I battle these feelings a lot with Lana. I had/have high goals and we've accomplished nothing in almost three years. I remember asking my breeder if I disappointed her or if she was disappointed that I haven't acheived my goals already. And she has reassured me that she understands and that goals can change and that she has never been disappointed and I should stop thinking like that. FWIW it doesn't stop the thinking but that's a me problem and not a her problem. Intrusive thoughts are intrusive. So I want to reassure you that you ARE worthy of your dog and I'm sure your breeder is proud of you and your relationship with your girl and what you've managed to do. Because you're right, you are doing your best and our best is all we can be asked for. Ya know? Sometimes our best doesn't look like the best of someone else and that's ok. If it's our best than that is all we can be asked for. hugsI fear we must be a terrible disappointment to our breeder, though she has been very kind all along. If she is disappointed, she doesn’t say so. My girl’s littermates across the country are already making great strides in dock diving and field work. But we live in a city. Just to get her to swim we had to drive to a swimming pool club for dogs in another city. I am going to stick with agility (chemo allowing), but I am not worthy of my dog. It seems the high aptitude is all on her part and none on mine. Please, breeders, be forgiving of people like me. I don’t know how far we will ever get, but I am doing my best.
I am loud and I have anxiety and 100% it feeds down the leash to all my dogs and makes them more wild then they would normally be. I acknowledge that but I don't really know how to fight it. When I've worked on fighting it, I've just been reprimanded by our trainers. I literally have to stand, stock still, barely breathing, no eye contact, and enter a semi-meditative state for the anxiety to not travel down the leash. If you know of any resources that'll help me alter my training I would love the recommendations. Because I can't train if I can't move and so far no one has been able to explain a better method for how I can circumvent or even just vent the energy either from myself or my dogs. When we are having an on day, Lana flies like a charm at the end of the leash but those off days crush my heart (cause I know it's me).W/R to field/performance bred goldens - I've only seen one that I'd categorize as out of control. And I think part of the issue was a miscommunication issue between him and his owner (who was older and has since past away). That owner was pretty loud and rough handling with the dog - and I think to a certain extent you had high energy + anxiety with that dog. He worked extra hard trying to be right - which meant he could be pretty frenzied when worked up.