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Broken-hearted, dispirited

759 Views 4 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Megora
We lost both our Goldens in the first few months of Covid. My younger boy was a tragic, total, complete shock, whilst our older boy was something we knew was coming. Neither one were easy to take, as you all know.
I found a reputable breeder and got on her wait list after about four months.
And waited…and waited. She kept pulling a bait and switch on me, messaging that the girls were bred this date…stay tuned… Then she’d ghost me. There was always an excuse as to why there was never a puppy for us and I finally asked (on the phone) if she didn’t want to sell to us for some reason? If there was, let’s be honest and we’ll move on. Ohhh no! She knew we were responsible owners, she KNEW we always took care of our dogs, it was just circumstance. Ok…so I go along again. Waiting. At one point, she was going to give us a pup that had a funky leg from being twisted in the womb. We talked it over and decided that it would be ok by us, we love them for what they are inside just as much as outside. When I asked more questions about him…she replied, “this isn’t going to work out” and wham…ghosted again.

she came back within a week or so, explaining she was going to give the pup to her vet instead as they’d lost their dog. Ok..well…I have no power in this situation, so I said that would probably be great for the pup if he had any issues with the leg, his dad would be a vet. I cried long and bitterly. She then came forward and said the girls were bred again, pups hopefully such and such date if breeding took.
Ghosted again.
At least four times this happened, and four times I got all excited, bought new things, planned and dreamed. And each time cried like a baby when she stopped answering texts. I finally wised up, deleted her contact and moved on. She’s a very successful breeder, a powerful voice in the golden world and I knew complaining wouldn’t win me any fans. Two and a half, almost three years I slogged through this emotional grinder until I was left ..broken.
I recently started trying to find a breeder again and thought I’d found a very good one. She said yes I could be on the list…and now her web site has gone down….
I’m emotionally exhausted, dispirited, broken hearted. How can it be so darned hard to get a new baby!? I’m in the middle of puppy mill central in PA and sorting through the hundreds of links with sweet golden faces that I know are from unsuitable breeders just makes it ten times as hard.
We’re a mature couple, seasoned golden owners with a fenced three quarter acre yard. There’s seven dogs beds going empty in this house…and two very wounded hearts.
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· Registered
42 Posts
Two and a half years is such a long time to wait!

We did get possibilities for future breedings, and I’d decided we would have to just wait it out and the right pup would come our way.

Through an amazing blessing, we were able to get a beautiful 6 month old pup from a great breeder very local to us. Out of the blue, we had our dog the next day.

If I hadn’t been telling everyone I knew that we were looking, it wouldn’t have happened. So mention it to everybody you know. And get a nice list of several breeders you think are responsible. People here will definitely help you navigate the parents’ testing results and can recommend known breeders.

Best wishes in your search for your new pup, to fill the empty place in your heart.

· Registered
Golden Retriever
219 Posts
Im so sorry about your goldens passing. This is something that happened to my family. 8 years ago we started looking for a pup, we found a lab/aussie he was perfect even though he wasnt pure. Then he got aggressive because of a certain person in our household. So we had to get rid of him. About 2 years later we started looking for another lab this time either a silver lab, yellow lab or chocolate lab we had contacted so many people and they all ghosted us. Except for one person, when we got the puppy and took it to the vet he was blind and deaf so we had to return him. We were still looking and about 5 years ago we found 2 chocolate labs one had hip dysplasia at 8 weeks old and when we told the person that they never re contacted us so we never got the puppy. So we went and got the other lab he was perfect everything we wanted, then the same person started making him aggressive so he went to a friend and we can visit him whenever. Now almost 4 years later we found a dog that stole our heart, a perfect golden she is everything we wanted. And thinking that if we would have gotten a dog between those 4 years we wouldnt have her, and now we dont have to worry about aggression the person doesn't live here anymore. Hopefully a perfect golden retriever pup will come to you soon! Good luck!

· Premium Member
2,754 Posts
I’m so sorry you have gone through such a frustrating process trying to find a puppy. The process is long enough when everything goes right - I can’t imagine the heartbreak of coming so close so many times and still not having a puppy. 😢 If you can find the emotional wherewithal to try again, I think I’d try to not put all your eggs in one breeder’s basket. Be honest with breeders about your story and that you are working with other breeders, but don’t commit or give a deposit without an assurance from the breeder that you’ll definitely be getting a puppy from a litter that’s on the ground. If your breeder won’t work that way, then find a different breeder. As mentioned, spread the word that you’re looking. Sometimes “your” puppy will come out of the blue and from an unexpected source.

I was in my 30s when I was finally in a position to get a dog. My friend was a breeder and she had lovely dogs with a history of health and longevity, so I decided to go with her. When the puppies were born, there were only two - one boy, one girl. I knew I wanted the girl. I named her Penny and visited every week for eight weeks. I bought supplies, arranged for time off work, etc., etc. When the breeder took the puppies to the vet for their health check he detected a heart murmur in the female puppy. He didn’t think it was serious, but the breeder got a second opinion from a cardiologist who felt it WAS serious and that the puppy would probably not live more than a couple of years. I was devastated. In the meantime, I found out that my Mom knew someone from her church who was a breeder. When I was home at Christmas, a few weeks after finding out about Penny, Mom arranged to have me go meet her friend, who happened to have a litter on the ground at the time. All the puppies were already spoken for, but I enjoyed meeting the breeder and told her I might be interested in a future litter. A few weeks later she called and said she had an available female after all. That turned out to be my first dog, Molly, who is to this day, still the most quintessential Golden I’ve ever owned. You just never know…

· Kate
24,952 Posts
Small thought here....

Back in 2007, we had a nearly 14 year old golden and a nearly 12 year old. The older boy died right around this time of the year. Dec 7, I believe. It was basically a couple weeks before Christmas.

He was a family dog (like all of us "kids" loved him), but he was especially my oldest sister's boy.

She had just suffered a miscarriage and losing this dog sent her spiraling into a very dark and terrible place.

I basically had already begun searching for a puppy for myself the week that this dog died... and had made an appointment to meet a breeder the first week of January. And had basically told my sister that I'd buy the pup for her. She basically did not want another golden ever because she didn't want to replace him. So.... I basically went back online and located an adult collie who was available and would have been perfect for my sister.

Long story short - she went to meet him and fell in love. And he was besotted with my mom and my niece who was about 7 or 8 at the time. So that was one dog that my sister took home and he partially lived at our house (days with us, went home with them in the evening, etc).

And then I met the breeder the following month - and brought my pup home in February.

That basically is how simple it can and should be to bring a pup home. Waiting 2 years.... when you have an empty home.... no. That's not great. :(

I would suggest you reach out to the breed referrals and kinda widen the search. There are puppies out there. And breeders are always preparing for the next litter 3-6 months down the road.
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