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Too soon???

1K views 22 replies 17 participants last post by  BrycesMom 
#1 ·
Last week, as some of you may have read, we lost our sweet Sadie suddenly and tragically. She was only 1 and a half. As anyone who has lost a dog know the house is empty without my furbaby. Noone to take for walks, nobody is greeting us at the door and all my socks are in pairs because there is no dog stealing them the minute we take them off our feet. We are a dog family and the silence without a dog is deafening.

I know it is different for everybody but is it too soon for another dog? I know we can never replace Sadie but I feel like a puppy will help heal our hearts?

My 9 year old, who watched Sadie die, hasn't been himself all week. He's just sad! He doesn't cry, but he is not his normal funny self. I wonder if a puppy would help that?

I feel quilty even thinking of getting another dog so soon. Any thoughts??

Thanks,
 
#2 ·
I know how you feel. When we lost Buddy I was beyond heartbroken and thought it would be quite awhile before I was ready to even contemplate another dog. The universe had a different plan. Just 2 short weeks later I found about about Ky and she needed a home immediately! Against my better judgement I went to meet her. She came home with us that day and I've never regretted it. She is not Buddy, she is Ky. But the house was alive again and she needed all of my attention so it did help me. I would not have believed it if I hadn't have gone through it.
Let your heart guide you. The funny thing is (and nobody believes us) shortly after Ky came here we heard Buddys squeaky ball in the bedroom, his room. I think it was his approval :)
Best wishes.
 
#4 ·
Thank you for not telling me I'm nuts. My biggest thing is that I want to see my son smile again and I miss the sound of laughter as the kids chased Sadie (or Sadie chased the kids). My heart tells me to get a puppy and it also tells me it is what Sadie would want. She would wants her "kids" to have that companionship again.
 
#3 ·
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Sadie, I'm so sorry. Everyone has their own way of doing things, but no one here will judge you by the speed or lack that you choose to bring a new dog home. Please go with your heart and do what seems right for you.

I am one who has always had just one dog at a time, and the loss of the individual seems to be compounded by the emptiness of my home without a 4 legged family member. I miss the thump of a tail on the wall, the shadow at my feet, constant companionship. With everyday it seemed to stay the same with the feeling of loss that I would wake up in the morning and before I'd even open my eyes my first thought would be "he's not here to let out, he's not here to feed breakfast". I really needed the project of a new puppy search to focus on and the new wiggly body to come home and fill my home. It's always a shock because the new puppy is an individual with a lot to learn, he won't take anyone's place, he'll be a 'dependent' and not a 'peer/companion' for quite a while. But he will become his own special personality and focusing on that has always helped me move on and heal my heart.

Please do a little research, see how you feel. If it seems right, don't hold back. The greatest tribute to Sadie is that she brought you so much joy that you would risk the certain heart break in the future just to have that feeling of love in your life again. Go with your heart.
 
#6 ·
I miss the thump of a tail on the wall, the shadow at my feet, constant companionship. With everyday it seemed to stay the same with the feeling of loss that I would wake up in the morning and before I'd even open my eyes my first thought would be "he's not here to let out, he's not here to feed breakfast".QUOTE]

You took these thoughts right out of my head. Even having to sweep crumbs off the kitchen floor breaks my heart.....I haven't seen a crumb on my floor since the day we brought her home, my own living, breathing vacuum. :)
 
#7 ·
Here is our story, like you, we felt like it was too soon to get another dog. We felt like we were not being fair to Jorgee in getting a dog so soon, then the following happened. We still to this day talk about Jorgee, a LOT, even though we love Roxxi a ton, Jorg is still our girl, we miss her every day. (I posted the story before so I just copied it over to here)

We felt the same way. We lost our girl on June 21st very suddenly, she was 11 1/2 and our world, people called her the perfect dog.

