When to say goodbye.... - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:00 PM Thread Starter
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When to say goodbye....

We rescued Buddy at the age of 5 and he is our third golden. He is now 13.
Buddy was diagnosed with lymphoma when he was 8 and is one of the few lucky ones that beat it with treatment. No recurrence in 5.5 years!
Now Buddy is blind and deaf. He has a growth in the wall between his nasal cavity and inside cheek. Vet says it is inoperable so he suggests not doing a biopsy. He also has suspected leukemia. His rear end is very weak. Also suspected dementia.
Buddy still lives to eat😊
But he does not seem to be enjoying life too much anymore. It is next to impossible to get him out of the house to do his business (and quite often he poops in the house...totally unlike him). His blindness also really has an impact on him. He seems very isolated and has a hard time connecting with us.
Buddy is the most gentle and loving creature I have ever known. I have a feeling the time is coming or already here and I don’t see it. I keep thinking when eating is no longer enjoyable that’s it. But he is really not enjoying life.
Any help is appreciated-
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:10 PM
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My heart goes out to you, watching someone you love suffer a decline like Buddy has been going through is wrenching. It does sound like you already know the answer... he may still be eating but when you say that you suspect dementia, he doesn't seem to be connecting with his people and seems isolated... is this how you want to spend your final days? I know I don't.

No one can answer for sure what you should do, we are not there. You will have to try to put Buddy first and find the strength to make sure he is not suffering. I am very much in the camp of "better a day too soon than a day too late." I am so sorry that you're facing this.


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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:37 PM
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Its is such a sad and hard decision. The Ohio State University Vet School has a scale to help assess Quality of Life
https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/companion/ou...-animal-owners
Click on the How Will I Know link.
I am so sorry Buddy is struggling so badly.


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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:45 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you both so much. There is so much guilt involved in making this decision! I think I know the answer and will talk to my husband 😔
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:48 PM
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I commend you for rescuing Buddy. I'm also sorry to hear that he is not feeling well. We just went through a similar experience with our 11-year-old Golden, River. He developed cancer and our vet didn't recommend treatment of any kind due to the aggressive form of cancer he had.

Your question is one that is dear to my heart. Honestly, I feel that during times like you're experiencing we often wait too long in making the best decision for our beloved pets. I think the question you have to ask yourself is whether or not Buddy has the quality of life that is best for him. If there isn't anything you can do to help him genuinely recover and get better, well, I know it's hard, but I agree with Nolefan. I think you already know the decision you need to make in doing the right thing by Buddy.

I just went through this a couple months ago. River was the greatest dog anyone could have ever wanted. He was truly a gentle giant that hung on every word I said, or at least he made me feel he did. Once he stopped eating and became lethargic, I knew then that he was telling me it was his time to say goodbye. Making this very hard decision is never easy, and Lord knows we have had to make this decision more than we would have liked. This tough decision is all part of having pets. They never live as long as we would like, and often they leave us way too soon, but in the end, your thoughts and heart need to be focused on what is best for Buddy.

The fact that he is not connecting with you and that he is doing his business in the house are signs that he is having trouble with the life he has. You mentioned that doing his business in the house is so unlike him. The ole Buddy you have known for years would not be happy doing this. I'm so sorry!

Focus on all the wonderful memories you have had with Buddy. Remeber the good times. This is what Buddy would want you to do. God Bless!

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 07:49 PM
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I'm sorry you are going through this. Good advice given. It's a very hard decision.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 08:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenmar View Post
Thank you both so much. There is so much guilt involved in making this decision! I think I know the answer and will talk to my husband 😔
Please, whatever you decide, please do not feel guilty. There is absolutely no guilt involved for loving your boy so much. You gave him a great life, and you gave him an extra five and a half years! That is a miracle! The bravest thing to do is to let him go when you know it is the right time. You will know in your gut when it is the right time. My heart goes out to you and your family.....


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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-20-2019, 09:09 PM Thread Starter
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Everyone’s kind responses mean so much to me! I have never been in this position before as my other goldens it was *very* clear it was time to say goodbye. Buddy is slowly slipping through my fingers and I don’t want him to suffer. He also vomits multiple times a week which leads me to believe he probably doesn’t feel too well and putting on a brave face.
Thanks again to everyone-
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-21-2019, 05:28 PM
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He is so lucky to have you. I have no doubt you will make your decision with abundant love for him.

Big hugs, I know what you are feeling, and how hard it is to even consider saying goodbye.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-21-2019, 05:34 PM
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My heart breaks for you. I know the feeling. It is never easy. Putting Buddy's quality of life is primary and I know that you know this. I wish you much peace as you and your husband make the decision. Remember and cherish all those wonderful memories of Buddy. He loves you so much for doing all that you have done.
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