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Missing Whiskey
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I am sorry that the story is pretty long …

After my beloved Whiskey went to the Bridge, we got Amber in June. She was 5 months old, a bundle of energy full of life. She brought sunshine to my life and was working her way to my heart.

In early Oct, we went on a roadie and fly vacation with 3 other couples. My hubby flies a Powered Parachute, a kind of low and slow airplane that’s best for remote sight seeing. In fall, we would go to remote canyon country of West Colorado and South UT, the flying is spectacular. We all drive a RV with the airplane towed behind and we would camp out at the municipal/county airports. On our 2nd stop, at the Hanksville’s airport in UT, we let our dogs out. It is absolutely middle of nowhere, and no one else was there. But when another couple was backing their RV, somehow Amber got behind the wheel of the trailer. I saw it and screamed. Like a nightmare, she was run over in front of my eyes. When she came out, her face was covered with blood. We immediately drove her 3 hours to the closest vet emergency in Grand Junction, CO. That was the longest journey in my life even though my hubby was driving the RV 80 miles per hour! I sat with her the whole time, holding her, wiping the dripping blood from her nose, mouth, and telling her that I love her, The emergency vet gave her excellent care, stabilized her and dressed her wounds. We took her back the next morning, and drove back home in Denver. Remarkably, her main injury was the broken upper jaw, nothing else. Luckily there is a canine dentist close by that does jaw repairs. Amber was put on a wire-and-acrylic splint in her mouth, she wore it for the next 4 weeks. The splint was moved 2 days ago, her jaw healed well. But they found her K-9 tooth on the upper right was also injured by the accident and performed the root canal.

Amber’s scars have almost all healed; she has long been back to her rambunctious self. Everyone seeing her is amazed at what a tough dog she is! My vet said there was a guarding angel, I like to think that was my Whiskey! I am so grateful that Amber was given the 2nd chance, she is enjoying life everyday!

What bothers me somewhat is the couple who ran her over. It was not their fault, I made a point telling them that. However, they never called us or inquired how Amber was doing. They went on vacation with the remaining parties as if nothing had happened. The other parties would call us everyday asking about Amber, not even once they’d say anything via them. I am thinking if the situation had been reversed, I’d be worried to sick. I would have been probably felt so bad that I would have stopped my vacation. I would also offer to pay for some expenses.

He is my hubby’s flying buddy, and may appear in future gathering as well. Now I am feeling like that I don’t want to see their face again. Am I wrong in feeling this way?

The photos below are:
1. Amber before the accident
2. Right after the accident
3. Healing
4. Powered parachute
 

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Kye & Coops Mom
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Read your story and my heart almost stopped then filled with joy when she began to recover. Been thinking how I would have reacted if we were the ones who hit a dog, especially a friends dog.

Because I am one who jumps first & love dogs so much, I would have probably moved in with you in your RV to help nurse her to the hospital/Vet and let hubby follow. But different people handle emergencies differently. We all see evidence of this as we commute to work each day and there is an accident. It is easier to call 911 than to stop and render aide. We are scared and feel helpless to what we might find in a accident. Easier to remain on the sidelines, to stay a shadow in the sunshine.

You will never know to what level these people were hurt that this happened. Yes, it sounds like they could have done much more, even called to check on Amber would have helped your heart, but they didn't. Perhaps they were truly sick this happened, but their "wiring" just doesn't let them know what to do that would have made you and your Husband feel they cared.

Way I see it is that these are people you will need to continuely see. To be the "Better" person, try to take Ambers survival as a blessing to pull you even closer to her than you have ever been. Because of this you now have ties to her soul you might never have had. Hold these close to your heart, say your blessings in the life of your little girl and try to put the bad feelings away. You can center on the good and push the bad away.

I think they could have done many things to make you feel their concern, but they didn't, you cannot change this, nor will you ever know how much this privately may have impacted them. You and your husband saved your girl, try to make this the biggest joy. There needs to be no room in our hearts for hurt and what-if's, make your cup 1/2 full and plow ahead.

Thank the Lord Amber is recovering.
 

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where the tails wag
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Wow, what a horrible thing to happen! I am so very happy Amber is on the mend and seems to have no lasting issues.

That being said, no I could not forget the couple's callous disregard. Sorry, but they backed over your dog and took no responsibility, not even the common courtesy of asking how she was. They had to have been aware there was at least 1 (you mentioned dogs) dog out. You screamed. Was it an accident? Yes, but they hurt a beautiful and loving being - the parachuting can be dangerous, right? Would they just run away from an accident with your husband? Do you really need people like this is your inner circle?

Edit to add: I should mention that I do not think you should hold on to either anger or resentment, but rather just release them from your life.
 
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POOR amber, i hope the scars are going to fade, she is so pretty, they were perhaps just not thinking, the vacation excitetment one has, i would had thought they would had gave you a phone number,or address, but i am sure you were just wanting to get that baby to a vet, i know that was number one . I see that you know them, i missed that, well, i would have a problem,with that then, not a nice thing to do.
 