We had purchased Jorgee from an add in the paper all those years ago, I remembered the location. Just for something to do I had been searching the area for goldens on line and nothing ever came up. On the day we went to pick up her ashes I did another search, same words in Google and up pops this website of a golden breeder in the same area but close to where we purchased her, anyway long story short I email them and they tell me they are the same people but they had moved about a mile away. They asked if we would like to come out and see the puppies, of course I said yes.

We went out to LOOK at puppies and ended up buying Jorgee's great niece. I told my husband I was sure it was her way of telling me I had cried enough (she didn't like it when I cried) and we needed another golden to take care of US.

Do what your heart tells you is right.
 
#9 ·
We went out to LOOK at puppies and ended up buying Jorgee's great niece.
It's funny you ended up with Jorgee's great niece. When I called my breeder to let her know what happened to Sadie she told me she kept Sadie's sister and she just had puppies last week. I could get Sadie's niece. Only problem is that my husband is out of work and the $1100.00 to buy a golden from a breeder is not in the budget. :(
 
#11 ·
When my first Golden, Cassie, died suddenly I was heartbroken. Within a month I found a Golden to fill the void. In a way for me it backfired because I found myself feeling angry that my new pup was not Cassie. I love my Golden girl, Baylee, and have no regrets today but at the time it was a challenge to be able to recognize her own unique personality.

Listen to your heart. The love and companionship you found with Sadie has given you a gift that you will carry on to your next pup. Just be aware that there may be moments when even a new pup can't bring you the comfort you need.
 
#12 ·
There is never a "right time", and I can only say what we have found when we have lost our goldens.

After losing Kelly (Our first, but my 3rd), I said no more I can't deal with the pain and hurt but I couldn't go in the house and would sit outside in the car, and so after 4 days it was Barry who made the decision to get another. When we first saw Ginny I cried I bet the breeder thought I was nuts, but having her gave me a reason to get up. When we lost Ginny, we still had Holly but after a couple of weeks we got Quinn and then 12 months later we lost Holly and found Reeva.

None of our dogs have ever and never will replace those that we have lost - they have all come into our family as a new member and yes we sometimes find ourselves comparing them to our pups at the bridge.

My dad who was 74 when he lost Jemma said he wouldn't have any more dogs because of his age, but when he seemed to be giving up - not doing anything, sitting in a chair and taking no interest in life I prodded him in the direction of a litter of pups the short story he ended up with Katie who is now 9 and he is out every day with her and has a reason to smile again.

As for getting another dog I would say do it - having Sadie in your life will never change and you will always cherish her memory, but take that chance to laugh again and open your heart to another if you can
 
#14 ·
If you could, perhaps the breeder that has sadies neice, could help , i would try to get one from this litter, i lost spencer, from cancer,a few years ago,he was my heart dog, i called his breeder, she was thinking of having a litter from one of hers, i got a boy, spencers grand newphew, his name is spirit, i can't tell you how much this helped me,with my grief,over spencer. Did you find out what killed sadie?
 
#15 ·
If you could, perhaps the breeder that has sadies neice, could help , i would try to get one from this litter, i lost spencer, from cancer,a few years ago,he was my heart dog, i called his breeder, she was thinking of having a litter from one of hers, i got a boy, spencers grand newphew, his name is spirit, i can't tell you how much this helped me,with my grief,over spencer. Did you find out what killed sadie?
Sadie died from bloat and twisted stomach. It was very quick (about 1/2 hour from when she showed signs something was wrong) so thankfully she did not not suffer long.
 
#17 ·
I am so sorry for your loss. Essentially, you have lost a Family member. I couldn't imagine our house without excitement that Carly brings.
I couldn't agree more, follow your heat.
There is no right or wrong time.....but there is "your" time and if you feel it's the right thing to do then do it.
You would and will have the support of any pet owner.
You may be pleasantly surprised to see some of Sadie's traits in the new pup, after all Goldens are a special sort.
Best of luck with whatever you choose.


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free
 
#18 ·
Again, I am so sorry for your loss of Sadie..

