[Daisybones]

I have an issue. I have a sister-in-law who I love dearly. She has a Siberian Husky. I of course have a Hudson. Hudson ate my cell phone the other day and I emailed family and friends to tell them they couldn't get a hold of me for a few days. At the end of the email I mentioned that I couldn't really blame Hudson because I was the one who left it where he could reach it. My SIL's husband wanted to kill me for mentioning that. They keep saying to me that "he's just a dog". They think that I should have hit Hudson and locked him up in his crate blah blah blah. I don't hit Hudson. I never have and I just couldn't. I tried to explain to them that GR's like to carry things, chew things etc. They just stared at me and changed the subject. When they come over they treat Hudson like he is stupid and that I am stupid for not getting a choke/pinch collar for him. Hudson does the typical GR greet with people. The whining and excitement, bringing a toy over (apparently he needs a choke collar for that). When Hudson comes over to them to say hello they push him away and act like he is an idiot. I fed Hudson out of a bowl from the cabinet the other day (his were in the dishwasher) and my SIL looked disgusted and asked if I was going to ever eat out of that bowl again. WHAT?? Yes, I am. DUH.

We got a new computer the other day and had to take Hudsons crate out of our room temporarily. My SIL was over and asked if she could have his crate because her dog was getting "too comfortable" in his and wanted to retrain him. Shouldn't they be comfortable in their crates? I thought crates were good things for them. I do not agree with how their dog is treated and she has the nerve to comment on how I am with mine.

Here is my question. Am I doing things wrong? Am I treating Hudson like I should? He isn't "just a dog" to me. He isn't. I'm very frustrated and I don't want to lock him in our room when they come over but I may have to.

Thank you for reading this. Sorry so long.

 

[Iggy987]

I am sorry if this sounds blunt- but they are idiots.
I would not let anyone come into my home if they could not treat my dogs with respect.

I think that you are doing things just fine.

 

[lgnutah]

You can just be a broken record and repeat what you believe to be appropriate for your dog and ignore anything they say. Really. Just repeat what you said and don't acknowledge any of their misinformation.
Or, stop talking altogether and just look at them when they say absurd things about how you should hurt your dog. Say nothing, just look at them.
They will see they can't upset you, or convince you in this area.

 

[Jo Ellen]

No, you're not doing things wrong. At some point we have to accept that not everyone is going to be as crazy about our goldens as we are ... that's why we come here, right?

My dog used to chase ducks. My sister told me I should beat her with a dead duck to break her of that. I still laugh (out loud!) when I think about that.

Just stand your ground and be true to yourself. All of us here are glad you are the way you are with Hudson, and I'm sure Hudson doesn't realize how lucky he is, but that's alright, he's happy too!

 

[LibertyME]

Hudson is a dog....that is true....but he is not 'just' a dog.
He is your much-loved dog.

It amazes me how rude some family can be when they are guests in your home.

Rather then lock him in a room....perhaps meet them elsewhere???
I wonder if their manners are better 'in public'?

Imagine how this is going to be when you have children....

 

[mdoats]

I doubt if you will find anyone on this forum that thinks you should hit your dog to train it. I think most Golden Retriever owners choose the breed because they want a friendly, goofy, happy go lucky dog. It sounds like that's what you've got in Hudson. Sounds pretty ideal to me (minus the cell phone eating of course!). I enjoy how much my dog loves to greet guests. And most of my guests enjoy being greeted with such excitement and affection.

In your shoes, I'd tell my in-laws that since you disagree on how pets should be treated you would prefer not to talk to them about your respective pets. And if they came to my house, I'd probably take the dog for a long walk before they came and crate him in the bedroom and let him sleep through their visit.

I would be consistent and every single time the subject of dogs came up, I would use the exact same sentence "Since we disagree on how to treat our dogs, let's not talk about that."

Sorry you're having to deal with this! And of COURSE Hudson is more than "just a dog!"

 

[LibertyME]

I would be consistent and every single time the subject of dogs came up, I would use the exact same sentence "Since we disagree on how to treat our dogs, let's not talk about that."
Good phrase....take a deep breath and be prepared for an extinction burst! <wink>
They are likely to try and try and TRY again to get you to 'bite' at their attempts to persuade and engage you....stay strong and persevere!

 

[Blondie]

When I ready Siberian Husky, I knew they were idiots! I was a dumb Siberian Husky owner once in my younger days. They are not anything to write home about. It was a bad experience all the way around. I thought it may have had something to do with it had one blue eye and one brown eye. But then again, I was the idiot for wanting it in the first place. I graduated from the school of hard knocks and am much the wiser for it!

 

[Laurie]

Our dogs are our babies and most people think they're spoiled rotten because they're just dogs....well like most people on here, they're not just dogs to us. We have inconvenienced ourselves many many times to accommodate our dogs and have spent much money doing so....

Most of our friends are very understanding and appreciate the way we feel about the dogs...but those who don't, well, they don't have to bother coming to our house!!!

