him. I think not being able to say good bye to him and to tell him how much we loved him is the hardest part for me. It does get easier but we still miss him terribly. However, our one puppy reminds us so much of Phoenix that he gets called that all the time....poor little guy.
Joined
·
1,776 Posts
Take it one day at a time. That's all you can do.
It does get easier over time but it really never goes away.
It becomes a sweet memory that you can hold in your heart.
I still miss Ryder and it's been over 2 years since we sent him to the bridge.
Even now, I'm crying as I type this.
I just thank God that I had the honor of having him in my life.
Give yourself time to grieve and when the time is right, and you will know it, maybe you'll be ready to bring another golden soul into your life.
Not to replace Chance because he can never be replaced, but one that will make his own place in your heart.
Take care, my thoughts are with you.
It does get easier over time but it really never goes away.
It becomes a sweet memory that you can hold in your heart.
I still miss Ryder and it's been over 2 years since we sent him to the bridge.
Even now, I'm crying as I type this.
I just thank God that I had the honor of having him in my life.
Give yourself time to grieve and when the time is right, and you will know it, maybe you'll be ready to bring another golden soul into your life.
Not to replace Chance because he can never be replaced, but one that will make his own place in your heart.
Take care, my thoughts are with you.
Hi - it's so nice talking to you via e-mail sharing our grief together ( I lost my loving GR, Pumpkin last Tuesday ). I find myself crying often. At nights, I sleep with his favorite stuffed duck. I hold it tight at nights and it does help.
Make an album book with all of Chance's pictures in it.
Time will heal. I tell myself that every day. Hang in there, friend. I share the pain with you.
Make an album book with all of Chance's pictures in it.
Time will heal. I tell myself that every day. Hang in there, friend. I share the pain with you.
Joined
·
42,038 Posts
Chance
I am so sorry about Chance-you know he will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier over time, but you never forget your beloved pet and you shouldn't-you'll just have sweet, beautiful memories instead.
What really helped Ken and I work through our grief, was rescuing another that needed our love.
It was the greatest tribute we could give to our Gizmo and Munchkin who had gone to the bridge.
I am so sorry about Chance-you know he will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier over time, but you never forget your beloved pet and you shouldn't-you'll just have sweet, beautiful memories instead.
What really helped Ken and I work through our grief, was rescuing another that needed our love.
It was the greatest tribute we could give to our Gizmo and Munchkin who had gone to the bridge.
Joined
·
11,326 Posts
When I lost Gus at 6 last December, what helped me as talking about him, sharing stories about his love and individuality, sharing pride in his accomplishments, posting pictures of him here, and remembering in my sorrow that grief was really just the same thing, in a strange way, as joy.
I still feel sadness, and as J&J so eloquently put it, that doesn't really fade over time. But even in that sadness, I feel such gratitude for the life I was able to share with an amazing dog.
I still feel sadness, and as J&J so eloquently put it, that doesn't really fade over time. But even in that sadness, I feel such gratitude for the life I was able to share with an amazing dog.
Joined
·
3,380 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. It is ok to cry. We always got another pup fairly quick but that is what was right for us. I felt my Holly and Abby would want us to share our lives with another pup that needed a home. Only you can decide if and when the time is right. There will come a time when you can tell stories and look at pictures and laugh at the silly thing they did. Take care of yourself.
Joined
·
9,612 Posts
Chance - I'm so sorry you lost your Chance. My last golden was also Chance - my second chance. I still miss all my lost loves and am (of course) crying as I type this. It is very hard when we lose them, but the joy they bring to our lives is worth the pain to me. I tend get another rescue pretty quickly since I feel it gives some meaning to one's death, but that is just my coping strategy. I actually don't cope very well at all!
Pumpkin - I am sorry for your loss too. I'm glad you and Chance are sharing your grief. It makes it easier to have a friend who understands since unfortunately not everyone does. I also hold their second favorite stuffed toy (the favorite goes with them) and cry into it's fur.
