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Regret after surrendering

5K views 20 replies 11 participants last post by  laurenC 
#1 ·
Recently I had to surrender my 9 month old Golden Retriever to a Golden Rescue. I had him since he was 8 weeks old spent 10-15hrs with him a day. I'm not sure what to do with myself thinking about it makes me depressed knowing I'll never get to see him again. I think about calling the rescue and asking if there's anyway I can have him back but I know there is no chance and it would be selfish. Looking for advice on how to move on I'm not sure if I can ever let this go.
 
#2 · (Edited)
I'm sorry you were in a situation where you had to surrender your boy.

Did you sign a form relinquishing ownership of him and the release of him to the Rescue? Most of the GR Rescue take ownership at time of Intake.

Not knowing what the circumstances or reason why you surrendered him and it will also depend on the Rescue Group, you could call the Intake person and talk to them.
 
#5 ·
I am so sorry you had to give up your boy. It is tough to lose that companionship no matter the circumstances. Perhaps just reviewing the reasons you felt it was better to let him go will help you not regret it so badly. Maybe you could request a report about his new home and feel better knowing he is in a great situation. Most rescues are able to find really good situations, especially for a young dog. They probably had lots of applications from loving homes. It's also okay to let yourself grieve his loss.
 
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#6 ·
I surrendered him yesterday morning, the main reason i surrendered him was because him and my parents dog didn't get along great. They started showing teeth, barking, growling and i had to break them up a lot. I tried to get my parents to go to training with me but they didn't want to and i can't afford to move out. I know i don't have a chance at getting him back i just miss him and I'm sure the rescue will end up finding him a better home.
 
#7 ·
I believe you did the right thing. Things could get worse since your parents did not want to collaborate. I am sure it was a difficult decision but the earlier the better. The dog appearantly felt that he was unwanted, alienated by your parents. For a GR ( since puppyhood at the same family) to show aggression raises many questionmarks. He did not feel good this boy and as a responsible owner you made the right choice for his happiness.
 
#9 ·
Oh no! I'm so sorry! We have a 10 month old, he is so sweet. But other dogs try to attack him all the time even when we walk by leashed on the sidewalk...mostly because he's not neutered. Did these behaviors always exist, or did they escalate as your boy reached maturity? Does he initiate, or just defend himself?
 
#12 ·
What kind of dog is your parents' dog? How old is he and is he neutered? Was your pup neutered? What was triggering your parents' dog to go after yours? Would your dog be trying to play and maybe being annoying to an older dog? Or was he just hanging out and the other dog would attack?


At the very least, I would call the rescue and find out what your options are, whether you could get him back. There may be people who can help you learn whether these dogs could co-exist. I'm sorry you had to give him up.
 
#14 ·
Cooper's Mom, when did you have him neutered? Our boy is almost 11 months. We live in downtown Chicago. I'm happy to try and arrange play dates as we've started to avoid the dog park...but we can barely walk down the sidewalk without worrying about loosely-leashed dog attacking him! He just comes into contact with too many dogs on a daily basis, it's getting so stressful! And of course everybody is dying to say hi to George (which of course, he LOVES) so it's getting hard.
 
#15 ·
Hi,

Cooper was neutered at 12 1/2 months. I had intended to wait until 18 months but he needed surgery for an obstruction and we decided to neuter at the same time.

By 12 months he was a constant target of neutered males. I live in a condo so didn’t have the option of a fenced in yard. I had to walk him and a young Golden needs lots of walks. We were attacked on sidewalks by other dogs. He was always being growled at. We like to sit on our small front yard which is near the sidewalk and other dogs on leashes would slow by us and stare aggressively at him. I couldn’t even bring him to watch my son play baseball because other dogs would snarl at him. was awful.

Within a few months of having him neutered all these issues disappeared. He hasn’t been growled at since. Other dogs sniff him and walk by or try to play.

I know many here don’t neuter their dogs, and if you have a large fenced in yard, that probably isn’t an issue. But being unneutered didn’t work for us.
 
#16 ·
I’m not a believer that neutering does much to change behavior. I think it’s a myth perpetuated by the mandatory spay/neuter people. The only thing that neutering does is slow down un-neutered boys from trying to breed females. I say only slow down, since neutered males can tie with females, spayed or not.

Behavior is not determined by neutering or not. Behavior is mostly determined by how the owners react to bad behavior. If bad behavior is not corrected, the dog thinks it’s ok. Now that the bad behavior is established, it will be very hard to change. It will take a lot of work.
 
#17 ·
It’s a biological fact that neutered dogs are threatened by unneutered dogs. There’s no point in denying biology because of an anti neutering bias. That’s as bad as pushing neutering for no reason. Neutering changes behaviors, both in the neutered dog and how other dogs relate to them. I understand there are health reasons to delay or not neuter a dog. But it’s important to learn the pros and cons in making a decision and not go into denial over facts to push one side or the other. People who have unneutered dogs and frequently encounter neutered dogs in public will have problems. They may as well know that.
 
#18 ·
I hear you, Cooper's Mom. We also live in a condo. For the next few months I have time to walk him multiple hours a day, but that doesn't change all the other dogs passing by! Since he really hasn't shown any behavior changes (aside from outside marking, we'd liketo wait until 18 months for us as well...but with no option of avoiding aggressive dogs, I think we'll do it around 12-14 months. City life, huh.

And to OP...yes, your dog's behavior might not change if neutered, but it might change the response from the other involved dog? Regardless, I hope you are finding peace no matter where you're at with this. Xo.
 
#19 ·
I agree that neutering does not change behavior. The dogs personality is the dogs personality. I can see neutering change the desire to mount other dogs but never a change in aggression or other personality flaws. I'd have to see some sort of proof/evidence/study supporting this. I too believe that this is just a myth pushed by the mandate of shelters trying to control the dog and cat populations. I have never seen a male dog personality or behavior change due to neutering. I have seen a lot of dogs, trained a lot of dogs and never seen a change. Only training have I seen be a difference maker.
 
#20 ·
My last golden wasn't neutered until he was about 18 months old. But from my own experience, other dogs were aggressive towards him before he was neutered. He was never the one who initiated growling etc. Neutering did NOT change Thor's behavior or personality. It did change the behavior of other dogs towards him.
 
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