Four years ago today I listened to my Buddy’s last heart beat. His heart, beautiful, loving, golden heart was slowing down and then it stopped. It was silent…at peace.
It is not a day I remember it is the day I will never forget. That day changed everything, brought the emptiness and silence into my house and shattered my heart in a thousand little pieces. I thought it is impossible to put them together again not that I really cared for it. I only wanted to go back in time, months back and then stop the time so it never comes the moment for two of us not to be together.
It took me long time, better said years, to create a new realm and new normal. Many of you here helped me to get there. And I know I made many friendly mad, who wanted just to give me a good shake and pull me out of my sadness. But you were all loving and caring, walking with me slowly and patiently when I needed you the most. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I will never forget that.
My Buddy is my heart dog. Loving Buddy is like … loving a child, the soulmate and the best friend all in one amazing being. It is a kind of love you feel with whole your heart and you will never forget. It brings you joy and fullness that makes this world a perfect place to be. It is strong, deep and endless, a true blessing to feel that love.
My Buddy is always with me…in my heart, in my thoughts, in every song I listen to, in every poem I read, in every walk I take with my Charlie, in a bright star on the sky above, in the first snowflake melting on my palm. He is in a sweet ladybug, in a yellow wild flower, in the wind, in a raindrop on my window and in silence.
My Buddy is in these tears slowly rolling down my face right now.
But still… I would give everything I have, to see my Buddy one more time running to me with a big smile on his face, just to give him one more hug. I know it is too much to ask for and it is silly too but still on breezy days while warm air is gently touching my face I close my eyes and I am waiting for my Buddy to come running into my hug, I am waiting with my arms wide open.
My sweet, sweet Bud I miss you so much and love you forever. Please remember what mammy has always said “wait for me Buddy, mammy will come back”. And I will be back to you…
Those past four years I shared with you my love for my Buddy and my sorrow for losing him. I want to share my favorite lines from the poem written by
God gives us love. Something to love
He lends us; but, when love is grown
To ripeness, that on which it throve
Falls off, and love is left alone.
You know it has been four years but still hurts looking at his pictures especially because many of them are “real” pictures that I can touch not just images on computer screen so I will post again one of my favorites,
just a two of us Attachment 527258