[maggiesmommy]

Is anyone else just sick of people this holiday season? My husband's family has a Christmas lottery every year where one aunt assigns everyone a family member to buy a $50 present for. This year, I was assigned my husband's hippie second cousin. I sent her a message more than a few weeks ago asking what she wants, and explaining that I am going out of town in a few weeks. No response. She has posted her stupid "occupy wallstreet" propoganda on Facebook, but no answer to me. My husband told me to Chase down this lady's equally as flaky daughter and ask what she thinks I should get her mom. I told him that I refuse to beg someone to let me drop $50 on a present for them, so my husband called her...she needs more time...I leave in a week. I have no more time. How hard is it to say "give me a gift card."? I hate people sometimes.

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

I kind of feel like if people make it that hard for me to give them a gift then they don't really want one. Penny's Dad used to always say "Oh, nothing for me. I get all my pleasure from watching everyone open their gifts." Finally, I had enough! So, one year I gave up; he didn't get anything. He's given me ideas and a wish list ever since.

I say make a donation in her name to a rescue group or canine cancer research. As a altruistic young person , she would appreciate that more.

 

[Megora]

I say make a donation in her name to a rescue group or canine cancer research. As a altruistic young person , she would appreciate that more.

*laughs* I had the same immediate thought. But I would have phrased it in a slightly more politically inappropriate way.

 

[Karen519]

Maggiesmommy

Maggiesmommy

I feel the same way, I guess she doesn't really want a gift. I would just get her a gift card and be done with it!!

 

[cubbysan]

To me it is always very awkward when somebody asks me what I want, almost embarressing. I too tend to avoid the question, because I am afraid when I do tell somebody what I want, I will be inconveniencing them in some way. I am the same way about inviting people to my home for dinner, or parties, etc. I am always afraid that somehow I will be inconveniencing them. Just my hang up.

A gift card might be the right thing in this situation...

 

[Ryley's Dad]

Husband's second cousin? Nahh... would never happen in my family.
If they're not immediate family, or they don't live in town and you don't see them quite often... they don't get a gift.
Maybe a Christmas card... thats it.

And who is this aunt and why does get to make the Christmas giving rules?

 

[sadiegold]

I would get a gift, yep something I would like, and just make sure there is a gift receipt, make your life easier!

 

[Pumba19]

haha i love the donation idea! that's awesome! and i agree with Ryley's Dad, our immediate family is too big to buy for let alone second cousins. usually only immediate family gets cards from us, or distant family who are close. but that's us

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

I'm trying to stay out of trouble.

*laughs* I had the same immediate thought. But I would have phrased it in a slightly more politically inappropriate way.

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

The problem with gift cards is that if she's that ditzy, she might misplace it or forget about it and then the money did nobody any good. By her a book by Glen Beck. (sorry, couldn't resist)

 

[MyMaggieGirl]

OK, count me in. How about a boss who has more money and possessions than most people, he doesn't use gift cards. How many bottles of wine can I give the man, or snack baskets or golf trinkets.

Every year I swear I'll make a donation in his honor but then change my mind at the last minute.

Cubbysan, I am the same way as you, afraid to impose on people and have them bring something to my home for a party, dinner, etc. Goofy, no?

 

[Sweet Girl]

I'm on the donation bandwagon, too. Either that, or buy a goat for a family or some other such idea from one of the international charity websites. They have lots of great ideas at different price points.

 

[Elisabeth Kazup]

I saw the goat thing. Pretty amazing what one goat can do for a family. You can even buy part of a goat, they will take any size donation and add them together to get a whole goat.

 

[Dallas Gold]

I dunno--maybe you could "regift" her?:uhoh:

 

[Tuckers Mom]

I'm in the camp of hating to be asked what I WANT for Christmas..... if you have to ask me, then Why bother? you obviously don't spend enough time around me to know or CARE about the things that I like, so it's a lazy cop out way of getting the Christmas " Deed" overwith. My DH's family is all like that... we gather on Christmas eve to eat, and hand out the gift cards and his spoiled ass rotten ungrateful nieces with the eye rolling are never pleased with what we give them. We are giving AMEX giftcards and are going on our Merry way to go home, be with our Wonderful Dog, and exchange presents on Christmas morning that were thought about, shopped for, and wrapped with love and christmas bows. Coffee, Champagne, Cinnamon rolls and all the lovely christmas music I can stand... LOL. Family just plain sucks sometimes at Christmas...

 

[lgnutah]

To me it is always very awkward when somebody asks me what I want, almost embarressing.

I feel the same way.
Look, if you don't know this person's likes or dislikes, bottom line you could give her a check and she could figure out how to spend it.

 

[lgnutah]

I saw the goat thing. Pretty amazing what one goat can do for a family. You can even buy part of a goat, they will take any size donation and add them together to get a whole goat.

I got information about the heifer project in the mail today and was really impressed.

 

[laprincessa]

I'd much rather be asked what I want than expect that people will know. Only my husband lives with me, so he's the only family member who would know that I can only use certain shower gels without breaking out, or that I Just bought that book, or CD, or ball of yarn (I'm a yarn buying fool). So if people don't ask, and assume they know me well enough to know that I'd just LOVE that latest Stephen King novel, they may just be creating a trip to the store for me to return it.

They would never know that, of course, because I was taught to say thank you and accept a gift graciously, even if I already had received 7 of the same thing.

 

[lgnutah]

[QUOTEI am the same way as you, afraid to impose on people and have them bring something to my home for a party, dinner, etc. Goofy, no?[/QUOTE]

When people bring things to my house when they come, I am often so busy I don;t see the thing, or don't know who brought what, or maybe I saw it and forget to thank them for it as they leave (and seem like a heel), so I always try to remember to tell people when I invite them, please don't bring anything, it is our chance to do something for you. Or if they ask if they can bring something, I just say Bring yourselves.

 

[Bella's Mama]

I too hate being asked what I want so to avoid that, I usually compile a list of things (all different prices) of what I would like. I send links and pictures to make it easy.

However, I always, always respond when someone asks me about Christmas. It is very rude to ignore when someone is willing to be generous. Even if I don't know what I want, my standard response is a manicure or pedicure since they are $11 and $25 respectively. Don't have to get both if you are on a budget. And it's an easy and I believe a non-invasive answer.

I second donating to a cause for this girl. It may teach her a lesson not receiving a physical gift because she is not being responsible in this instant.


For example, my 17 year old sister was being very naughty (alcohol and nastiness included) so I warned my parents what she posted publicly on a social networking site. She found out I said something, lied to me, then said she's done with me and to never talk to her again, amongst many other hateful things. (Mind you I have hid so many secrets and called my parents in her defense many, many times over the years.)

For her Christmas present, I looked and looked and found her some gorgeous earrings on Etsy that I thought she would love. I texted her a couple general questions to narrow the field, and she would not respond. She would not respond to texts or calls, so I decided she's not getting a present from me this year at all. If she cannot talk to me about Christmas or even talk to me at all, then she does not deserve a gift. I will keep them for myself.