Has Chloe't time come? - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2019, 05:39 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Has Chloe't time come?

I have a golden named Chloe. I adopted her at 8 weeks and she is probably not a pure bred dog. She is now 12 years old. She's been with me since before I was married, through 3 pregnancies, 2 countries, good times and bad times. I love her so.

In the past 6 months, and increasingly so in the past few weeks, Chloe has lost a lot of weight. She has food available to her, but doesn't eat. I can see all her ribs.
I groomed her for the summer and her hair never grew back, she is totally bald in many places now. I'm afraid she must be very cold. She has severe arthritis.
She seems to be getting more ill and tired over time. She frequently vomits multiple times a day. Good days are days where she manages to sleep comfortable on the couch. She doesn't greet me anymore at the door, because she can't. She looks like she is suffering.

I do not have the finances for expensive exploratory veterinarian care (I've cared for her her whole life, but I don't live in a country where pet insurance or pet non profits exist)

I feel Chloe's time has come, and I don't want to prolong her suffering just because it's hard for me. But I also can't imagine bringing her to the vet for the last time. How did you know it was time? How did you deal with the guilt and pain? How did you tell your kids? Please be gentle. This is not easy for me.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2019, 06:35 AM
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I am so so sorry. Your post made me cry because I've been I
your situation. Both of my Goldens died during their 12th year. Here is a link to a thread about quality of life.
https://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...ife-scale.html (Quality of Life scale)
Only you can decide this. I can tell you have given her a good life and I hope you can find comfort in that. Letting Chloe go, as painful as it is for you, may be the most loving choice. You're in my prayers.

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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2019, 06:09 PM
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Have you had recent blood work done on her? It could possibly be hypothyroidism.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-10-2019, 08:22 PM
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I'm sorry about Chloe, has she had a recent Vet exam that included a full blood work up?
Is she on any pain medication or joint supplements?

If it's possible, I would get her in for a Vet exam, especially since she's vomiting.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted by BeckyK View Post
I feel Chloe's time has come, and I don't want to prolong her suffering just because it's hard for me. But I also can't imagine bringing her to the vet for the last time. How did you know it was time? How did you deal with the guilt and pain? How did you tell your kids? Please be gentle. This is not easy for me.
Oh, how I know the pain you're experiencing right now. My wife and I just went through the same experience with our 11-year-old Golden, River, this past December 15th. It's never easy, and it doesn't get any easier no matter how many times you have to go through this experience.

That said, at the very least, do take Chloe to the vet, and have blood work done. This procedure will help the vet in diagnosing what she is experiencing. You state Chloe is 12, so she has had a wonderful life, and she possibly has more years ahead, but until you get your vet's diagnosis you can't know for sure what is going on with her declining condition. The last thing you want is for Chloe to suffer.

Let me try and help you with the guilt and pain you're experiencing now. I realize this is not easy to do, but you need to get your feelings off yourself and think solely about what is best for Chloe. As mentioned, you don't want her to suffer. Animals have a wonderful way of telling us when it's their time to cross over the rainbow bridge. Our River had cancer. After the vet told us he didn't recommend treatment, I asked him what would be the first signs that the time was right to say goodbye. Remember now, I already knew his time was limited due to the cancer diagnosis. The vet told us that not eating and becoming lethargic are usually the first signs the time is drawing near. If Chloe is not eating, not greeting you, and not her normal self, then something is definitely going on inside if her that needs to addressed, one way or the other.

If your vet finds something life threatening such as cancer, then your vet will advise you of your options, which you need to know to make an informed decision. If euthanizing is recommended there are a few things you should know. Yes, there will be tears and you're going to feel like it's hard to breathe. I know because I just went through this...If there aren't tears and the feelings of true loss, well, one can only wonder why. Be truthful with your children. This may be the first time they are experiencing loss, so this will be a good time to help them learn how to deal with loss as well.

When Chloe's time comes, you will want to be with her. You may want to have your children with you and Chloe, but at least make sure someone close to Chloe is with her. Remember, this is the time to think about Chloe. You should be with her to comfort her as she crosses over. After you have hugged on her for as long as you and Chloe need, your vet will give Chloe a sedative to make her fall into a deep sleep. She hasn't passed yet, Chloe will simply be sleeping soundly and not experiencing anymore discomfort. Think about this for a moment...Isn't this what you want for your beloved pet of 12 beautiful years? Sure it is! Then after about ten minutes, the vet will administer a shot that will stop her heart. Chloe may take a few deep breaths, or wine and groan a bit, but you need to know that she is not in any distress or suffering at all from this procedure. As I said, this is the most humane thing you can do for a pet that has loved you for so many wonderful years. Keep your mind and heart on Chloe...

Your vet will let you stay with Chloe for as long as you feel it's necessary. Just know that Chloe will no longer be suffering or in any discomfort. You may want to have someone with you to drive you home because you will experience the same loss as one feels when they lose a member of their family or a close friend. There isn't any way around this part. It's simply the tough part of having had one of God's amazing creatures in your life for 12 years. As each day passes, your pain will begin to ease. In time, you will be able to talk about Chloe without breakdown into a stream of tears, though your eyes will still water up a bit when you talk about her, but even this too will pass in time as time and God heals your feelings of loss.

