Do you ever just get frustrated?? (Vent) - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 01:54 PM Thread Starter
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Do you ever just get frustrated?? (Vent)

Hey everyone! Just though I would vent here a little I feel like this forum are the only people that will really understand. So Leo is my first dog with my husband and man have I LOVED this whole experience. I have absolutely loved training him, learning how to take care of him, learning his behavior, learning how just absolutely amazing this breed is!! Leo is my fur baby and even before I got him I made sure that I got him from a conscientious breeder. He was about average price for a golden- $2k up in Maine and I take him to a GREAT vet that I drive an hour to see and I am always on top of his health and safety. However, everyone seems to have an opinion about him!

First--how ANNOYING is it when people tell you that your Golden doesnt look like a golden because of how short he is or because he is too "fluffy" I am sick of it!! At this point i just google the breed standard and show people that he is perfectly normal. Tired of hearing people say he is too small and underweight at 68 lbs.

Second--I am sick of everyone just making fun of the money I spend on his health, food, and care. I have taken Leo multiple times to the vet his first year for various issues like ear infections, loose stools, hot spots, excessive weight gain and people think its over dramatic but they are serious things that need to be taken care of! My in laws had a golden and never took him to the vet for his ears because they said ears were just dirty all the time. It is perfectly normal to spend money on vet bills especially the first year!

Third--I want to get Leo into showing and field training and people feel bad for him because they say that he will stop being a dog and wont have any fun. WHAT! I am trying to bond with my dog and give him a purpose. These dogs are meant to be working dogs and help and it brings them joy! What better way to give this to him??

Anyways do any of you ever deal with this kind of ignorance around you?? I have become so knowledgeable (especially on this forum) about this great breed and I want to do everything in my power to give my dog a great life and enjoy him as much as I can and I think every dog owner shoudl have the same goal! Just wanted to vent about how tired I am of so much ignorance around us

Leo 08/02/18

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:07 PM
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PREACH!!

Everyone has an opinion these days. I try to keep my mouth shut most times because the truth is, most people just don't have a clue as to how a golden retriever should look, act, be taken care of etc.. Take what they say with a grain of salt. At the end of the day all that matters is that your pup is healthy, happy and well taken care of.

I usually just smile and nod..some times I can't help myself though, especially when people say "Oh my goodness is he an English Cream?!" Or "Wow he is SO small is he mixed with something?" I educate them with a simple statement or bring up the breed standard, and then go on my way.

You are doing a great job with Leo....keep it up!
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmdenn View Post
some times I can't help myself though, especially when people say "Oh my goodness is he an English Cream?!"
This one is my pet peeve! I ended up with a super white colored golden just by chance, and people tell me all the time how much they love "English creams"... I just smile and say, well he is just a regular golden retriever who happens to be on the lighter side of the color spectrum! Sigh.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Emmdenn View Post
PREACH!!

Everyone has an opinion these days. I try to keep my mouth shut most times because the truth is, most people just don't have a clue as to how a golden retriever should look, act, be taken care of etc.. Take what they say with a grain of salt. At the end of the day all that matters is that your pup is healthy, happy and well taken care of.

I usually just smile and nod..some times I can't help myself though, especially when people say "Oh my goodness is he an English Cream?!" Or "Wow he is SO small is he mixed with something?" I educate them with a simple statement or bring up the breed standard, and then go on my way.

You are doing a great job with Leo....keep it up!
Same here. And with an actual "English Cream", the best/weirdest question we get these days is: "is he an albino?!"
I just tell them he's a Golden Retriever, just the lightest color they come in (and usually tell them they can be between this color and red).


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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:21 PM
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Have you ever heard of "kill 'em with kindness and bury 'em with a smile"? It's no one's business business how much you spend on your dog and I wouldn't bother discussing it with people who don't understand your dog's place in your life. Just smile and change the subject. If they won't cooperate, just say in your sweetest voice : "you have such a kind heart, I always know I can count on you to understand how much my dog means to me."

People spend all kinds of money on hobbies that seem silly to others who don't have a passion for it: golf, tennis, skeet shooting, car racing, bike racing, sky diving, mountain climbing, etc. and I don't make fun of them, so there's no way I'm going to let them make fun of my hobbies. If someone with a passion for one of those hobbies makes fun of you try telling them you knew they'd understand why you waste so much time and money on a dog since they spend so much on golf etc. Then smile


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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:43 PM
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I hear you. I get the size thing all the time. I find it fun to educate people. I explain that more times then not, the taller, bigger goldens are either poorly bred out of standard or they were spayed/neutered way to really that leads to taller dogs and higher risk of joint/knee issues. That's when I find out they either have a golden it had one in the past. That's either the uh oh moment lol or it become the person that starts asking a lot of questions.