I will tell you that there is no right answer for your question... and you may never feel fully ready for another pup. Maybe just start researching breeders or rescues and talking about it with your family until you find the right litter or dog for you.
 
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#19 ·
I am so sorry for your loss of Sadie, it was such a traumatic experience for you all, but probably even more so for your son.

I think whenever you feel the time is right, it's different for everyone, you should follow your heart. Bringing a new pup/dog into your home can help your hearts heal.

I lost my 15.5 year old Sr. boy about 1.5 years ago. I also have a golden girl I adopted through one of the GR Rescues, she is a former puppy mill momma. She will always need to be with another dog.

We were all grieving, including her. She got very quiet, started withdrawing, I knew I needed to get another dog for her sake as well as ours as soon as possible. Two weeks after we said goodbye to our boy, I found a 2 yr. old Golden Male at my County Humane Society. Went to look at him, decided he would be a great fit for my girl so I adopted him. NO, we weren't ready for him, I actually felt guilty going to look at him, but I also had my girl to consider. I knew the longer I waited, the harder it would be for her and I could run the risk of not being able to bring her back to where she was. She had come a very long way and made so much progress from being the terrified young girl I brought into our home.

Remy, my new boy, helped us all heal. He needed us as much as we needed him. I don't regret adopting him when I did, I would have missed out on so much love and joy had I waited.

You can never replace one dog with another, each are very different and unique in their own way and bring something very special to your life.

There are a lot of options available to you when you decide to get another dog.
 
#20 ·
I don't feel it's ever 'too soon', our Maggie went to Rainbow Bridge on 7/20/09. DH didn't want another dog at this point, I did but wasn't sure when. Our daughter (unknown to me) started contacting breeders and surprised me on 8/12/09 with Hank. His puppy antics helped take away the pain and bring back all those forgotten puppy memories rather than focus on the senior years issues.

I believe getting another dog or puppy is a testament to the wonderful life you had with your pet that has gone on to the BRidge.
 
#21 ·
Sadie's Mom

Sadie's Mom

Everyone is different. My hubby and I always have to adopt right away after we lose a dog, even though we've had two dogs for over 20 years.
I agree completely that another Golden would help heal your hearts, your son's and yours. Whether you get a puppy or adopt a Golden, it will be wonderful. Sadie would want you all to be happy!!
 
#22 ·
I don't think there is any correct answer.
Last summer I lost both of my 17yr old cats 1 month apart. Within a week, I brought 2 new kittens home.
I actually started looking for a golden puppy in early spring. When Bear was diagnosed with hemangio I went ahead and put a deposit on a litter. I knew neither I or my other dog would want to be without a buddy for very long. Early on I had hopes that Bear would make it to meet the new dog, but it wasn't meant to be. I brought Kenzie home 4 weeks after Bear died. It was very bittersweet, but I've never regretted it.

Remember, you're not replacing Sadie, you're just opening your heart to another dog.
 
#23 ·
I agree with many about "your" time as opposed to some "right" time.

That said, just one thing that we encountered in our home. We lost our 13 y/o on April 3. My two sons, ages 6 and 8, took it very hard. They were very clear with me that they loved dogs, but did not want to replace Bryce. My older son said it would be "unfair" to Bryce's memory. So we talked about Bryce a lot, looked at pictures, read dog books... grieved. Then, around mother's day, they started to transition and realize, as my older son put it, that "we miss Bryce AND we miss having a dog." They were ready to see the difference.

We visited breeders together, read up on puppies together, and chose Tank together. They were very clear that they wanted a "lighter" golden (Bryce was red) so that the new pup was physcially not a replacement for Bryce.

Checking in with my kids was great. They compare our new furball to Bryce in some ways, but it is always with a laugh like, "Bryce used to do this..." and then "But Tank does this..." They will always remember their first mutt, and cherish their new one, and I think it is because they were able to do it at their own pace.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you and yours. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sadie was a lovely girl.
 
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