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If you have had a good relationship with them in the past, and it seems they will often be included in future get togethers, it will only hurt you to harbor resentment toward them (because if they are completely oblivious, they are feeling nothing.....and you will continue to feel hurt and pain).
On the other hand, the next time you see them (which I guess will be the first time they will have seen you since the accident) it is likely they will ask about her. When they do, it is also reasonable for you to chide them by saying,"she is doing really well, etc, but you know, I was hurt that you never called to check on her". Or, if they don't ask about her vet care and healing post accident, you can say, "When I never heard from you after her accident I was really hurt as I expected you would call to check on her"
 

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That was a horrifying accident. I'm so glad she's okay. And THAT's the biggest part of the story.

I find grudges to be extremely heavy and over time my arms get tired of holding them. It's in your own best interest to put this down and move on without it.

You can only control you. Learning to forgive, let go and live without anger makes your life beautiful, even thru it's ups and downs.
 

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Dr. Rainheart
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I first want to say that I am SO glad that Amber is alright! What a scary incident to happen.
 
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how horrible! I'm glad she is ok. She looks great.

HAve you asked them how they are? I would be traumatized -- its possible its just bad communication and they don't know what to say. Have you tried opening up a conversations with

You know we have ben so upset with Ambers accident--we were wondering if you guys are ok as well, we know it was an accident...but blah blah blah.

Maybe they feel guilty or bad. Maybe they don't. But if they are good friends its worth opening a line of communication. Maybe a note and picture from Amber letting them know how she is.
 

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I'm so glad to learn that Amber is doing well. I can just imagine how stressful this was for you, your husband and Amber.

It is unfortunate that they never inquired about her or offered to help with the vet bills. Are these people animal people? Some people aren't and just don't get it. My neighbour's 17 year old cat died yesterday and when I went over to give my condolences her adult daughter who is older than me just laughed at me and said "it was only a cat".

Perhaps in the future you will be able to clear the air with this couple. In the meantime continue to love your girl and please give her many hugs from me.
 
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Pippa and Watson’s mom
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OMG, what a horrible accident! I'm so glad that Amber has healed well and is back to her rambunctious self.

As for the other couple, I agree with everything that's been said here, but I wanted to throw out another possibility: Maybe they're afraid that if they admit to anything, it could be used against them in a lawsuit? I remember being told as a teenager never to say "I'm sorry" if you get in an accident because it's an admission of liability. Maybe they're afraid you might decide to go after them for damages? A little reassurance in that direction might reveal that they really feel awful about the whole thing after all.
 
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and Luvtazz too
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I would just focus on Amber. And I agree, Whiskey was watching out for her. Your love for your dogs is all that matters. It is a shame your friends have not asked about her. That is the difference between dogs and humans. If only people had the heart of dogs.
 

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Missing Selka So Much
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I am so glad Amber has recovered and is OK. I also understand that you are hurt that these people didn't inquire about Amber.

But was it really their fault? Amber was your responsibility, not theirs. I would feel so guilty if my dog was injured because I wasn't watching close enough.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh or too blunt but I really think it was an accident on the other couple's part. Yes I would have felt horrible if I hit someone else's dog!and I would have inquired.
 

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I am so happy your little trooper is healing so well. Thank goodness!

I think Debles raises an interesting point. It's one I hadn't considered. When I read your original post about the accident, I was thinking, "Oh, my LORD. I would have cancelled the rest of my trip, gone with you to the vet, paid the vet bills!" Having read what Debles raised... I thought about what I would do if it WASN'T my fault. Well, I'd have cancelled the rest of my trip, gone with you to the vet, paid the bills. And I most definitely would have made sure to keep in touch and know that Amber was recovering.

But - we are all intensely dog-loving people here. Me included. I could not conceive of hitting someone's dog and not being unbearably distraught.

My advice is to talk to your friends. Tell then you felt hurt that they didn't inquire about Amber. Tell them you don't hold them responsible, but just felt hurt. It may well be that it never occurred to them. If they truly are good friends, they will apologize. Accept the apology, and move forward with your friendship. But I wouldn't just dump them without the chance for communication.
 

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I think they should had called you, to check on her,in all this time, i don't feel they owe anything, on bills, but hey a phone call would be the thing to do.
 

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Kate
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Honestly... I would not want anything to do with these people. Maybe it would be a hard feelings thing. Maybe it would simply be a fact that every time I see their truck or their faces, it would just remind me of what happened. It's bad enough that you will always remember seeing your dog with her head covered in blood and have nightmares over that.

And the thoughtlessness on their part seems to indicate that they are not that into you or maintaining a friendship with you.

I would not make statements or confront them at all. If they find they are being avoided or no longer important in your life, they should figure it out.

If they were family, I would probably find a way to get along with them. But as it is, I see no reason why you have to spend any time with them.

