Sorry for your loss of Buddy. Put my Abby down this past Feb. 15. She was 11. Liver disease, anemia, etc. I am still devastated by her loss. I still look for her, I still talk and sing to her and we still laugh about all the goofy things she used to do. As summer approaches, I will really miss her hanging out with us in our back yard. While we would sit on the deck, she would be right in front of us on the lawn, laying there for hours, playing with her ball and just making sure she had us in her sights. It's gonna be tough sitting out there again. It does get just a tiny bit easier as time goes on. I had another Golden before Abby and he was 15. I still think about him too, but the pain has lessened for sure over time. This forum helped me out a lot and still does. Hang on to the memories, that's what gets you through. At first all I could think about was the last 3 months of her life, getting sicker and sicker and then the end at the vet. It took me a few weeks just to get over those thoughts and turn them in to the good times and all the fun we had.