Your grief will ease and your beautiful memories will become consoling than painful, but it takes a while. Different lengths of time for everyone. I'll keep you in my thoghts and prayers during this so very difficult time.
Pumpkin - I am sorry for your loss too. I'm glad you and Chance are sharing your grief. It makes it easier to have a friend who understands since unfortunately not everyone does. I also hold their second favorite stuffed toy (the favorite goes with them) and cry into it's fur.
Your grief will ease and your beautiful memories will become consoling than painful, but it takes a while. Different lengths of time for everyone. I'll keep you in my thoghts and prayers during this so very difficult time.
Joined
·
5,125 Posts
Like you,I,just,lost my golden and yes,it's really tough!.Times well make it,easier and talking about yr dog, will helps,a lot!.Pain will fade away with time,at least,I hope so!.
Joined
·
455 Posts
I'm so sorry for your loss! I haven't lost a golden (yet), but I have had to have several other dogs PTS over the years. Each one broke my heart. I can only say that time helped eventually, but overall, all I could do was talk about them, remember the good times and when I was ready, adopt another. You can never replace a lost loved one, of course, but somehow, a new dog (pup or adult), is the only thing that REALLY seems to help me get through it. I seem to NEED a dog to love. I've always felt (hoped) that the one I lost led me to the new dog I needed....or who needed me. It may sound stupid, but I remember telling Max all about my late Sasha when I brought him home - (and I swear, he listened to my stories)!
I hope that you feel better soon. Post some of those good memories here (or not so good), and share them when you're ready....there's always someone here who can relate to your pain and grief. Sending warm thoughts to you & your family.
I hope that you feel better soon. Post some of those good memories here (or not so good), and share them when you're ready....there's always someone here who can relate to your pain and grief. Sending warm thoughts to you & your family.
I am really sorry for your loss. Its no fun when your best friend is not around.
Just remind yourself that Chance does not want you to make yourself sick.
It is matter of time and healing process.
Maybe getting a puppy will fill the gap, but will not replace Chance's personality.
Hang in there.
Susan
Coco
Just remind yourself that Chance does not want you to make yourself sick.
It is matter of time and healing process.
Maybe getting a puppy will fill the gap, but will not replace Chance's personality.
Hang in there.
Susan
Coco
Joined
·
10,181 Posts
Oh Goodness...
How do you cope? Good question. I have no idea....there are so many wonderful people here who have experienced your loss and who can help you through this. I think about this all the time, how would I cope...I just dont know...but we do..we get through it.
I am so sorry for your loss...
How do you cope? Good question. I have no idea....there are so many wonderful people here who have experienced your loss and who can help you through this. I think about this all the time, how would I cope...I just dont know...but we do..we get through it.
I am so sorry for your loss...
Joined
·
12,542 Posts
Hugs to you...I coped by immersing myself in everything 'SAM'. I watched our home movies of Sam, looked through all my pics...over and over...talked incessantly about Sam and put my thoughts into a journal. I refused to remove him from my everyday going's on, being a stay at home Mom made this possible for me...I understand that not everyone has this advantage. I did NOT have the Forum though, and you do, so lean on US! Post pics, tell of us of Chance's antics, and feel free to laugh, cry, or holler if need be. We understand....
Tug of My Heart, linked below, is my 'memorial' of Sam. If you are so inclined, you might visit Scrapblog and make a Memorial for Chance. I promise you that you'll feel better. It's an easy site to navigate.
Tug of My Heart, linked below, is my 'memorial' of Sam. If you are so inclined, you might visit Scrapblog and make a Memorial for Chance. I promise you that you'll feel better. It's an easy site to navigate.
Joined
·
10,181 Posts
This is beautiful...I am so sorry about Sam.