ETA - I glanced back at your first post and see the guy is your husband's flying buddy? If your husband still wants to be buddies, that's fine. You choose your own friends. You can be civil to them without having much to do with them.
 

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During the vacation they probably got updates from the friends who did call you. Maybe they did not know what to say?

I think you are the only one who 'knows' these people and can make a determination if they feel 'bad' enough or not. If they are not dog people they may not know how to react or even think about how they can help. I wouldn't be surprised if some feel you should have kept the dog at home and not taken him on such a trip...especially if they don't have dogs. But I'm just guessing as I know no one involved. Just something to think about.

For the future I would leave the dog at home. If you are not comfortable then let your hubby go and you stay home. There is nothing worst then being stuck in the middle of nowhere being mad at someone. Camping and the outdoors seem to bring out the worst in people if they are holding grudges. Aren't these people who you are also depending on to keep you and your husband safe too? What would happen if you had an emergency in one of the paraglides or whatever that is you are flying? Would you trust them with your life.

Just things to think about.... K
 
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P.S. another thought they may be afraid you want to ask them for money or try and sue them.

Years ago I fell off a horse when the barnowner let his mare and foal free and it came toward us at a dead run (a huge black Freisian). I was on a quarterhorse who spun and thru me off the side of the hill. I broke my arm right at the rotary cuff. The people who I 'thought' were my friends didn't even want to take me to the hospital or call an ambulance, I had to call a friend to pick me up. Then they lied about how it happened and when I called them on it they lied about lying! They ignored me and never found out how I was healing. I moved my horse as soon as I could someone to help me move him. The only thing I could figure out was they were afraid I would sue. It was horrible espeically because I thought we were friends and I even lied on the insurance so they would not have any liability...

People can be so disappointing. That is why animals will never fail you ...they are always honest.
 
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I just read your story and had a feeling something foreboding was going to happen. I am so glad that everything has turned out well!

I think I'm going to differ on 95% of what has been said here as far as the "other couple". We, on this board, are very passionate about our dogs (and/or animals)...I mean we are all here on this board after all! But we (humans) are different in many ways, due to our genetics, upbringings, experiences... I do not know how well you know the other couple, but I would be hasten to judge so quickly. Having been raised in farm country I know many who feel that dogs, and all dogs, are simply "stock" animals. These folks would *never* even consider bringing a dog into their home. This is difficult for me, but I'm alright with that. This couple may very well be of that mindset. Perhaps they are completely ignorant of the feelings surrounding the happenings to your lovely Amber.

Now with that said even if they do not share the same types of beliefs that we share with respect to our pets, the fact that they did not see the traumatic stress you felt at the accident is ... well alarming. When your Amber was run over you did not react with an, "aww shucks...guess I'm going back to the pound for 'nother one." You screamed! A basic amount of human empathy would...should understand your distress. Perhaps they missed that social cue (Aspergers?), or are just completely oblivious.

While it will be difficult to see them another time, perhaps you can feel out the interaction. If it does not go so well next time then I'd consider having "something else planned" the following time :)

SOOO glad this turned out well. Whiskey's influence is still felt. Isn't it?
 

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Missing Whiskey
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Discussion Starter #19
Thank you everyone, I appreciate very much all your thoughts and advice. That couple and us are not really friends, we live in different states only see each other during some flying gatherings.

I have always realized it was our fault for not leashing Amber, we told them right there. When we took Amber from the emergency vet and found out that she was going to be OK, the first thing I thought was to tell them about it, thinking they must have felt awful all night. So I told our friend who was calling us everyday to tell the couple that Amber will be fine, it was not their fault, please don’t feel bad …

Many of you mentioned that we all deal with crisis and feelings differently. Logan_C was spot on, they are farmers, maybe dogs are just stock animals to them. Still I think that part of humanness is to be concerned of how others feel. My husband and I were obviously distraught; I screamed and cried out Amber’s name over and over again, I feared that she was dying. We then left our vacation that we had planned for months. Well maybe they indeed felt bad but couldn’t express. I will just chalk it up like that. Like Luvbuzz said, we human should learn to have a heart of a dog. Amber certainly doesn’t hold any grudge against them :)

As far as bills, I would have never accepted it had they offered. The total so far is $4,500. The emergency vet was $1,000, the splint, removal of the splint, and root canal amounted 3,500. The only silver lining out of this whole ordeal is that I purchased the pet insurance for Amber, our cost is less than 1,000.

Next time the dogs will be on leash or inside as long as there are moving vehicles around.

I actually feel bonded with Amber much stronger through this accident. I am so thankful that she is still with us and hopefully will be for a long time to come. She has been thoroughly pampered during her recovery, she is so worth it.
 

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I am so happy that Amber has made a full recovery I too believe that Whiskey was loking out for her.

Yes I would feel resentment towards these people that is a natural reaction to someone that cres so little but for you to heal you need to let this go just know that they will never be there for you in your time of need so I wouldnt count on them for anything. That way they cant hurt you again.
 
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