And no, we have never laid a hand on our dogs during training......and if I leave something lying around and one of the puppies get it.....it's my fault...not theirs.

 

[tippykayak]

Obviously, you're not doing anything wrong with your dog.

I would suggest, though, that you not leave Hudson alone with them either. They're liable to treat him their way if you're not around to stop them.

 

[Willow52]

I had a neighbor stop by one afternoon. Hank and his brother, they were probably around 8 weeks at the time, were wrestling doing normal puppy fight/play. My neighbor proceeded to alpha roll Hank because he was being "too aggressive"?? ***? Too aggressive with his littermate at 8 weeks?? I don't know where people get such ideas.

 

[Mssjnnfer]

I know somewhat where you're coming from, and let me just say I'm sorry you have to deal with it, because it sucks.

No, you're not doing ANYTHING wrong. Omg. If there were more people like YOU and less people like THEM, our shelters wouldn't be filled to the brim with unwanted/abused/neglected dogs.

As much as I want to be angry with them (well... I am.) I also feel slightly sorry for them. They will NEVER feel the love we feel from our dogs. Treated them "as dogs" ... as "property" I'm sure. They will never know what it's like to be loved so completely and unconditionally. And it's obvious, as you said they PUSH HIM AWAY when he greets them! That just baffles my mind!! I'm pretty sure if someone pushed Mojo and Maxie away like that I would cry.

We aren't crazy for loving our dogs. I think some people need to be reminded that we're animals too.

Hugs to you and Hudson.

 

[wagginroad]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. A person's philosophy regarding dogs is very similar to a person's philosophy toward political matters. Each person sees things differently, based on who they are and what they expect. When someone enters my home, it is with the understanding that it also Wonka's home, and they are the visitor.

A technique you might try is when they push their views about dogs, just gently change the subject to some topic in politics on which they disagree (preferably with each other). With any luck, they might be happy to change the subject.

 

[Abbydabbydo]

I would be consistent and every single time the subject of dogs came up, I would use the exact same sentence "Since we disagree on how to treat our dogs, let's not talk about that."
Good phrase....take a deep breath and be prepared for an extinction burst! <wink>
They are likely to try and try and TRY again to get you to 'bite' at their attempts to persuade and engage you....stay strong and persevere!

This works well for politics and religion, also. I used it alot on Thursday

 

[hotel4dogs]

well OF COURSE they think of their dog as just a dog, silly! It's not a GOLDEN

 

[Daisybones]

Oh you guys made me feel so much better. Thank you. I will definitely encourage a subject change when Hudson is brought up. I really am sick of people making me feel weird because of how much I love my dog. I think I knew that I wasn't doing anything wrong but needed some confirmation. I got it. Thank you all who replied. I really, really appreciate it. I have peeked in on other dog forums and they are nothing like this one at all. You can actually feel how much people love their Goldens on this forum.

 

[Debles]

LibertyME is much more polite than I would ever be! If anyone made those comments to me about my dogs I would tell them to mind their own business and if they hit their dog, I'll report them to Animal Control.

If they continue to talk rudely to me and treat my dog poorly, I'd tell them they are no longer welcome in my home.

I'd take my dogs over alot of rude jerks anyday!

 

[Noey]

I would never go into a relative house and tell them how to run it, unless they were hurting a child or animal.

So nope. Just tell them that is why Hudson is your dog, you have your rules and they can do what they want...but Hudson is loved, trained, and taught to behave by you...not by your family.

 

[MelandEl]

i think that phrase about not agreeing so let's not talk about it is perfect! as some of you have said, a good phrase to use in many situations in life!!

my parents' friend has told me that when sophie nips to take my fist into her mouth and push down on her jaw to get her to stop. this is a woman who "rescues" great danes. sort of makes me wonder what goes on w/ her and her dogs!

 

[Dreammom]

You treat your dog your way, he is your dog... and I feel very sorry for their Siberian Husky. You all think Goldens are sensitive... humph..you have not seen a Sibe - they are the most sensitive dog I have ever seen. Their feelings get hurt so easily....and when they do, they don't forget about it and forgive like a Golden does. Yes a Sibe is more stubborn and difficult to train - they just want to know what is in it for them before they do anything, they are not as eager to please.

Wolfie was so sensitive, if I raised my voice to my kids, she would jump on the couch and shake. Now I have two 21 year olds and a 17 year old young man living here...they get into it at times, and Hurley just wants outside away from the commotion - he can't stand it. My sibes have been the biggest babies I have ever had LOL. Oh yeah, apparently I am an idiot for having sibes...but to the poster who said that...maybe you just weren't the right person for such a wonderful, happy, and hard working breed. Having sibes and retrievers together for the last almost 20 years has been a wonderful experience, they compliment each other well.

Stand your ground with them...you don't need to train a dog any one elses way, but yours...you know him better than they do.