Joined
·
341 Posts
How do you cope ? I don't have the answer to that question. I can tell you that time will increase between crying. The recent bad memories will become thoughts of better times. Stay close to friends who are dog people they understand. Take the time to put together a project for Chance. I consolidated all the digital photos of my Riker and put together a digital frame with his photos and that stays behind my chair.
Reading posts like yours is still tough even though it has been 7 months. It brings back tough memories and we all feel your pain. We got another puppy and his name is Riley. We wanted to honor Riker by naming the new puppy with a similiar name. Of course, we still call the new puppy Riker from time to time. That is ok with him. While Riley is the spitting image of Riker their personalities are different. However, there are times that Riley does something that me and Riker just did and it feels good.
Keep breathing take your time to grieve. If you have a chance please post some more photos of chance for us to enjoy.
God Bless.......
Reading posts like yours is still tough even though it has been 7 months. It brings back tough memories and we all feel your pain. We got another puppy and his name is Riley. We wanted to honor Riker by naming the new puppy with a similiar name. Of course, we still call the new puppy Riker from time to time. That is ok with him. While Riley is the spitting image of Riker their personalities are different. However, there are times that Riley does something that me and Riker just did and it feels good.
Keep breathing take your time to grieve. If you have a chance please post some more photos of chance for us to enjoy.
God Bless.......
Joined
·
217 Posts
I'm almost 60 days into this process. We lost ours on 8/13. It does get easier. I think about her all the time and still get pretty wet eyes and a lump in my throat everytime I do. But it does get easier with time. Everybody deals with it differently. My grieving process will probably be longer than the rest of our family. I initially had the be the "strong" one for my wife and kids, which caused me to hold it in. Remembering Chance is a big part of the grieving. We have 6 pictures of Ruby on our mantle and her collar. I feel lucky and sad at the same time everytime I look at them.
I also like to put my feelings in words. This forum has helped. Some things I post. Others, I write and write and end up deleting. It just helps me to put my thoughts down, even if I delete them. Making my signature is another small thing that I have done to help me through this.
Getting another dog is a great idea but everybody has their own time line. Some struggle with this if too soon. Others can't get a new dog soon enough. Personally, we will have a new puppy in 4-5 weeks. It will be 3 months since Ruby passed. I'm so excited and cannot hardly wait. He will never replace Ruby. I know that and would never expect him too. We are purposely getting a male and a lighter colored golden just to have something a little different. I've always had dogs and obviously lost dogs in my life. All of them have a special place in my heart and all were irreplaceable. I do worry about my wife and kids thinking of our new puppy as a "replacement". He's not a replacement, he's another gift that will touch our hearts.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hear of so many on this forum and it makes me sad all over again, every single time. But I think this forum helps because you will realize how great it is that Chance touched your heart, that he will live there forevery and that you will get through this. Best of luck to you. When your ready and if you feel like sharing, we would love to hear how great of a companion he was.
I also like to put my feelings in words. This forum has helped. Some things I post. Others, I write and write and end up deleting. It just helps me to put my thoughts down, even if I delete them. Making my signature is another small thing that I have done to help me through this.
Getting another dog is a great idea but everybody has their own time line. Some struggle with this if too soon. Others can't get a new dog soon enough. Personally, we will have a new puppy in 4-5 weeks. It will be 3 months since Ruby passed. I'm so excited and cannot hardly wait. He will never replace Ruby. I know that and would never expect him too. We are purposely getting a male and a lighter colored golden just to have something a little different. I've always had dogs and obviously lost dogs in my life. All of them have a special place in my heart and all were irreplaceable. I do worry about my wife and kids thinking of our new puppy as a "replacement". He's not a replacement, he's another gift that will touch our hearts.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hear of so many on this forum and it makes me sad all over again, every single time. But I think this forum helps because you will realize how great it is that Chance touched your heart, that he will live there forevery and that you will get through this. Best of luck to you. When your ready and if you feel like sharing, we would love to hear how great of a companion he was.
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
Join the discussion
Join now to ask and comment!