About the care, the people that are giving you a hard time are people showing you they have no clue about how to care for a dog and honestly, probably shouldn't be owning dogs. It's also ignorant to just say, oh my dogs ears are just dirty so that's normal. So I guess they let their kids play in mud and oh well, they're just dirty so there's no need to bathe them... Seriously!?

When people try to pass judgement like what you're talking about, I like to be a little passive aggressive and throw it back at them.

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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 03:50 PM
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I normally don't react.... However, last week I had to take Moe to the vet. I ended up with a new vet, my one for the past 30 years had a family situation he had to leave for. The guy walked in and said "he's beautiful, what is he?" I simply said he's a Golden. Then he said "aren't they supposed to be gold?" (Moe is dark Golden) I said he is dark golden, or red. I explained that Moe is field bred and they can tend to be a little darker with less undercoat. He then said "If you wanted a field dog why not buy a lab"???? That is when I decided he wasn't worth the oxygen it would take to explain anything to.

It should be interesting when I take my sons 14 week old lab puppy in this Wednesday. The puppies breeder is my vet and he's from champion field lines. I think I'm going to ask him where he found a fill in that doesn't know what a Golden Retriever is. The last time I took Duke to the vet they commented that he is the picture of what a golden should look like at 9 years old. I admittedly own two different ends of the spectrum, but they are both very clearly Golden's.

Oh and by the way, I was there because I was afraid he scratched his eye. He didn't, but I felt better knowing for sure. It's my money I don't really worry about what others think.

I died laughing when I read Kristy's comment. I have a son that plays tennis and has traveled for it since he was 6. I spent a ton of money on him, but he also got amazing scholarship opportunities when it came time for college. I also have a son that dirt track races. My husband and both sons hunt, everything in life has a cost. We always got comments about my son that raced and what we spent. The most annoying comments came from men my husbands age that raced against our son. He grew tired of the comments around the age of 18 so he put "Daddy's Money" on the back of his race car and started thanking us for supporting him every time he won. The comments stopped as soon as the people figured out it didn't bother him. My kids are grown, but I don't regret one penny I've ever spent on them or our pets. My youngest son is across the country doing an internship and when he called last night he said he really misses having a dog around. They are part of the family.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 04:18 PM
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Quote:
First--how ANNOYING is it when people tell you that your Golden doesnt look like a golden because of how short he is or because he is too "fluffy" I am sick of it!! At this point i just google the breed standard and show people that he is perfectly normal. Tired of hearing people say he is too small and underweight at 68 lbs.
I'd just give them a dead eye look and fake smile. LOL. Sometimes people don't know what they are talking about and it's their problem.


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Second--I am sick of everyone just making fun of the money I spend on his health, food, and care. I have taken Leo multiple times to the vet his first year for various issues like ear infections, loose stools, hot spots, excessive weight gain and people think its over dramatic but they are serious things that need to be taken care of! My in laws had a golden and never took him to the vet for his ears because they said ears were just dirty all the time. It is perfectly normal to spend money on vet bills especially the first year!
If me, I'd just laugh it off and remind them that ages ago with my first golden I strongly recall rushing him in because he had "tumors" on his belly. Because it never occurred to any of us (including my mom who grew up with dogs) that male dogs would have nipples.

Better to take a dog in when there's problems vs be neglectful and have bigger bills long run.


Quote:
Third--I want to get Leo into showing and field training and people feel bad for him because they say that he will stop being a dog and wont have any fun. WHAT! I am trying to bond with my dog and give him a purpose. These dogs are meant to be working dogs and help and it brings them joy! What better way to give this to him??
I probably wouldn't say this aloud, but so many people out there I feel SO BAD for their goldens. They have no life, and sometimes spend many long days and so on without individual fussing or attention just for them. Even walks are turning into "all about the owner" because it's replacing a workout at the gym or whatever. Playing fetch ditto - because it's an owner trying to avoid taking a dog for a walk.

Dogs who are shown and compete - they spend many long hours with their owners. They travel with their owners. They grow up experienced with long road trips, hotel rooms, and visiting parks near show sites, etc. They should often have a full life like that.

YES - dogs sent out with pro handlers do have it tougher. They spend a lot of time sitting in crates... and some pros are not nice to the clients dogs when the clients aren't around... <= But you are talking about showing your dog yourself and don't need to worry about that.

Bottom line is if anyone brings up any nonsense about the dogs, blow them off and do your thing.

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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 04:49 PM
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I don't get this stuff anymore. All of my friends and relations are dog people (by attrition) so they get it. I've run off anyone else LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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So glad im not the only one!! At this point i am just not going to share anything about my dog to anyone. People ask too many questions and when they get an answer they just criticize and judge. No one (around me) truly gets it. Im super excited to join my local golden retriever clubs and make friends with people have the same love for their dogs as us!

Leo 08/02/18

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