When I was with River, I witnessed something I will never forget. He was able to walk into the vet's treatment room under his own strength after we spent one last time outside the vet's office in the grass together. I had him off leash so he could sniff the ground as dogs do. Then we walked into a private room where the vet had a large doggie bed laying there on the floor. River went straight to the bed and laid down. I sat on the floor next to him and began gently petting his big beautiful head. After a few moments, River got up and turned away from me and laid back down. I didn't know what to make of him turning away from me, but I then realized without any question that this was River's way of telling me he was ready to go.

As you may or may not know, animals often want to be in seclusion, away from their pack and humans when it's their time. They will wander off to die, which is what I think River was trying to to do when he got up and turned away from me. I couldn't help it at the time, so I pulled on the dog bed around so I could stroke River a few last times before we began to process to ease him of the pain he was experiencing. Once he crossed over the rainbow bridge, I just sat there with him for a while and thought about all the beautiful memories he gave to me and my family. River was a gentle giant, and I loved him so much...

BeckyK, my thoughts, and prayers will be with you. God Bless!

Last edited by Brodys Rockies; 01-11-2019 at 02:45 PM.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 02:59 PM
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After reading these posts I'm sitting at my desk in my office trying not to cry. I went through this situation a few years ago with my 13 year old golden, Gracie. She had been on thyroid medication for years, and the last two years of her life she suffered with kidney problems. We were at the point where I felt she was getting more medication then food. I took her to my vet, who has been my vet for 30 years, at least 5 different times with the intention of it being the last. I would take her in and then just couldn't do it and we would try one more food, or one more medication.

Finally, one Friday night I came in and she didn't get up to greet me at all. She worked as hard as she could to lift her head and wag her tail. I made my mind up that no matter what I wasn't adding another medication to her list. It wasn't fair to her. I got up early Saturday morning and called the vet. My vet was off, but another vet in his office said to bring her right in. I think it was better because she didn't know me, or my relationship with my dogs as well. I sat with Gracie as she went. It literally took seconds and although I was heart broken I knew I had done the best thing for her. Driving home alone was awful, but even then I knew I should have done it months before.

It was a bad time for me. My oldest son had just graduated and was going off to college. I just think I didn't want one more change in my life right then. I realized immediately after I did it that I had waited to long. I came home and looked at Duke, my much younger Golden at the time and made my husband promise that if Duke ever got to the point Gracie was he would take him. I think we've come so far with medical advances for our pets, but sometimes I think we just can't tell our selves when it's time to let go.

My heart goes out to anyone facing such a hard decision. I would have an honest conversation with my vet and make my decision from there. Remember it's not about you, and there is always one more thing to try, but is it what's best?
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by BeckyK View Post

I feel Chloe's time has come, and I don't want to prolong her suffering just because it's hard for me. But I also can't imagine bringing her to the vet for the last time. How did you know it was time? How did you deal with the guilt and pain? How did you tell your kids? Please be gentle. This is not easy for me.
Your Vet should be able to tell you from the blood work. My Vet help with Blondie (13 1/2 years), she could have live longer maybe a week but it would have been in pain. She could not hold her food or water without vomiting multiply times, her system was shutting down. The vet re-hydrated Blondie so I can bring her home one last time for a ride on the river. It was very hard to make that choice, but it was best for Blondie. I made sure I held her until she pass.

Have someone be with you at the Vet office. When you make the decision take time off from work for as long as you need. Yes you will feel guilt and pain, it was not easy for me, crying now about it. Praying for you.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 04:38 PM
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I feel your pain...you should make a vet appointment, talk to them about her quality of life, and together make a decision best for your sweetie....I wish you the best, but your strength is needed at this time, to help Chloe, especially if these are her last days...my thoughts and prayers are with you...

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 05:12 PM
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Iím very sorry for you, crying reading this thread. Itís one of the hardest things to do and definitely the worst part of owning pets.

I donít know how old your kids are but let me share something with you from when I was a child. We had a gentle little beagle that we all loved and I donít remember him coming into my life, I just remember that from when I started having memories of life, Tippy was there. One day I came home from school and Tippy wasnít there. I wasnít aware enough about life to realize he was old and I had never experienced death before this. It wasnít until after my parents had him put down that they told us he was old and sick and it was time to send him to doggie heaven. I was crushed. I was also angry that I didnít get to say goodbye. I was about 8-9 yrs old. I was angry enough that it has stayed with me my whole life and Iím now 50.

So obviously, make the best decision you can in regards to how to tell your children but I just wanted to share my story as something to think about. I know you have a lot to think about already, again Iím so sorry.

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 01-11-2019, 06:16 PM
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All of the advice given thus far are accurate. The need to have a vet visit will probably answer many questions. Having the time to go and see your vet would be beneficial. For me, having our Golden collapse suddenly will never be erased from my memories. We did not have time, and although it was surreal, for us, it was important to have the entire family there. It's so difficult, and a decision that you and your family would need to make. I pray much strength and comfort during this time and the focus on Chloe and her well being.
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